https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 11 Apr 2026 02:51:05 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-birth-experience-vs-your-expecations#post-272267 Mon, 27 Aug 2012 12:59:56 +0000 Honeybee 272267@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it took me a little while to get over my first birth experience. I really wanted to go med-free, but I ended up getting an epidural, so for a while I felt like I'd failed in that regard. It took me a few months to come to terms with that and feel ok with getting the epidural.</p> <p>Honestly, I felt great about my second birth. I felt really comfortable and confident, and I had zero guilt about getting an epidural the second time around! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-birth-experience-vs-your-expecations#post-271972 Mon, 27 Aug 2012 09:45:05 +0000 Downward Dog 271972@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In terms of what actually happened, my birth experience was exactly what I was hoping for: med free, no complications. But in terms of the emotional experience and the support I was looking for from other people, I was disappointed. I spent most of time time feeling scared and confused.<br /> But now, when I look back on it, I have very positive feelings about it. It really is hard to remember the bad stuff, and I see the hard things in a more positive light. I think it's true that when you don't have meds, your memory of the pain eventually disappears. When I read natural birth stories, it all sounded amazing and wonderful, and I was surprised when I didn't feel that way at the time. But now I understand because I've started to feel positive about it with some perspective on the experience. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-birth-experience-vs-your-expecations#post-271954 Mon, 27 Aug 2012 09:35:38 +0000 Mrsbells 271954@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hated my birth experience. Nothing went according to plan. I wanted a natural med free birth or atleast the chance to go med free. Instead I had to be induced due to low amniotic fluid + being past my due date. The induction failed and I had to have a c-section and didnt even get to hold my baby til about 30-45 minutes after she was born. I also had a horrible reaction to the spinal and was very itchy for the 1st 24 hours, plus the compression boots and catheter were just awful for me.<br /> Now that I am 4 months post delivery I am able to talk about it much easier and I dont feel bitter per se, I am happy that my baby is here and she is healthy and I am healthy so i thank God for that. But It wasnt my ideal experience at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-birth-experience-vs-your-expecations#post-271907 Mon, 27 Aug 2012 09:08:42 +0000 Shimmer 271907@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We went in with really loose expectations, because anything can happen with multiple birth. The stars aligned and I was able to have a medicated vaginal birth with forceps for my boys 32 hours after I was initiallly induced. I had a 3rd degree episiotomy. My boys avoided NICU time but I needed a blood transfusion. That was really the worst part of my L&amp;D. </p> <p>I realize how lucky I am that I got the chance to have vaginal delivery with twins. I can only hope to have an equally pleasant experience if we decide to have more kids in the future. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-birth-experience-vs-your-expecations#post-271836 Mon, 27 Aug 2012 03:05:09 +0000 looch 271836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had the birth I had planned for, which was intervention and med free. I had a wonderful experience and I attribute it to the midwives in attendance at the hospital. They knew what they were doing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-birth-experience-vs-your-expecations#post-271786 Sun, 26 Aug 2012 22:32:51 +0000 brownie 271786@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel the birth went well. My doctor wasn't there in time so I didn't get my baby right away. Mostly I grieve the afterbirth. I lost a lot of blood. So I was in and out for about 5 hours. I have no idea what his apgars or anything else was. I didn't get a lot of skin to skin. That saddens me. But we are both here and safe. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-birth-experience-vs-your-expecations#post-271782 Sun, 26 Aug 2012 22:25:00 +0000 stargal 271782@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>honestly,i didnt, i went in expectig and preparing for anything and i just wanted my baby here already. i had a hard labor (according to the drs.) i honestly ididnt find it that bad. i was induced, attempted to get my son out with forceps before we had to get a emergency c section due to his heartrate, my fever and him being way to big for my pelvis (biiggg baby!) honestly, i am 100% ok with my csection and feel confident i tried (and the dr tried! he was VERY VERY natural birth sided) everything to get him here naturally and it wasnt in the cards and thats ok... i got to see my son and touch him moents after he was born. my husband got to hold him right away and got to cut the umbical cord. we have tons of pictures of him being born. i also got to expeierce what contractions, pushing and overall labor felt like, so i dont geel like i missed out on that and am thankful i got to expierence that before my csection. i odly wantd to expierence that. my birth expeierence is still something i cherish becuase its mine and my son's. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-birth-experience-vs-your-expecations#post-271719 Sun, 26 Aug 2012 20:53:05 +0000 singingbee 271719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My bitterness is that my first experience with labor and delivery ended so sadly. I'm doing better with it, but for a long while I was very, very, very angry about the whole thing. Still am on some days. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-birth-experience-vs-your-expecations#post-271715 Sun, 26 Aug 2012 20:48:36 +0000 heffalump 271715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My experience was better than I thought in some ways and suckier in others, but not to the point where I'm left bitter.</p> <p>I think watching tv shows left me thinking id for sure have some sort of complication, and thank goodness I didn't and everything went pretty smooth. The only bad thing was I thought an epidural would take away all of the pushing pain, and it didn't. But really I cant complain. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-birth-experience-vs-your-expecations#post-271710 Sun, 26 Aug 2012 20:40:10 +0000 MamaBehr 271710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a hard time with my labor and delivery.... I had to be induced, so right off the bat I didn't get the "oh my gosh is this it?!" moment. Then, after laboring for 17 hours and pushing for an hour and a half, I ended with a c-section. I was really disappointed and upset. However, whenever I spoke to anyone about it, the response was always "all that matters is that you and the baby are healthy" which is true, sure, but don't tell me that if you didn't end up with a c-section after working that hard to NOT have one. It really bothered me that no one would listen to me about this, and two and a half years later I still can't completely watch "Baby Story" or read beautiful birthing stories without being jealous. I didn't get to feel my baby come out, I didn't get her to be on my chest moments after she was born, my husband didn't get to cut her umbilical cord, and nothing can change that. And, now where I live, I couldn't attempt a V-BAC with my son, so I'll never get the chance..... Ok, apparently I'm still really bitter!! hahaha </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-birth-experience-vs-your-expecations#post-271663 Sun, 26 Aug 2012 19:48:53 +0000 Mrs.M57 271663@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was happy with mine, but went in with pretty laid bac expectations.<br /> @ chopsuey119 same story 12 hours, epidural, vaginal, 3rd degree tears.</p> <p>I'll agree with other posters that the recovery was tougher than I expected </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-birth-experience-vs-your-expecations#post-271661 Sun, 26 Aug 2012 19:46:44 +0000 prettylizy 271661@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No regrets, no bitterness, though. I ended up needing Pitocin but was able to go without an epi and had very little pain and discomfort afterwards. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-birth-experience-vs-your-expecations#post-271658 Sun, 26 Aug 2012 19:45:44 +0000 cvbee 271658@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I expected the worst, so I was pleasantly surprised.</p> <p>I expected........ that it would be tricky to know when to go to the hospital, but my water broke so that was easy.<br /> .........the doc to send me home because contractions weren't starting, but he let me get admitted.<br /> ........I'd have to get induced, but my contractions started naturally after a couple hours.<br /> ........I'd be in contractions for 24 hours, but after 3 hours it was time to push.<br /> ........I'd need an epidural, but it happened so fast that it wasn't even in the picture.<br /> ........the 'ring of fire' would be the worst thing ever, but crowning didn't hurt..........but here is where I had the wrong expectation: thought pushing would be quick, but I pushed for 2 hours and he still wasn't out until I was freed with an episiotomy</p> <p>All the healing and PP stuff I thought would be worse too.<br /> So, do read all the horror stories.<br /> Do be ready for anything.<br /> You might be pleasantly surprised. </p> <p>PS. Back labour hurt like hell. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-birth-experience-vs-your-expecations#post-271653 Sun, 26 Aug 2012 19:38:03 +0000 Mrs. Pen 271653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a hard time with it too... it is sooo hard to be planning one thing for eight months and have it go completely differently. </p> <p>I didn't have unrealistic expectations either; I was going to have my baby in a birth center and labor - possibly birth - in the birthing tub. I was soooo excited.</p> <p>Then at 38 weeks developed pre-eclampsia and with no notice at all I had to be induced. I have an excruciating labor, felt like - and wanted to- die. Then after labor I passed out, my baby turned blue, passed out later, had to stay on drugs that made me basically incoherent for the first 24 hours of my son's life. I hated every second and it took me a really, really long time to not be depressed out it. I definitely had to have a "grieving process".</p> <p>I really hope that with baby #2 I can get the birth center birth that I so desperately want... and the chance to go into labor on my own. I hated being induced. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-birth-experience-vs-your-expecations#post-271648 Sun, 26 Aug 2012 19:29:05 +0000 cyndistar3 271648@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am starting to get over my bitterness of having to have a c-section but am still a bit angry about it. All I wanted was aother all natural birth but lo was breech. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-birth-experience-vs-your-expecations#post-271617 Sun, 26 Aug 2012 18:51:11 +0000 Rubies 271617@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My L&amp;D were very textbook - nothing traumatic or crazy but it was my recovery that had me shaken up. It was just soooo painful afterwards for so long. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-birth-experience-vs-your-expecations#post-271615 Sun, 26 Aug 2012 18:47:23 +0000 autumnlove 271615@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have nightmares when I think about my C-section and the failed anesthesia! Hoping for a better experience next time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-birth-experience-vs-your-expecations#post-271612 Sun, 26 Aug 2012 18:41:53 +0000 chopsuey 271612@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I went into labor hoping for the best (vaginal with no complications) but expecting the worst. I was open to an epidural and was happy with my experience.<br /> 12 hours from start to finish, epidural, vaginal birth, 3rd degree tears. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-birth-experience-vs-your-expecations#post-271607 Sun, 26 Aug 2012 18:37:21 +0000 runsyellowlites 271607@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm very happy about my experience this go round, which helped me heal from my first 8 years ago.</p> <p>Things didn't go exactly as planned since I did have to transfer from my homebirth to the hospital, but knowing I did everything in my power to not increases likelihood of issues from unnecessary intervention caused me to still feel pretty good even after the transfer (it should've ended in cesarean).... I am thankful that I got to push DD out though &amp; feel even more confident about our future homebirth. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-birth-experience-vs-your-expecations#post-271512 Sun, 26 Aug 2012 16:36:18 +0000 pastemoo 271512@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am still very bitter about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-birth-experience-vs-your-expecations#post-271500 Sun, 26 Aug 2012 16:31:34 +0000 lovehoneybee 271500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>At the beginning of my pregnancy my insurance company matched me up with a retired L&amp;D nurse...she called about once a month over the course of my pregnancy just to see how I was doing/answer any questions/give advice/etc. She called on Friday to see how I was feeling and how my delivery went and things like that. </p> <p>After I gave her the shortened version my my L&amp;D drama, she asked how I was feeling about the delivery and told me it was completely normal to be very down about my birth experience in the weeks after, especially in cases like mine, when things didn't go anywhere near plan. </p> <p>My birth experience was nothing like I expected. I had a "birth wish list" but the Level 12 Back Labor + 2 failed epidurals + Massive PP Hemorrhage sort of threw it out the window. In the weeks leading up to his birth I tried to stay flexible in thinking about what could happen, so I wouldn't feel jipped if things didn't go so neatly. My number one priority was always to get us both through safely, regardless of how it had to happen (I even had a mental list of c-section pros, just in case). </p> <p>While it was far from ideal, I didn't feel jipped by my experience. It's my story and his story and he's perfect and I'm healing well, and we both worked hard for him to get here. </p> <p>But it did get me thinking about other women who were maybe a little more constrained in what they expected, and what kind of bitterness they might feel if things didn't go according to plan. </p> <p>Did/do you have any regrets or bitterness about your birthing experience? </p>