https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 27 Oct 2026 07:22:38 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2417173 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 14:26:30 +0000 JoJoGirl 2417173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Done - email sent. Thanks everyone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2417153 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 14:18:39 +0000 Alba4 2417153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Tell her. I'm sure she'll be excited for you. It definitely hurts more when people don't share good news. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2416614 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 10:03:08 +0000 Greentea 2416614@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pickle: I agree. </p> <p>I would just tell her! Even with good intentions, if someone is creeping around it can be more hurtful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2416512 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 09:33:35 +0000 JoJoGirl 2416512@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: Thank you so much :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2416510 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 09:33:10 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2416510@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoJoGirl: and congratulations, btw! I'll keep my fingers crossed for this one! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2416506 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 09:32:17 +0000 JoJoGirl 2416506@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: Awesome. I feel so much better. Thank you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2416501 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 09:31:15 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2416501@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoJoGirl: I think she will totally understand and be grateful for your honesty. And be super supportive if things don't go perfectly. I think telling her about the bfn is a good idea. That's basically what my cousin did. I ended up with more info than anyone else in the family because she knew I was really keeping track with her so I'd know it was that month! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2416494 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 09:28:39 +0000 JoJoGirl 2416494@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: Okay - that makes TOTAL sense. I really appreciate it. I'll probably even tell her that BFN I texted her about turned BFP in the trash that day because otherwise she will be SUPER confused about how I could be 8 weeks pregnant already. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2416489 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 09:27:25 +0000 JoJoGirl 2416489@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pirouette: @coopsmama: Thank you both! I think I was worried i would sound ungrateful if I said "I'm pregnant but miserable and scared and not excited at all"... I wouldn't phrase it exactly that way, but yes she'd be very understanding of my fears. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2416487 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 09:27:10 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2416487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoJoGirl: I wouldn't worry about that. She'll understand, going through it herself. My cousin and I had a similar thing happen. We'd both been trying a while. She was just moving onto Clomid plus iui. She texted and told me she had to miss her 2nd iui because her husband was out of town. What I didn't know was that she took the Clomid anyway and that was the cycle they ended up pregnant. I guess he wasn't out of town for that long! Anyway, it made me think they were out. I was glad she told me relatively early because it would've been weird if she suddenly went quiet after our regular TTC conversations. She had also had a loss before that and had tried for three years. They have a healthy 4 month old now! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2416481 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 09:22:50 +0000 Pirouette 2416481@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would tell her over email ahead of time, and if you are comfortable doing so, i would also mention your fears (especially since she knows your history) and how you're not really telling people yet because of those fears, but that you didn't want to hold it back from her. I think that might help soften the blow in a way because it will remind her that this hasn't exactly been easy for you either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2416478 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 09:22:47 +0000 coopsmama 2416478@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you should email her right away, especially since it sounds like you guys have been keeping each other up to date on TTC. I would be really hurt to know you hid it in her shoes, and I would think if she knew about your previous miscarriage and is walking a tough TTC road herself she would be a great support to you should anything happen to this pregnancy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2416474 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 09:18:55 +0000 JoJoGirl 2416474@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: Absolutely. Thank you. It's already awkward because I tested too early and texted her I got a BFN. The next day (actually, that night) it was a BFP so already feeling a little dishonest :-/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2416472 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 09:17:16 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2416472@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoJoGirl: yes, sorry should've written more. Its early here! I'd tell her now. I agree with Mrs. Pickle about feeling hurt when people hid it. I also think it sounds like it would be awkward because you always talk about TTC. She'd know something was up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2416468 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 09:14:20 +0000 JoJoGirl 2416468@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsrain: Okay that's a good point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2416467 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 09:13:54 +0000 JoJoGirl 2416467@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess the other issue is I don't really WANT to tell her yet - after my loss I'm not able to feel excited/optimistic at all about this pregnancy so haven't wanted to tell anyone til the 2nd tri. But I also don't want to hide it from her. So hence my feeling conflicted. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2416463 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 09:13:16 +0000 mrsrain 2416463@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely tell her via email, and sooner rather than later! Maybe make a point that you were planning to wait until things felt a bit more certain, but that you wanted to tell her before it slipped out during her visit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2416462 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 09:12:48 +0000 JoJoGirl 2416462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: Thank you! I don't want to tell her in person. I guess my question is more tell her over email vs. hide it? Mrs Pickle made a good point about feeling hurt by hiding it (which is exactly why I asked this group - would rather do the right thing here). Appreciate any feedback! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2416453 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 09:08:31 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2416453@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Three of my cousins got pregnant within a month of each other when I was TTC. I was happy for all of them, but the one I learned about in person was so incredibly hard. I had to sit through dinner holding back tears the entire time. I did much better if I had time to process on my own. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2416442 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 08:48:47 +0000 JoJoGirl 2416442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LBee: The only weird thing would be not telling her about our TTC, since that's the main point of conversation whenever we see each other! That would be really tough to avoid :-/</p> <p>@Mrs. Pickle: Thank you for that - helpful to know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2416441 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 08:48:32 +0000 Foodnerd81 2416441@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agree with @LBee: to tell her ahead of time. It's bound to come up one way or another and you don't want her to think you are hiding it from her anyway. I'm sure she will be very happy for you even when she is upset for herself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2416440 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 08:47:04 +0000 LBee 2416440@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoJoGirl: Definitely didn't think you would intentionally drop that bomb, I just know that a lot of people figured it out with me because I was acting "weird." One person said I was touching my stomach a lot and that tipped her off - I didn't even know I was doing it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2416439 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 08:47:02 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2416439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Don't hide it. It was hurtful to me when people would avoid telling me about their pregnancies. How do you usually talk to her? That's how I would tell her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2416437 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 08:45:05 +0000 JoJoGirl 2416437@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LBee: Yes, telling her in person (intentionally) was never even an option. But you're right even if that could happen accidentally, it's worth avoiding at all costs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2416436 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 08:43:44 +0000 LBee 2416436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In my experience, email. If you have even the slightest feeling that she will find out, I think it will be much easier for her to do so over email than in person -- it allows her to process her feelings on her own as opposed to sitting in front of you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2416435 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 08:41:12 +0000 JoJoGirl 2416435@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: She is TTC her first. She has always had some hormonal issues and never ovulated on her own so knew they'd struggle when they started trying. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2416434 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 08:40:08 +0000 regberadaisy 2416434@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Does she have any kids yet or is she TTC for her first? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-telling-my-sil-im-pregnant#post-2416429 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 08:34:07 +0000 JoJoGirl 2416429@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi all, </p> <p>My SIL has been struggling with infertility for over a year. They've done 6 rounds of Clomid and 3 of IUI. Tomorrow is her last IUI before they move onto IVF. </p> <p>During that year, she and I have been talking almost constantly since I started TTC shortly after she did. I got pregnant in June and then lost it at 8 weeks, which she knew about (we were away on vacation with them when I got my BFP). I'm almost 10 years older than her so we are both a bit nervous about our struggles.</p> <p>I'm now 8 weeks pregnant again, and this time we haven't told anybody except our parents (and even then, only after seeing a h/b on an ultrasound). </p> <p>Here's the tricky thing: she decided to come visit this weekend for the holiday to see us and my LO. I'm noticeably bloated since this is my 3rd pregnancy. </p> <p>I'm just trying to be super, uber sensitive to her situation so I'm not sure how to handle her visit. I wouldn't have told any more family until after our cell-free DNA results come back in about a month.</p> <p>Don't tell her and just avoid any questions she may have about us TTC? </p> <p>Tell her over email this week so she can process it on her own?</p> <p>Don't tell her this week but be honest if she asks??</p> <p>(ETA: I put this in "family" instead of "infertility support" because I'm not sure where it should go....) </p>