https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 01:58:46 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yelling-neighbor#post-2923292 Fri, 09 Apr 2021 09:02:03 +0000 foodiebee 2923292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with PP that unless you have an established relationship with her, any comments are going to come off as condescending and shaming, even without that being your intent. If a random neighbor stopped me to tell me they had feedback on my parenting, I don't think I'd take it well. The truth is, for her to respect your feedback and be open to it, she'd need a relationship with you in some way, a way to respect what you said and not take it personally. </p> <p>If this is truly something bothering you enough to do something about it, then my advice would be to start reaching out to establish a relationship--NOT with the goal of eventually telling her how bad a mother you think she is, but because you really care about wanting to get to know her and foster a friendship. You might learn a lot that you aren't seeing in the process, and it would inform not only how you're viewing this situation but what path you take in helping to address it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yelling-neighbor#post-2923278 Thu, 08 Apr 2021 17:05:31 +0000 Portboston 2923278@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@minimalistmom: she has neighbors on both sides so yes, one other wall. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yelling-neighbor#post-2923277 Thu, 08 Apr 2021 16:49:34 +0000 minimalistmom 2923277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Portboston: Does she share a wall with any other neighbor? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yelling-neighbor#post-2923273 Thu, 08 Apr 2021 15:44:30 +0000 Portboston 2923273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LadyDi: right. I can hear the dog barking but besides that, no other noises.<br /> I think the moral support thing is the best solution. I hope the verbal stuff stops once the kids are back in school. It’s heartbreaking to hear it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yelling-neighbor#post-2923270 Thu, 08 Apr 2021 15:21:03 +0000 LadyDi 2923270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Unfortunately I don't think there's any way to talk to her about it that won't come across as mom-shaming or just really embarrass her. Even if you offer to help, I think it could be received as a bit condescending. I just think if I was stressed to the max and my neighbor tried to offer me unsolicited parenting advice I would either want to die of shame or just really resent my neighbor. I'm sorry you have to listen to her yell at her kids though, that's hard for you and your son. </p> <p>Do they ever listen to music or tv really loudly? I think that's a less tricky way of telling her that you can hear what goes on in their house. Like "hey! i could hear your tv when i was trying to put my son to bed..." or something along those lines? I also really like @Chuckles: advice of just reaching out to offer moral support. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yelling-neighbor#post-2923269 Thu, 08 Apr 2021 14:56:48 +0000 Portboston 2923269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Twolittlemen: yelling every so often is one thing, this is consistent screaming and berating the kids every day. </p> <p>I definitely don’t want to embarrass her but it concerns me that it’s so often and so angry sounding. I was thinking if I mentioned it in a friendly tone and offered any help it may make her think about the way she consistently communicates with her kids (and the fact that she lives in a place with shared walls and maybe should be a little more cognizant of her noise level). I can hear the little girl screaming a lot and it’s clear she is mimicking her mom. But you’re right, if she doesn’t see anything wrong with it, she may not stop! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yelling-neighbor#post-2923267 Thu, 08 Apr 2021 13:29:15 +0000 Twolittlemen 2923267@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would never say anything. And I don't know anyone who wants to scream at their kids. I am NOT a yeller and I will occasionally yell at my kids and I feel AWFUL (like literally the worst mom ever) when I do and I can't imagine how much worse I'd feel, not to mention mortified, if someone told me they were hearing me. Also if she actually doesn't feel terrible about it and is fine with it, mentioning it won't stop her either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yelling-neighbor#post-2923259 Wed, 07 Apr 2021 21:56:33 +0000 Portboston 2923259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ChitownRo: it’s no particular time. Completely random. Morning and evening. @Chuckles: Great idea!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yelling-neighbor#post-2923258 Wed, 07 Apr 2021 21:12:46 +0000 Chuckles 2923258@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Portboston: given her level of stress and the fact that she's not yelling all day long, I definitely wouldn't say anything. But is there a way you could reach out to offer moral support? Do you ever see her outside where you could ask how she's doing? Or leave a note with a treat at her door, just like, "we made some treats and wanted to share. Let me know if you need anything!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yelling-neighbor#post-2923256 Wed, 07 Apr 2021 20:19:47 +0000 ChitownRo 2923256@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, I wouldn’t, but I hate confrontation. Is there a certain time of day she yells? My weakest time is like 4-6 pm - out of patience and probably yell a little. Or at least sound very exasperated 🤦🏻‍♀️<br /> I would hate if a neighbor mentioned it though and literally avoid them at all costs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yelling-neighbor#post-2923245 Wed, 07 Apr 2021 15:10:18 +0000 Portboston 2923245@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I moved into a townhouse in December of 2020 and have one shared wall (much better than my old place where I could hear my upstairs neighbor peeing!!) anyhow, the family that lives nextdoor to us has a ~3 year old girl and an ~8 year old boy who is autistic and has ADHD. They also have half custody of a 7 year old boy. The woman home schools the boys in between maintaining her catering business (or what’s left of it) and the man is a first responder (paramedic). So they have definitely experienced a huge amount of stress this past year. We have become friendly but haven’t spent much time together as my son is super shy and hates being social. </p> <p>My question - she SCREAMS at her children at least once a day. I can hear it through our wall. I know how stressful parenting can be, add a neurodiverse child and a first responder husband - I’m sure she gets virtually zero self care time. I grew up in a house where people yelled a lot so it’s a huge trigger for me and I feel absolutely awful for those kids. (There are no visible signs of physical abuse). Do I say something to her? </p>