https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 03 Jul 2026 19:43:20 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-just-made-me-really-sad#post-2335476 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 11:01:00 +0000 LuLu Mom 2335476@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>EVERYTIME I try to correct her behavior. "mommy you hurt my heart when you tell me no" and then cries. Or "now you just made me sad/mad again mommy" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-just-made-me-really-sad#post-2335473 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 10:58:18 +0000 mrs. wagon 2335473@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wagon Jr. is also very sensitive and tends to go straight to tears, so we run into this all the time. I like to compartmentalize the issues and emotions, and address them one by one. The first thing I do recognize his emotions: I tell him I understand that he's sad and upset, and it's okay to feel that way, but it's not okay to cry and he has to do his best to calm down so we can talk about the situation. Once he's calm enough, I then address the disobedience or willfulness and the fact that it's unacceptable, and the reasons why. Then after we've both established that what he was doing was unacceptable and that he's sorry, I comfort him and tell him that I'm sorry he's so upset. Once we're in a good place emotionally, I then talk about next steps: what could we both do differently next time to prevent this from happening again? </p> <p>Sounds so formal and formulaic! But it works for us and it helps BOTH of us come away from situations feeling 100% good about what happened.</p> <p>ETA: Just wanted to add a disclaimer that Wagon Jr. is 5 (almost 6), and this does NOT work on LMW who is 3. Haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-just-made-me-really-sad#post-2335449 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 10:48:00 +0000 regberadaisy 2335449@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup, whenever we say no to something she will say "aw, that makes me sad.". It's probably because we say that when she's being bad! LOL </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-just-made-me-really-sad#post-2335378 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 10:16:26 +0000 Greentea 2335378@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that sounds kind!</p> <p>I'd probably be like, "That's okay if it makes you sad. (Or I'm sorry that makes you sad.) Sometimes it's sad not to be able to just do anything we want, but we can't do danger." "I'm here to keep you safe." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-just-made-me-really-sad#post-2335374 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 10:15:42 +0000 sorrycharlie 2335374@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>oh gosh. all the time lately. if she gets in trouble she says "I'm going to run away now!" and runs into her room. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-just-made-me-really-sad#post-2335367 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 10:13:21 +0000 Alivoo01 2335367@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS is 2 and will tattle on his daddy to me saying "baba mean to me". It makes DH so sad and mad because it's not completely true! I explain the situation to DS and he goes about his way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-just-made-me-really-sad#post-2335363 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 10:11:11 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2335363@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I don't think comforting is bad! Some kids have lots of feels ;) C does the same thing. If I just mirror his emotion "i can tell you feel frustrated, you sound upset" etc, usually he just vents it out and moves on. I think in this situation I would probably just say "I am sorry that rule makes you sad, but I can't let you do that. It isn't safe. Would you like a hug?" and leave it at that. Sounds like what you are doing :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-just-made-me-really-sad#post-2335349 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 10:03:01 +0000 Mamaof2 2335349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I usually tell her I'm sorry I made you sad - I asked you to do xyz and you didn't listen. Then I ask if she needs a hug , she says yes and then its done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-just-made-me-really-sad#post-2335342 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 10:00:15 +0000 mrbee 2335342@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lion: Yah but my daughter just has so many feels! She gets super sad and so we talk about it and she moves on. Was just wondering if it's bad for me to comfort her! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-just-made-me-really-sad#post-2335334 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 09:56:52 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2335334@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: have you read any of janet lansbury's stuff about letting kids feel their feelings? I really struggle with this too but she has really helped me learn how to not take their feelings personally &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-just-made-me-really-sad#post-2335311 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 09:41:00 +0000 lovehoneybee 2335311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, that's his line right now. They've been working on how to verbally express feelings at school, so when I do something he doesn't like he says "Mommy you made me sad." (Or, more annoyingly, I'm CONSTANTLY getting asked "Mommy are you sad?" about EVERYTHING. </p> <p>My response to him telling me he's sad is to ask him to tell me why he's sad.<br /> "Mommy you made me sad"<br /> "How did I make you sad?"<br /> "You made me sad when you took my truck away"<br /> "Why did I take your truck away?"<br /> "You told me to put it away at the table..."<br /> "I did ask you to put it away until after dinner. I'm sorry that made you sad, but you didn't listen to Mommy, and that made *me* sad. It's important to listen to Mommy/Daddy/Oma when we ask you to do something"</p> <p>He responds well to talking about it like this. I acknowledge and don't brush off his feelings, but I also explain exactly why I did what I did. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-just-made-me-really-sad#post-2335310 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 09:39:42 +0000 yoursilverlining 2335310@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. Pretty much anytime she hears the word no, LO tells me I "made her sad" or (even worse!) that "you broke my heart mama". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-just-made-me-really-sad#post-2335298 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 09:32:41 +0000 mrbee 2335298@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamaof2: What do you do when she says it? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-just-made-me-really-sad#post-2335296 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 09:30:22 +0000 Mamaof2 2335296@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS has never said that but DD says it all the time!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-just-made-me-really-sad#post-2335207 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 08:40:19 +0000 mrbee 2335207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter likes to climb up on our window sill and hold the curtain while she jumps down onto the couch. She did it just this morning, so I told her not to do that and her face crumpled. Then the tears started, and she said, "Daddy, you just made me really sad when you said those words!"</p> <p>I've noticed my kids have been playing the "you made me sad" card more lately. I usually comfort them but then afterward, repeat that they shouldn't be doing that and they agree. But I feel bad that the kids are crying. And I wonder if comforting them is undermining my parenting... I hope not!</p> <p>Do your kids ever tell you that you just made them really sad? </p>