https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Apr 2026 09:13:08 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yet-another-update-to-our-feeding-issues-and-why-i-hate-some-doctors#post-1823896 Tue, 19 Aug 2014 15:28:10 +0000 Mae 1823896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I'm so glad I "met" you. :) Seriously your story just keeps reaffirming for me that I'm not crazy. Also my mom was sort of the same the first week I was telling her about this. She kept saying "well maybe she's just not hungry. Maybe you should just try again later. Maybe she's just going to be a little bit fussy about eating." That next weekend we were at their house and we walked in the door (LO having not eaten in about 6 hrs because we couldn't get her to eat before we left and then 2 hrs in the car) and I handed her to my mom and said have at it! By the end of the day (with her trying several times to feed her) she was like wow... that is not at all normal. Ummm YEA. I think until you see it in action over the course of some time you just can't really believe that a baby would actually not eat all day long. Re: EPing-- we'll see. I sort of want to figure out what the problem is before I decide. I do hate pumping, but I feel like I want LO to have as much bm as I can give her. And if it turns out she's just allergic to dairy I'm pretty sure I can stick it out without hating life (too much lol) until she's 6mo. If she's allergic to soy or other stuff, or if my supply keeps dropping (it's gone from 17-18 oz/day to 13oz/day over the course of this drama.. guessing stress and/or lack of sleep bc LO was STTN and now she's up a lot) I'll probably be done. I'm not going to change my whole food life and spend that much time pumping for 8 oz/day! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yet-another-update-to-our-feeding-issues-and-why-i-hate-some-doctors#post-1823875 Tue, 19 Aug 2014 15:12:55 +0000 Anagram 1823875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: just to clarify--if you wanted to pump and were enjoying it, I would tell you that it's totally doable and offer what I know. But I feel like you aren't enjoying it ( totally understandable....most people wouldn't like EPing AND having to restrict their diets long term) and you know I've been through it, and I don't notice any difference between the FF and the BF kids in our mommy group and EPing and doing the diet take more time and effort. =) =) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yet-another-update-to-our-feeding-issues-and-why-i-hate-some-doctors#post-1823870 Tue, 19 Aug 2014 15:10:48 +0000 Anagram 1823870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: Just your original post and then your last update. First, the doctor: Well, I'm sorry he was a dickhead, and yes...he sounds like a total dickhead. My first doctor was pretty dismissive for a while, like 4-6 weeks (it's been so long now, I can't remember) and also kind of made me feel like I was imagining my problems with LO. And my mother and sister, bless their hearts, also thought that maybe my LO just "needed to be away from mommy" to eat well. My mom had 6 kids and owned a large daycare for over a decade, and my sister is a child/family therapist with two kids of her own. Well, I let them both have at her--for almost a whole day, I let each of them try to feed her....and surprise, surprise...my LO wouldn't drink a bottle--at all--from either one of them. ALLLLL Day. I finally had to put her to sleep and feed her the only way she would eat, and then they finally "got it".</p> <p>SEVERAL people told me "babies won't let themselves starve." And I agree----normal babies will not let themselves starve. But a baby with a feeding issue is another animal entirely. </p> <p>Anyway, I'm so glad you are seeing an improvement in her eating today! Stick with the nutragimen and MSPI diet!</p> <p>Also, having EPd and done the MSPI diet for a long time now (LO is over 13 month) I think that you're probably better off switching to formula, as far as stress is concerned. With pumping, you already aren't getting the "bonding" part of breastfeeding and you're actually taking time away from your baby to pump. I did it because I had a really great supply and then I waited so long to try formula, my baby wouldn't take it--but if I'd struggled with low supply I would have given it up.</p> <p>The only benefit I can see to doing the MSPI diet long term is that you are already educated about safe food options when your LO starts finger foods. You won't have any trouble thinking of meals for LO because you'll have been doing them for yourself for many months.</p> <p>But that probably doesn't outweigh the freedom you'd get eating some ice cream when you're down about something. ;-) haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yet-another-update-to-our-feeding-issues-and-why-i-hate-some-doctors#post-1823852 Tue, 19 Aug 2014 14:53:53 +0000 Mae 1823852@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So since I posted this she has willingly eaten like a normal baby twice in a row !!!! This is our best stretch yet since all this started. Not counting any chickens but really hoping things are turning around as they seem to be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yet-another-update-to-our-feeding-issues-and-why-i-hate-some-doctors#post-1823690 Tue, 19 Aug 2014 13:52:04 +0000 twodoghouse 1823690@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry about your frustrating appointment and the way you were treated by the dr. As if it's not stressful enough and then you hear that? Ugh. It sounds like you've gotten some good suggestions here though. My friend whose son was MSPI went to Elecare and pumped for about 6 months. He eventually outgrew his sensitivities (after age 1) and she was able to give him her frozen milk. So if you do keep up pumping hopefully it will get used even if Fia needs time before she can take it! Good luck!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yet-another-update-to-our-feeding-issues-and-why-i-hate-some-doctors#post-1823578 Tue, 19 Aug 2014 12:55:26 +0000 skipra 1823578@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: So sorry the appointment didn't go as well as you hoped. I didn't see this update when I commented on the May thread. At least you are seeing some improvement! Hope she continues to eat better with the diet and formula changes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yet-another-update-to-our-feeding-issues-and-why-i-hate-some-doctors#post-1823562 Tue, 19 Aug 2014 12:50:04 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1823562@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: sure. The gold standard is the pH probe. Otherwise we diagnose clinically.. If someone was recommending a Nissen to me, I'd ask for a pH probe first. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yet-another-update-to-our-feeding-issues-and-why-i-hate-some-doctors#post-1823549 Tue, 19 Aug 2014 12:46:09 +0000 Mae 1823549@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: I already EP so it isn't really extra work for me to just freeze rather than feed if we go that route! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yet-another-update-to-our-feeding-issues-and-why-i-hate-some-doctors#post-1823485 Tue, 19 Aug 2014 12:19:47 +0000 MamaMoose 1823485@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: Since you're supplementing already my suggestion would be to go to 100% nutriamgen for at least a week and see how she does. It takes a long time for dairy and soy to leave your system and as Mrs Jacks pointed out there could be other less common intolerances at play (I had to totally eliminate dairy, soy, wheat, eggs, nuts and shellfish). Doing all nutrimgen will at least give you a more reliable answer as to whether or not allergies are part of the problem. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yet-another-update-to-our-feeding-issues-and-why-i-hate-some-doctors#post-1823484 Tue, 19 Aug 2014 12:19:25 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1823484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: I know that's a ridiculously huge commitment, but I know so many of my patients' mamas who wish they could go back after the fact. Just pump enough to keep a small supply that you could build back up if you need to :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yet-another-update-to-our-feeding-issues-and-why-i-hate-some-doctors#post-1823476 Tue, 19 Aug 2014 12:15:16 +0000 Mae 1823476@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: It does. Maybe if I don't see more improvement in the next 2 weeks I'll try just giving her formula and pump and freeze for 2 weeks to see if there is improvement with that or not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yet-another-update-to-our-feeding-issues-and-why-i-hate-some-doctors#post-1823466 Tue, 19 Aug 2014 12:11:05 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1823466@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: there are a few ways to figure out what the sensitivity is. Remember that these aren't true allergies, just intolerances due to an immature gut. (See my blog post on MSPI). I simplified my diet and then noted fussy, screaming, bloody stool episodes with certain foods. It was so clear cut for us that there was no doubt. Some do a total elimination diet and then add things back (you can google it) and some just skip to formula. I wanted to stick to breat feeding, and my daughter refused all formula, so switching wasn't an option for me.</p> <p>I will tell you that many people switch and then find out that it wasn't an intolerance at all and nothing gets better and they've lost their milk... So if you do switch, I'd keep pumping until you know the formula has helped. Does that make sense?</p> <p>There's so much more to talk about, but it's hard to type it all out on the phone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yet-another-update-to-our-feeding-issues-and-why-i-hate-some-doctors#post-1823462 Tue, 19 Aug 2014 12:07:19 +0000 Mae 1823462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: I think I'm just nervous about (apparently) continuing to look like an over nervous mother dragging her kid around for testing for a problem she doesn't have. So I'm trying to walk a line between advocating for what I feel in my gut to be true and not being SO pushy that (more) doctors start ignoring me for being "that mom." And the children's hospital here seems to be pretty good about getting people in quickly. The referral for this doc went through Wednesday and our appointment was today... so less than a week is pretty good I think. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yet-another-update-to-our-feeding-issues-and-why-i-hate-some-doctors#post-1823460 Tue, 19 Aug 2014 12:05:59 +0000 spaniellove 1823460@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow...that is just. If he wanted to say "I don't think it's reflux" he could have said that and not the rest because it's frustrating enough. I'm so bummed for you that you weren't able to get helpful answers there, but hopefully the Prevacid helps. </p> <p>@Mrs. Jacks: Can I ask what is used then to diagnose reflux for sure? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yet-another-update-to-our-feeding-issues-and-why-i-hate-some-doctors#post-1823457 Tue, 19 Aug 2014 12:04:26 +0000 blackbird 1823457@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mae, that's what i was thinking--that your ped thought it was a problem but this ped GI guy thought no. Maybe she'll chat with you about it over the phone....after all, you can always cancel the specialist appt in a week or two, but they may not be able to get you in right away. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yet-another-update-to-our-feeding-issues-and-why-i-hate-some-doctors#post-1823455 Tue, 19 Aug 2014 12:02:59 +0000 Mae 1823455@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: I want to give it a week or two to just see if the prevacid and my continued diet solves the problem. But I think if I don't see any more improvement in 2 weeks or if she starts regressing again I will probably call our ped and see what she thinks or if she can refer us to someone else. Because she did try to feed Fiona and felt strongly there was a medical problem so I think she'll be surprised that the pediatric gi guy sort of blew us off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yet-another-update-to-our-feeding-issues-and-why-i-hate-some-doctors#post-1823452 Tue, 19 Aug 2014 12:01:39 +0000 blackbird 1823452@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Could you go back to the ped you like for a second referral for a second opinion?.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yet-another-update-to-our-feeding-issues-and-why-i-hate-some-doctors#post-1823448 Tue, 19 Aug 2014 11:56:17 +0000 Mae 1823448@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@swedishfish: I feel like there has been improvement over the last week that she has been on nutramigen and I have been off dairy/soy. That is why I feel like we are on the right path here. And he did say if it IS an allergy that it can take 2-3 weeks to really see full improvement. So I am so hopeful that in the next week or two this will all just work itself out. </p> <p>@Mrs. Jacks: thanks for chiming in. He said that he wants to see us again in 6 weeks and if at that point we haven't sen improvement he MAY refer us to a speech therapist (I think??) who does feeding therapy but that he didn't want to do that now because he thinks that they sometimes put too much emphasis on the problem and make it worse and he really thinks if I just calm down and stop worrying about it, it will go away (??). </p> <p>I definitely don't feel like we've fully explored possible allergy/intolerance foods at all. Our first pediatrician wouldn't even consider that it might be an allergy. Our second pediatrician (who I love) was sort of surprised I hadn't already tried an elimination diet and told me I could just start with milk if I wanted-- but it seemed like I might as well do all dairy and soy since those seem to be the biggest 2 and see if that helps (and like I said-- I feel like there has been some improvement over the last few days so I'm encouraged). How do you figure out the full spectrum of what all she could be allergic to? Also, if she is allergic to a ton of stuff-- would she do better on formula (right now she is on nutramigen)? My supply has been going down with increased stress and lack of sleep (she's up at night bc she isn't eating right during the day) and at this point I'm getting like 13oz/day so once she is eating normal amounts half her food will be formula anyways. I sort of feel like if she's allergic to 4 or 5 things I'd rather just put her on formula so I don't have to live in fear of eating the wrong thing and setting off another episode of food refusal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yet-another-update-to-our-feeding-issues-and-why-i-hate-some-doctors#post-1823434 Tue, 19 Aug 2014 11:42:18 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1823434@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry. Some doctors aren't able to explain in a way that is sympathetic. That doc is right though, we don't diagnose reflux from an upper GI. We have really tightened up our definitions of what is reflux as well.</p> <p>Did you ask for a referral to the local feeding and nutrition clinic? Usually found at the local free-standing Children's Hospital. If s/he thinks it's a behavioral thing, then they should definitely refer you for that.</p> <p>Do you feel like you have identified all the intolerance inducing foods and eliminate them? If it is intolerance, there may be something that's still setting her off.</p> <p>For us it was dairy, soy, sesame, egg and nuts. It was hard for me to eat anything! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yet-another-update-to-our-feeding-issues-and-why-i-hate-some-doctors#post-1823431 Tue, 19 Aug 2014 11:40:26 +0000 swedishfish 1823431@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you seen improvement since F has been on Nutramigen? Maybe she needs Neocate? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/yet-another-update-to-our-feeding-issues-and-why-i-hate-some-doctors#post-1823426 Tue, 19 Aug 2014 11:37:16 +0000 Mae 1823426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So our (new) ped made referrals for us to have an upper gi series done yesterday and meet with a pediatric gi doctor today. </p> <p>The GI series went really well yesterday-- she did great and didn't even cry! I was so happy it wasn't traumatic for her at all. The doctor that performed the X-rays (they had an actual doc in addition to a tech) said her anatomy looked normal but she definitely could see that she had reflux. So I was encouraged that we might be closing in on a definitive diagnosis for her feeding refusal. </p> <p>Then we saw the pediatric GI today and... ugh. Basically he said that because she isn't spitting up and vomiting MORE than she is (she does but not enough apparently) and because she's a happy baby it isn't reflux. Or if it is, it is mild. Despite what the doctor yesterday said. He was like "oh well the babies scream during that test and they always reflux." And I told him she didn't scream, didn't even whimper! And he was like "well regardless I don't consider that diagnostic.</p> <p>He was also unconvinced that it was an allergy. He didn't say why though. </p> <p>He said that he thinks this is behavioral and that she is just traumatized about feeding and I'm so anxious about her eating that she's feeding off of my energy and refusing to eat. Or something. I mean he didn't come out and say it was my fault-- but the gist of it is that this is a parental behavior problem and not a medical problem. </p> <p>Despite the fact that there was no event that precipitated her refusing to eat. And the fact that I had 0 anxiety about her refusing to eat before she refused to eat (duh). He just kept making all these "pat you on the head" comments about me being a first time mom and being anxious and how it's not "my fault" but that these "feeding behaviors you're using" (i.e. trying to feed her because she has to eat bc babies need food...) are the issue. But he also admitted he'd "hardly ever seen this before" and that there just isn't really a clear answer. Ugh. </p> <p>The good news is I pushed him on the reflux and he did prescribe prevacid for us to try (since the zantac doesn't seem to be doing much). And he said I can go ahead and keep her on the nutramigen and stay on my dairy/soy free diet for now to see if there is improvement. And I have seem some improvement in the last week since we went dairy/soy free (which he dismissed as irrelevant..?). </p> <p>So I'm really hopeful that with new meds and staying on this diet we'll have fixed the problem (which I feel in my gut is reflux + maybe an allergy) regardless of whether he believes there is a problem beyond her crazy neurotic mother. </p> <p>But just-- ugh. I feel like Ive heard people here talk about, and read other articles online, with similar behavior in babies and it is always reflux and/or allergies. And yes it is uncommon for those things to present as feeding refusal. But that doesn't mean it is impossible and it doesn't mean that those babies just wake up one day and decide not to eat for no good reason. And I'm frustrated that he totally just brushed me off like I"m just a crazy neurotic first time mom who spends too much time googling. Especially because our new pediatrician is so wonderful and tried herself to feed Fiona (which he didn't want to do) and she-- a trained pediatrician-- said she is certain this is not normal and she truly believed that Fiona was in pain while eating she just wasn't quite sure why. </p> <p>So there is my update/rant. Again, I do feel we've had some improvement in the last week since I went off dairy/soy-- and we're also getting some stronger reflux meds. So I feel like there is a good chance we'll see continued improvements and a solution to our problem here in the next week or two. I'm just grateful for HB and the women here for pushing me to check these things out and sharing their experiences because I think otherwise I'd just believe these doctors who admit they haven't really seen this before but are just sure this isn't reflux or an allergy. Harumph. </p>