https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 28 Apr 2026 23:50:42 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-mom-and-your-infant#post-164890 Mon, 21 May 2012 21:12:44 +0000 obxwife 164890@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know a lot of people love having their mom/MIL help during the first few weeks but I'm with you, I didn't need the help. My baby slept when he wasn't eating so it wasn't hard to get things accomplished especially since hubs was off with me. My family is different though, we don't talk every day, we get together about once a week. </p> <p>Maybe gently mention that you'd like to get into a routine on your own and appreciate the offer to help? Or let he know she's welcome to "visit" once you get settled? </p> <p>Unfortunately, we had visitors every single day for the first 2 weeks of LO's life. not just our parents. It was exhausting!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-mom-and-your-infant#post-164867 Mon, 21 May 2012 20:42:30 +0000 Mrs. Oyster 164867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DH will have a couple of weeks off after our baby is born and is very certain that he wants it to just be the 3 of us in the house in order to bond. My mom lives 2.5 hours away and his parents live 1.5 hours away. I know my mom wants to stay over quite a bit and has already asked if I'd like for her to take 1 or 2 weeks off of work. It's hard because I don't have much of an idea as to how I'll feel once I give birth. I can see there being many benefits to having her around to help with the pets and make me feel comfortable - but I'm also not sure I want her staying here for a prolonged period of time (we tend to clash easily). I'm hoping if I broach the subject with her gently she might be ok with staying in a hotel nearby (that we would help her pay for) but it's just so hard to balance things without knowing how I'll feel at the time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-mom-and-your-infant#post-164855 Mon, 21 May 2012 20:31:26 +0000 jennylynn 164855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would tell her how you feel. My husband only had one week off of work, and there was literally someone at our home every single day. It was really draining. I felt like we got no time to bond as a family. My mom did come over just about every other day in the beginning, but it was more to help around the house while me and my husband focused on the baby, which was super helpful. His mom came over the other days, and she mostly just hung around to hold the baby which honestly I found annoying. I wish I would have said something then because she came over every other day for like the first 4 weeks, usually when my husband was already at work..It was really hard to feel comfortable and confident as a new mom while she was there and I felt like I needed to entertain her. My mom only came over after the first week if I asked. </p> <p>Long post short, I'd be honest with her. I obviously regret the time me and my husband lost as a new family. I'd hate for you to feel that way also. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-mom-and-your-infant#post-164795 Mon, 21 May 2012 19:26:00 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 164795@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@eeh: it is definitely a "don't need" sort of thing. My husband has 6 weeks off of work (which is very different from her situation since my dad always went back to work the next day...she needed the help). It is also kind of a feeling of wanting to be alone with our brand new little family....having her over every day would be draining to me rather than helpful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-mom-and-your-infant#post-164762 Mon, 21 May 2012 18:29:10 +0000 eeh 164762@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Based on the info provided I don't really think your mom sounds that manipulative...I think my mom would probably cry too just because she's so excited about having her first grandbaby. Is the issue that you don't NEED the help or that you don't WANT the help? If it's a need thing but you wouldn't mind having her over then how about you and your husband use that as time to nap, go on a quick walk together, go sit outside alone and eat a meal, take a shower, etc. Bonding with grandparents is important too and it would allow you and your husband time to bond and reflect on this past week of parenthood. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-mom-and-your-infant#post-164737 Mon, 21 May 2012 17:59:49 +0000 GrapeCrush 164737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH had the week off after I had DS, and she didn't stop by the first week we were home because she is a firm believer that we need our own time to acclimate to life with the baby for the first week. She did however take off the following week and came over everyday and helped out. It was especially nice since I had a c-section and helped out. But she did do a random stop by yesterday because she didn't think she could wait till Wednesday to see him again </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-mom-and-your-infant#post-164707 Mon, 21 May 2012 17:41:44 +0000 Rubies 164707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom came over every day after LO was two weeks old. From 0-2 weeks, the hubs and I managed together (but had some in-law drama when my MIL kept showing up unannounced). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-mom-and-your-infant#post-164699 Mon, 21 May 2012 17:32:46 +0000 Mrs. Pen 164699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When my mom came over we took advantage of it and my husband and I would cuddle and sleep :) it was nice for sure but she wasn't available to come over as often as I wanted her to. My husband only had one week off so I liked having her there to cook/clean so DH, LO and I could be together as a little family.<br /> But in your situation I think it's a little rude and manipulative. I know it's hard to say no but you didn't know her expectations beforehand and her experience was probably different than yours. If you want to focus on spending time alone as a new family it IS your perogative. I know how hard it can be to feel you're disappointing your mom though. I'm sorry your going through this :(<br /> What does your husband think? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-mom-and-your-infant#post-164683 Mon, 21 May 2012 17:23:23 +0000 chopsuey 164683@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Awwww... my mom stayed with us for a little over 2 weeks after LO was born. Loved it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-mom-and-your-infant#post-164669 Mon, 21 May 2012 16:55:57 +0000 heffalump 164669@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom sometimes complains if she hasn't seen lo in a few days. I always tell her she's welcome to come over whenever she wants. We can always use extra help, and if she's hanging out with lo I can shower, make dinner, laundry, clean, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-mom-and-your-infant#post-164668 Mon, 21 May 2012 16:53:46 +0000 DillonLion 164668@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't appreciate being manipulated like that with the crying (my mom likes to do the same thing). If you don't need help, you don't need help. If she wants to come visit, then you guys can make plans. But I don't think its necessary for her to expect to be over at your house every single day, for most of the day, if you don't want/need that. She needs to be a little more understanding.</p> <p>All I want after giving birth is privacy and space with my new family. Not a bunch of people at my house all the time, including my own mom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-mom-and-your-infant#post-164663 Mon, 21 May 2012 16:50:02 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 164663@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom just called me bawling because she has not seen our one week old since the day before yesterday. She said when she had her first baby, her mom moved in with her for two weeks. She said she at least expected to be at our house every single day. I really don't know what to do because my husband has 6 weeks off work...we don't really need the help! She said she feels hurt and basically begged to come over every single day. I feel torn and just said OK cuz I don't know what else to do.</p> <p>How often did your mom come over when you had your first baby? What would you do in this situation? </p>