https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 22 Apr 2026 00:08:27 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-are-small#post-1135563 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 10:00:50 +0000 erwoo 1135563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aww...kids can be so mean without knowing it, especially the younger ones. I don't think it would hurt to bring it up to her teacher and see what she/he has to say about it. And either ask for her advice or maybe even ask to offer your advice that would best fit her personality because you know her best. </p> <p>I'm sure she will grow up fine just like her mommy though! Sometimes a little teasing will toughen some kids up! It did for me even when it sucked at the time. I was always the ONLY Chinese girl in my school for a very long time. Kids were mean and some teased me for having smaller eyes (mine aren't small by any means if you compare it to other Asian women) by pulling their eyes from the outside so it's smaller. Some even went as far as teasing me about speaking a different language even if my English was perfect. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-are-small#post-1135525 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 09:45:36 +0000 purrpletulips 1135525@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd bring it up with the teachers and give the example of how Lala mentioned it to you. That way you and the teachers can discuss how to proceed in handling this as it has clearly impacted her enough that she brought it up to you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-are-small#post-1135498 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 09:36:39 +0000 looch 1135498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: That's awesome, someone else on the planet that sees the pants issue the same way! Yahooo! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-are-small#post-1135491 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 09:34:47 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1135491@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: and add to that it's ok-ish for girls to be short but short boys are really really stigmatized! (and I'm your same height and have the same clothes issue). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-are-small#post-1135396 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 09:04:35 +0000 looch 1135396@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: I despise those yearbook categories and all the popularity contests in high school, I never understood the appeal of the homecoming court, but maybe it's because I was struggling with my own physical insecurities? No idea!</p> <p>I wasn't tall, I am 5'4" and I would love to either be 2 inches shorter so I could properly wear the petite size or 2 inches taller so I could wear regular length pants without hemming! I do think there's even a second dimension to what you posted above, that it's okay for boys to be tall, but tall girls are often singled out as well (as are short boys, where it's okay for a girl to be petite). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-are-small#post-1135300 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 08:29:24 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1135300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. wagon: you probably did. It's a random thing in my family, but there is legend of my grandpa growing a foot when he joined the army!</p> <p>@looch: I know your son is facing struggles too, with unrealistic expectations... But you may not realize that tall is often seen as a virtue while short is seen as a defect. I usually see your comments as spot on, so I am fully aware that some of this is just the perspective of what I went through as a kid ;)</p> <p>Her class is a 3-5 class, and I think most of them will know what mighty is, but if they don't, she is very capable of defining it an we practiced that too. </p> <p>Anyway, I'm just randomly musing at this point and probably working out my own crap.</p> <p>This morning I was reflecting on the forgotten story of how for eight grade yearbook we vote for "bests" and they were things like most likely to succeed etc. there wer no other physical descriptors chosen except for shortest an o course that's what I got. I complained to the teacher and it turns out I also won most likely to succeed, but the teacher decided to give that to someone else. After I complained she changed it and then bullied me until I allowed her to change it back. It's hard for an eighth grader stand up to a grown person! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-are-small#post-1135252 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 08:12:31 +0000 Honeybee 1135252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you should definitely talk to the teacher during conferences! I'd think the teacher would want to know about what's going on in her classroom, and it seems like this situation could be easily monitored so it doesn't evolve into something more.</p> <p>We also read a book a week or two ago called... Collywobble; I think it would fit this situation well, if you wanted to look for it at the library. :) small IS mighty! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-are-small#post-1135232 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 08:02:49 +0000 mrs. wagon 1135232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wagon Sr. is not a tall man, and has always been the shortest of his friends since around high school. And I grew up very very small, but had several growth spurts in high school and now I'm pretty tall for an asian girl. So we both have slight complexes about being small, and Wagon Jr. is pretty short. Definitely the smallest in his class right now (and also one of the youngest). We haven't really come across any issues yet but my attitude for him is "it doesn't matter how small you are, all that matters is that you act like the big boy that you are". He is still really young though, not even 4 yet, so I know questions will come soon about why he's not tall like the other boys, especially when he starts playing sports.</p> <p>I would absolutely bring it up at the conference because it's a concern that you have, especially about how she interacts with other kids in the classroom. I think it's totally appropriate so that you and the teachers can work together on making it a non-issue for her in her everyday life. </p> <p>I wonder if I also had constitutional growth delay...!! Never heard of that before. Always assumed I was just small because I was asian... and that my growth spurts were just a fluke and I'm randomly tall now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-are-small#post-1135183 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 07:33:56 +0000 looch 1135183@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was trying to think of how I would handle it if my son were in the situation and I really struggled with it! He's on the other side of things, he's tall for his age and it often results in people having unrealistic expectations of his capabilities, especially at the playground.</p> <p>I would try instead to redirect to the fact that there are big and small things in the world and that's how it is supposed to be. It wouldn't be any fun if everything were all the same size. Sometimes, kids say things as a statement of fact, my son does this all the time and he doesn't mean it as an insult. He's also 34 months, and I honestly don't think he would understand what the comeback of "mighty" means. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-are-small#post-1135093 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 05:44:23 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1135093@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sapphiresun: oh my, the duct tape tradition must been terrifying for anyone picked. I can't believe how the administration thought that was a good idea.</p> <p>@Mrs. Jacks: :sad: at your experience, but "I am mighty" is a great come back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-are-small#post-1135087 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 05:33:48 +0000 808love 1135087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Petite is sweet! I think bringing it up with the teacher could be a good idea...Something along the lines about how to NOT make it an issue. I love that you gave her words to say to empower herself above her stature. </p> <p>I was the shortest in my grade in fifth grade and I didn't appreciate being teased about liking the smallest boy in the grade. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-are-small#post-1134950 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 20:52:31 +0000 Sapphiresun 1134950@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was always the shortest in my class up until grade 7 when I was in a 6/7 split. Then I was second shortest.<br /> I think mentioning it to the teacher is a good idea, and I like that you've given her an idea of a response when kids mention it. My mom taught me to tell people "Good things come in small packages".</p> <p>In grade 8, my mom had to go to the principal and ask that I NOT be selected as the freshman selected to be duct taped to the wall during the pep rally to see if I could hang there the whole time, because I was PETRIFIED that it was going to happen. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-are-small#post-1134945 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 20:47:54 +0000 Maysprout 1134945@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds like you would feel better bringing it up. The teacher has probably watched this happen in other classes too so might have some ideas. I wouldn't worry about being high maintenance unless you just say 'boo kids are calling my daughter short - make it stop', but that doesn't sound like you. Sounds more like you want to brainstorm ideas with the teacher on how to make sure lala feels secure, which I think most teachers will understand. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-are-small#post-1134905 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 20:15:40 +0000 yellowbird 1134905@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: :((( Kids can be so cruel. Bullying and negativity like that is definitely one of my worst parenting fears, so I definitely see where you are coming from. Luckily Lala has a very aware mama and she will be well protected. I love your I'm mighty response. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-are-small#post-1134890 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 19:59:01 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1134890@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlek: Well aside from a pretty profound growth delay which would have made me the smallest for my normal grade, I also skipped grades which made everything worse.</p> <p>By current standards I would have been in a car seat through eighth grade. How humiliating would that be?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-are-small#post-1134884 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 19:54:48 +0000 littlek 1134884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: wow, that sounds awful. I'm sorry you went through that. I was never bullied due to my height. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-are-small#post-1134879 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 19:52:13 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1134879@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlek: @deerylou: I'm glad to hear that a few didn't have the negative experiences I did with shrimp, small fry, shortie and other names. I also didn't like being packed around like an infant or being thrown in garbage cans at school. I remember cutting the tags out of my clothes so they couldn't heckle me for wearing "baby clothes" anymore and hiding my weight at all costs (30lbs in third grade). All around not a positive experience for me until high school and by that point the damage was done.</p> <p>Of course we would never allow it to get that out of hand if we knew... But I'm absolutely sure that my parents had no idea because I kept it to myself out of humiliaition. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-are-small#post-1134759 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 18:45:21 +0000 deerylou 1134759@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was a very small child, and am often confused for a fifth grader at the elementary school I work at (okay, so that's mostly a joke amongst my very well meaning coworkers). I genuinely never internalized the 'small' comments in a negative way, and was actually quite proud of the fact that I was "fun sized". I remember my mom bought me a few books about heroic, strong characters that also happened to be rather small creatures (mice, chipmunks, etc). I love your "I'm mighty!" suggestion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-are-small#post-1134751 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 18:39:21 +0000 littlek 1134751@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was always the shortest girl and class and my last name was "small." Insert any joke here. So, I was teased my whole life. My parents never said anything and it never bothered me. In fact, people think little girls are adorable and I loved the attention. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-are-small#post-1134724 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 18:08:30 +0000 JennyG 1134724@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: I think your suggestion is great. :wink: </p> <p>As a teacher, I would definitely tell you to talk to the teacher. The teacher doesn't have to make a big deal about it, but can be aware and try to make sure situations like @T.H.O.U. Mentioned don't happen. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-are-small#post-1134723 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 18:07:15 +0000 lilteacherbee 1134723@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was always teeny tiny (now I'm only 5' even) and I remember it being really annoying when other girls would try to pick me up all the time or make me the "baby" when playing house or whatever.</p> <p>I love the "I'm mighty!" response! If you think you should talk to the teachers, I would. As a pre-k teacher, I've dealt with this before. I make sure all the kids take turns with roles such as being the "baby" and I tell them that we are all "big kids", so no one should be trying to carry around other children. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-are-small#post-1134718 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 18:06:13 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1134718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: Thank you for that excellent point. It highlights exactly why I was hesitant to bring it up... Is this my stuff or hers? But she brought it up in the context of "Mama, all the kids say I'm small. I'm not small, babies are small."</p> <p>So I'm afraid the negative reference has already been made without my help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-are-small#post-1134715 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 18:01:31 +0000 Cherrybee 1134715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would add that at this age small doesn't bring with it any associations, good or bad. It is therefore essential that you don't make too big a deal of it. They say kids can be cruel but mostly they are just observant and Layla is smaller than them right now so they will comment. Its up to you and Laylas teachers to make sure she doesn't start seeing this as a negative thing, by making a massive deal of it. I like the idea of talking to the teachers (and @T.H.O.U.: gives a good example as to why) but please don't be the one to make the connection between small and negative feelings, when its what you are trying to prevent - I know you must have tons of feelings left over from when you were a child but this doesn't have to be laylas experience. </p> <p>Or you could b1tch-slap any kid who mentions it. That's what Id do!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-are-small#post-1134707 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 17:51:35 +0000 T.H.O.U. 1134707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My niece dealt with this. They did talk to the teachers. When the kids would play "house" they always would make her be the baby. The teacher was able to watch for it and make sure everyone got a turn to be all the family member a. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-are-small#post-1134706 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 17:50:54 +0000 Lindsay05 1134706@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would definitely bring it up! I like the "I'm mighty" response :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-are-small#post-1134702 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 17:48:20 +0000 fairy 1134702@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely don't think it's high maintenance of you to bring it up, that's a good idea :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-are-small#post-1134701 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 17:45:03 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1134701@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Several kids in Lala's class have begun to comment on how small she is. She was measured today at the doctor's office and she's 2 ft 11 inches... Less than 2 nd percentile, so yeah really short. BUT... I don't really want her to internalize that as her self- image, especially since her adult height trajectory is likely to be normal (she has constitutional growth delay).</p> <p>I've taught her to respond to this comment with "I'm mighty!" which should help some, but I'm wondering if I should bring it up with her teachers at parent- teacher next week or if that's too high maintenance of me?</p> <p>You may think it is no big deal, but I also had constitutional growth delay and was the smallest kid in school and all the comments really did start to make me feel small and insecure over the years. I know I can't totally protect her, but I feel like the focus on one physical attribute can be demeaning (whether that be small, fat, tall, skinny or something else).</p> <p>What do you think? </p>