https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 29 May 2026 00:02:40 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/3#post-2697920 Wed, 15 Feb 2017 01:24:59 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2697920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: you did not offend me at all! I get where you're coming from! :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/3#post-2697880 Tue, 14 Feb 2017 21:51:46 +0000 irene 2697880@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wrkbrk: @Bao: @ShootingStar: @Greentea: @2littlepumpkins: My sincere apologies for my poor choice of words. I am so sorry if I offended you in any way.... it is not my intent :heart: All I am trying (and failed) to say is, personally I am not capable of having more than 1 child.... That's all. And that's to answer the OP question based on my very own personality / personal situation. I am not saying anyone is "sacrificing who they are" if you have more than 2 kids. No that 's NOT what I am saying at all. It is too long to elaborate and I am sure if I try then I'll offend more people so let's just leave it at that. I am so sorry. Love and kisses :heart: :heart: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/3#post-2697817 Tue, 14 Feb 2017 18:51:44 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2697817@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know that I would use the word sacrifice but I would definitely say I'm not the same person I would be without kids, for better or worse. Every time I'm without my kids it's the first thing people ask me about. I can see that. @irene: @Greentea: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/3#post-2697793 Tue, 14 Feb 2017 17:46:06 +0000 Greentea 2697793@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: I get what you are saying. DH and I have DEFINITELY had to sacrifice a lot.</p> <p>Eta: not who I am! (Who I am isn't sacrificed, I meant career-wise, but even that might not be true, because LOs have motivated me to work harder and my career is blossoming, I just get that taking on more kids is a lot... A lot to deal with and a lot of work, and sometimes I wonder where I'd be career-wise...) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/3#post-2697792 Tue, 14 Feb 2017 17:42:58 +0000 ShootingStar 2697792@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: For what it's worth, I have two kids and I don't think I've sacrificed "who I am" at all. I may have sacrificed other things like sleeping in as long as I want and expensive vacations, but who I am is still pretty much the same. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/3#post-2697723 Tue, 14 Feb 2017 15:03:21 +0000 Bao 2697723@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: it sounds like (from a lot of other threads) you snap at your LO a lot, is there any way you could get some sort of help to give you a break? Maybe someone could get him out to the park for you once in a while? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/3#post-2697600 Tue, 14 Feb 2017 12:49:35 +0000 wrkbrk 2697600@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: DW and I both feel the same, FWIW. Like, with one kid, we can (eventually) get back to who we were pre-DS. With two plus it will either take a LOT longer or just not happen at all ... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/3#post-2697488 Tue, 14 Feb 2017 10:03:06 +0000 irene 2697488@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oliviaoblivia: I am sure you didn't... just that as pathetic as it is, my work is a huge part of me, and to me, I should have already cut down work by a lot even right now (and I only have one child). DH didn't literally say the words but he feels the same. I think he doesn't want me to work at all because I am not capable to juggle a lot of things together and balance it mentally and physically at the same time. I have quite a few things on my plate and I was working over the weekend. I was stressed and I snapped at DS very unreasonably 3 times on Sunday. It made him cry. I feel like a terrible person and if I wasn't working so much, that wouldn't have happened and we would have been out in the park or something. You know what I mean? That's why I think I am unfit to have more kids that's all. Anyhoo.... I just need to find a way to become a better mom :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/3#post-2697475 Tue, 14 Feb 2017 09:43:21 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2697475@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: I wouldn't say I've sacrificed who I am at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/3#post-2697460 Tue, 14 Feb 2017 09:34:37 +0000 josina 2697460@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Personally I think I'd like one more, but DH is ready to be done. We have one boy and will have a girl anyday now. DH has a 14 yr old daughter as well who lives with us during the school year.<br /> DH's main reason for wanting to be done is the worry, he is terrified something will happen to one of our kids and can't deal with the anxiety of adding another.</p> <p>Other reasons why we should be done- financially we will be stretched really thin, paying for 2 in daycare, a car for the oldest one, college coming SOON. Our home fits our family of 5 but anymore and we need to put more $$ in it. If we did have another we'd have to wait until DS is out of daycare and that puts me over 36 with more to worry about. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/3#post-2697405 Tue, 14 Feb 2017 07:44:20 +0000 milano14 2697405@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've just made the decision to be done at 2. I've always wanted 3, DH is in the 2-3 camp. But after a tough loss with baby #3 a year ago I can't put myself through the chance of that happening again. I'm also not getting any younger. I'm coming to terms with the fact that our angel baby was our baby #3. We are so blessed with the 2 boys that we do have that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/3#post-2697400 Tue, 14 Feb 2017 06:49:37 +0000 delight 2697400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Trying to get to number two took a couple years and some tough loss for us. I don't think we could go through that again. We are so blessed to have DD and DS, I think we are done. Plus delivering DS breech was no picnic and I am not sure my poor bottom could take anymore trauma. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/2#post-2697327 Mon, 13 Feb 2017 21:05:07 +0000 irene 2697327@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>#1 reason is DH is not on board with having any more kids. He wasn't even ok with having kids to begin with. #2 reason is, I really don't think I am a super mom kind either.... being a mom of two and more kids are super moms and you sacrifice a lot of who you are and what you do, I am not capable of that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/2#post-2697263 Mon, 13 Feb 2017 18:16:26 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2697263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I want a fourth but my DH is content with three right now. I think we're in a good groove and he's afraid of upsetting the balance.<br /> I worry about my age and not having a healthy baby. We've been so blessed to not have any losses and to have healthy kids I feel four could be pushing my luck. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/2#post-2697243 Mon, 13 Feb 2017 17:12:30 +0000 Modern Daisy 2697243@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: it is not wrong!! Our oldest has been incredibly difficult since he was born and that is pretty much the main reason we are tapped out with 2! Hats off to people who are better at handling this phase or who had easy kids to begin with and went for #3! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/2#post-2697230 Mon, 13 Feb 2017 17:00:08 +0000 JennyD 2697230@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wrkbrk: thanks. I'm never quite sure how that will be taken ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/2#post-2697200 Mon, 13 Feb 2017 16:22:59 +0000 wrkbrk 2697200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyD: I love your response! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/2#post-2697198 Mon, 13 Feb 2017 16:22:33 +0000 wrkbrk 2697198@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: This. Could not agree more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/2#post-2697112 Mon, 13 Feb 2017 14:37:20 +0000 LindsayLou 2697112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are most likely done after our second baby is born this fall. My husband also has an 11 year old son. Our number one reason is finances. Another baby would bring us to the breaking point on house size, and our cars would be very tight as well. I currently bring my daughter to work with me as a nanny, and can continue to do that with one more. But three of my own would be too much for me to handle with work. And we can't afford 3 in daycare and don't want to go that route. My heart wants 3, but it's not the logical, practical choice for our family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/2#post-2697050 Mon, 13 Feb 2017 13:41:27 +0000 anonysquire 2697050@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not sure what's next for us. I want more kids but I'm kind of scared because it seems like my body kicks the babies out earlier and earlier. So I am sure I won't be able to deliver at a birthing center again. And still don't like hospitals. We might pursue adoption again in a couple years. But that was crappy for us too. I absolutely feel like my heart is full with my 3 sweet babies already, so 3 could be my magic number! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/2#post-2696995 Mon, 13 Feb 2017 12:17:29 +0000 littlejoy 2696995@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is a really hard question ... I guess the main reason we'll be done after 2 kids is that we've only ever wanted two kids. </p> <p>But, if we lived a different life (like if we lived close to family, didn't have our specific finances, etc.), mayyybbbeeee we'd have more - but it's really hard to speculate since we've been on the 2 kid plan for 5+ years. We literally could not afford 3 kids in daycare, and there wouldn't be room for a 3rd kid in our house. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/2#post-2696990 Mon, 13 Feb 2017 12:11:01 +0000 avivoca 2696990@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Finances is the big one. I'm counting down the days until we are done with double daycare, if we had a third I would have to quit my job. Plus the logistics of having a third (needing a bigger house, a bigger car, and not necessarily getting a bigger paycheck) just boggles me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/2#post-2696982 Mon, 13 Feb 2017 11:58:57 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2696982@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We tell everyone the third was the questionable one. Now that we have 3 we just simply dont have a desire to have more. I used to say that if I had a million dollars I would want more, but now I dont think emotionally even if I had the funds I would want to do that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/2#post-2696966 Mon, 13 Feb 2017 11:36:51 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 2696966@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First is just emotional and not wanting to stretch myself too thin.</p> <p>Second is financial and wanting to have some small luxuries in late adulthood.</p> <p>Third is feeling like the world is just so overpopulated!</p> <p>Fourth is fear of age related pregnancy complications as I get older. My second is in PT for low tone and had a minor birth defect that required surgery so it makes me nervous...</p> <p>We are holding off on three bio kids. Hoping to get permanent birth control this year. Perhaps will adopt a third when my two are in school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/2#post-2696956 Mon, 13 Feb 2017 11:22:53 +0000 lamariniere 2696956@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Desire. I only ever wanted two kids and that's what we have. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/2#post-2696838 Mon, 13 Feb 2017 09:00:04 +0000 cascademom 2696838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our family is complete at 2 kids. Both of us only wanted two kids, regardless of gender. </p> <p>I don't possess the baby fever anymore. I don't miss being pregnant or miss the sleepless nights. We've done all of that. I'm looking forward to the big kid years and independence they'll learn and grow into. I'm cherishing my baby time with our toddler, but having him potty trained would be nice. It's weird. I feel like we're done with the little, little baby phase in life and are headed towards a kindergartner and 2 year old. I'm happy about that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/2#post-2696832 Mon, 13 Feb 2017 08:56:36 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2696832@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm giving myself another year or two to make this final, but most likely we'll be 1 and done. And it's for purely selfish reasons. I wanted this kid more than anything in the world, but I lost a lot of myself and a lot of who husband and I were together in the early day. The newborn/first year experience whacked us hard. We're still climbing out of that, and kiddo is 3.5, so the thought of going through it all again is just not appealing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/2#post-2696830 Mon, 13 Feb 2017 08:52:01 +0000 shellio 2696830@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're working on #4, that will be the last one because I've had C sections and even having 4 seems like too many. Second reason is age, I'll be 39+ if we have another one. And finances play a role. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/2#post-2696775 Mon, 13 Feb 2017 03:07:31 +0000 Pumuckl 2696775@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>After having one more child than we originally planned (both twins (#3 &amp; #4) are now very loved and welcomed) we just feel our family is complete.<br /> My thinking has changed as well. Before I had thoughts like "I'll do this differently with my next pregnancy" etc those thoughts have totally stopped. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-1-reason-for-not-having-more-kids/page/2#post-2696758 Sun, 12 Feb 2017 23:40:37 +0000 CatchAFallingStar 2696758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Still undecided if we want another. We have just 1 daughter now. She's 2. After reading these posts, I'm starting to doubt my recent desires for another!! Ugh...the thought of revisiting sleepless nights! 😩 </p>