https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 01 May 2026 06:06:27 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-responsibility-for-a-cousins-teen#post-860609 Sat, 15 Jun 2013 18:44:12 +0000 regberadaisy 860609@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone for re-affirming my thoughts!</p> <p>We'll def be here for her but I do not want to become a pseudo guardian of a 18 yr old female 20 hrs away from her parents! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-responsibility-for-a-cousins-teen#post-860524 Sat, 15 Jun 2013 17:26:46 +0000 loveisstrange 860524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No way, dude. The whole point of college is to grow up, get out on your own and experience life as as adult. Too much on you guys, not fair to the kid. Just say no.</p> <p>Plus, I know my university wouldn't give you your full scholarship unless you lived on campus. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-responsibility-for-a-cousins-teen#post-860500 Sat, 15 Jun 2013 17:12:39 +0000 Grace 860500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Since you don't want to do it, I'd say it's decided and you should stick to your guns. But fwiw, when my sister lived at my uncle's, she paid room and board (I expect it was some sort of discounted rate) and she came and went as she pleased. She was an adult, not my uncle's responsibility. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-responsibility-for-a-cousins-teen#post-860433 Sat, 15 Jun 2013 16:18:53 +0000 Pepper 860433@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say no! I'm sure the girl will be glad you decline, because most freshmen I know/knew would want to live on campus. That's the only real way to meet people and make new friends at a new school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-responsibility-for-a-cousins-teen#post-860426 Sat, 15 Jun 2013 16:13:44 +0000 blackbird 860426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No way. What college freshman wants to live with family instead of on campus where she can make friends? Plus, she may be coming and going at odd hours. </p> <p>I think it's all around a bad idea </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-responsibility-for-a-cousins-teen#post-860236 Sat, 15 Jun 2013 13:02:52 +0000 Mrs. Pen 860236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If it was someone close to me I would... a friend's child, a niece/nephew and if in general they were a well behaved student/teen. </p> <p>You might run into the awkward risk of the college student being sexually active and bringing partners into your home - that would definitely be unacceptable! But for many students that is part of their college experience (not to say I condone it, but it's a fact of life).</p> <p>I think in your case your reasoning sounds great: you have the responsibility of a job, baby etc... and don't have the resources or desire for responsibility that would come with a teen in your home. I think your idea of just remaining family in the area - someone to "come home to" if need be is a great idea. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-responsibility-for-a-cousins-teen#post-860229 Sat, 15 Jun 2013 12:58:40 +0000 HLK208 860229@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope!! Maybe a few visits and that's good. You're there in case of an emergency so I think that's good enough! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-responsibility-for-a-cousins-teen#post-860221 Sat, 15 Jun 2013 12:51:11 +0000 autumnlove 860221@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No way! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-responsibility-for-a-cousins-teen#post-860202 Sat, 15 Jun 2013 12:28:43 +0000 T-Mom 860202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've thought a lot about this scenario since most of my DH's families live over seas but want to send their kids to school here. There is no way I would be able to take in a teenager (I think some ppl are big enough, I just know my limits). I would be ok with weekend visits or even holiday (how can you say no to a college student who doesn't have anywhere to stay over a holiday?) but that's it. I figure even with those visits and potentially having to bail the kid out of any trouble since I'm the closest one, that would already be a lot of commitment. For a cousin too, not even my own siblings kids! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-responsibility-for-a-cousins-teen#post-860112 Sat, 15 Jun 2013 11:10:24 +0000 jhd 860112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would not take on that responsibility. I would encourage her to get the most out of her freshman year by living in the dorms. But I'm sure it would be nice for her to visit you for a meal when she needs a break from cafeteria food! ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-responsibility-for-a-cousins-teen#post-860107 Sat, 15 Jun 2013 11:07:19 +0000 GrapeCrush 860107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope, not a chance! I'm sure she's going to want to experience college and being away from home, and I wouldn't want to be responsible for that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-responsibility-for-a-cousins-teen#post-860096 Sat, 15 Jun 2013 11:00:23 +0000 Sapphiresun 860096@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I lived with an extended family member when I went away to college, but I think it's asking a lot for a cousin you're not that close with to possibly want you to do this. Essentially, I bought all my own groceries, cooked all my own meals and came and went as I pleased. They weren't responsible for any curfews or discipline or anything.</p> <p>The only scenario where I might take it on was if my house was set up in such a way that there was a suite that she could rent and have a similar situation where she's essentially a tenant that you have no more responsibility over than any other renter. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-responsibility-for-a-cousins-teen#post-860082 Sat, 15 Jun 2013 10:35:22 +0000 Mrs. Twine 860082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Begging for trouble, sounds like. I think it's just too sticky of a situation to put yourself in, and it's awesome that you have the forethought to realize some of the potential problems. I would go with @Mrs. Jacks and say something along the lines of, "I really think she would have a much better experience living in the dorm." 'Cause I think you guys would like that experience (her living in the dorm) much better, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-responsibility-for-a-cousins-teen#post-860077 Sat, 15 Jun 2013 10:34:22 +0000 oliviaoblivia 860077@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would cut the kid a break and say absolutely no. I'm sure you are fabulous, but as a college freshman the last thing I wanted was to live with my family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-responsibility-for-a-cousins-teen#post-860075 Sat, 15 Jun 2013 10:32:57 +0000 kjpugs 860075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No way would I do that and if I was the teen no way I'd want to stay with you! Teens going away to college want to have their freedom and not a "spy" reporting back to daddy. (Not that you'd do that but that's how I'd see it as the teen!) On the slim chance they ask, just say what you said (happy to have her for breaks, and you're there for her in emergencies, etc) but that you cannot have any long-term houseguests. Hopefully your cousin doesn't see this school as tuition minus room and board, just because you live there. If so, it's on your cousin for his bad judgement!</p> <p>My dad passed away my freshman year, I was 12 hours from home, and I know after that my mom really tried to connect me with distant relatives in the state in case of a similar emergency. So hopefully your cousin will get over having to pay room and board and be thankful to have a family member in the area who can be there for his daughter! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-responsibility-for-a-cousins-teen#post-860074 Sat, 15 Jun 2013 10:31:48 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 860074@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't do it. It would be a lot to take on. And also she would miss out on the experience of living on campus. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-responsibility-for-a-cousins-teen#post-860063 Sat, 15 Jun 2013 10:24:25 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 860063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Doesn't sound like you are super close to this cousin so I would say no as well. One thing that is hard when you initially going to school is making friends and living at a residence does not help that. I do not think it's hard or difficult to expect and ask for room and board. But lets say the teen does not clean up after herself or starts having bad grades and doing other things parents do that way or you for that matter. With the parents expect you to step in as a role model, displinarian? that is the part that I would not want.</p> <p>My parents took in a distant cousin when she was a young woman in the city. She was working but not in school. the situation was always going to be temporary but if I recall correctly it ended sooner than it was supposed to. Part of the problem with house she spent her money and my parents sthought recklessly and did not want that type of um role model around me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-responsibility-for-a-cousins-teen#post-860057 Sat, 15 Jun 2013 10:21:16 +0000 yoursilverlining 860057@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>NO, that seems like a situation just begging for trouble and family drama!! If she ends up going there, I would offer her a place to stay as an open invitation if she needs to get away from the dorms for a night or something, but I would definitely not offer a place to live. Living in the dorms for at least the first year of college is great; you are closer to everyone and everything and you have to learn to share and live with people, which is good too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-responsibility-for-a-cousins-teen#post-860050 Sat, 15 Jun 2013 10:18:17 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 860050@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh man, my post was lost, but I said that this kid wouldn't want to live with you either! And then I said you could say that you philosophically believe that all freshman should live in the dorms their first year as part of normal development and to meet people. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-responsibility-for-a-cousins-teen#post-860045 Sat, 15 Jun 2013 10:15:58 +0000 prettylizy 860045@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope, I wouldn't want that on my shoulders at all. I remember what my sister was like when she went away to school, and trust me, she didn't want to be living with family either! lol! I'd offer to be her 'person' in case of emergency etc but she should be living on campus (or off campus sutdent housing) and expierencing things like that. You can still have her over for dinners and meet her at the mall etc, but she she comes stumbling home from the campus pub at 3am, you don't need to see that! lol! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-responsibility-for-a-cousins-teen#post-860038 Sat, 15 Jun 2013 10:10:46 +0000 regberadaisy 860038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Next weekend my cousin's daughter is coming to stay with us for a weekend. She's very interested in the university DH &amp; I went to and is coming to tour the campus. I offered to let her stay at our place and we'll bring her around.</p> <p>This school is currently her top choice so if she gets in she'll be coming here. Knowing my cousin there's a chance he'll ask if his daughter can live with us.<br /> My DH doesn't have a problem with it. But I want no part in it!<br /> For one she'll be in college, away from home. I do not want responsibility for anything she might or might not do. Any trouble she might get into. How would I establish rules and curfews? We have a baby at home!</p> <p>Two: money. She can't live here for free. So what do I do? Charge family room &amp; board? Do I cook for her? Clean after her?</p> <p>I talked to my mom and she agreed that's too much to take on. So if my cousin's daughter does end up going to this uni and my cousin does ask we're going to say no thanks. But if she can't get home for break she is more than welcome to come stay during break. And we'll def occasionally invite her for Sunday dinner, etc.</p> <p>What would you do in this situation? Would you take on the responsibility of someone else's child?</p> <p>(I would absolutely do it for our nieces and nephews bc I know we have authority. When it comes to anyone else that's tricky) </p>