https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 15 May 2026 20:20:01 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parenting-goals#post-1241494 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 12:21:35 +0000 Bookish 1241494@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a few-</p> <p>- Stop modeling self-hating behavior: I tend to talk pretty disparagingly about my appearance, and DH reminds me daily that she will pick up on it. I'm really making an effort to say positive things about how I look.<br /> - Stop cussing so much (oops)<br /> - Limit technology (to a point): we were at my Dad's house this weekend and the older kids (age 3 + I think 8?) spent the entire visit on the 3 year old's ipad. Technology is great and I want her to use it, but what happened to creative play? What's wrong with kids being bored? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parenting-goals#post-1241469 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 12:15:59 +0000 immabeetoo 1241469@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: I hear what you're saying. I grew up playing outside mostly and have strong memories of "projects" I worked on in elementary school like a stuffed animal hospital and a tree fort but at the same time, I have just as fond memories of playing computer games. I think technology has become sort of a whipping boy/guilty pleasure in parenting circles -- there were self centered little jerks before the ipad existed, too. But I know what you mean. </p> <p>Thanks for elaborating on rhythm! That makes sense to me. I struggle between structure and unstructure, sometimes, the idea of a 'soup night' sounds both appealing and limiting to me. But I agree wholeheartedly on traditions and seasons!</p> <p> I don't think being intentional sounds controlling at all. I feel like most people I interact with tease me about reading parenting books or thinking about things like this, which doesn't make sense to me. I'm not looking for answers or a how-to! People spend hours planning trips, price comparing on shoes, and other more mundane things so I don't know why it's shunned to research parenting styles and decisions. I'd rather be intentional now in the hopes of avoiding conflict later, as well :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parenting-goals#post-1240642 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 09:10:00 +0000 Alivoo01 1240642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: Amen sista!! Because being polite, courteous, and well-mannered human being seems to not exist anymore... Ugh! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parenting-goals#post-1240565 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 08:42:01 +0000 artsyfartsy 1240565@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>To be pretty laid back and not freak out over every little thing. My sister is super relaxed and flexible and because of that her 7 month old is super relaxed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parenting-goals#post-1240534 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 08:24:51 +0000 looch 1240534@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have long term ones and short term ones. The long term ones are things like raising a self sufficient person, kind, compassionate, etc.</p> <p>The short term ones are more focused on things like providing more structure on the weekends (I've noticed we've had more tantrums and I attribute it to boredom), parental involvement in school/daycare, that kind of thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parenting-goals#post-1240532 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 08:22:51 +0000 Silva 1240532@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@scg00387: By the way, I really like the way you wrote about the kind of person you want to raise :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parenting-goals#post-1240531 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 08:22:12 +0000 Silva 1240531@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@scg00387: I think you make good points about technology. I have a bad habit of being very nostalgic for "how I was raised." I worry so much that my kids will be plugged in all the time. I think in part my fear comes because I haven't really been able to observe parents handling media and kids responsibly. I mean, my parents limited tv time to 30 minutes a day until I was in my teens- but they had less control over the computer. And now it seems like our lives are so saturated in it. I know i can set rules and expectations around media use- but I haven't really seen it modeled. Its kind of a new parenting challenge for our generation, in a way. </p> <p>As for rhythm, in my mind its kind of a nice, more gentle word for routine. I really think kids thrive when they know what to expect, and that routine helps them feel safe. And I think it helps create positive family culture. But I don't want to follow something rigidly. Rhythm is sort of like an inhalation and exhalation pattern- there is daily rhythm- the way we move through our day (we sing our waking up song, change diapers, play independently, then play together, then nap time song, etc.). There is the way we move through our week (Monday is groceries, Tuesday is soup day, Wednesday is story time, etc) an the way we move through the year and the season (marked by different celebrations, observing the changing of the seasons, etc.). Its the way our lives flow. I think we do a lot of this naturally- but I want to be more intentional about it. Many of my favorite memories from childhood are the routines, the patterns that marked our family culture. FOr example: "We go for a big hike every fall" is something I would say about my family culture- our rhythm and way of marking the seasons and being outdoors helps form my identity.</p> <p>It is also supposed to help kids with participating in chores as they get older, because its just a part of "what we do." After breakfast we bring our dishes to the table, and then we play. Obviously I"m not there yet- but I like the idea!</p> <p>Anyway- those are two of the things I"ve been thinking about lately. I obviously have "big picture" parenting goals about the values and self image I wish for my daughter, but my husband and I both try to be intentional about how we get there, you know? Maybe that sounds super controlling....I swear I'm pretty relaxed about it! Its more like personal challenges for myself, in a way, I guess. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parenting-goals#post-1240352 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 00:03:27 +0000 lamariniere 1240352@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: totally agree!</p> <p>I want my children to be decent, compassionate and caring adults. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parenting-goals#post-1240265 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 22:04:04 +0000 Mae 1240265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: Basically the first thing I thought of. </p> <p>I want to raise a kid who is empathetic. Who is kind and charitable and basically succeeds at being the sort of person I'd like to be but often fail at. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parenting-goals#post-1240263 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 22:03:33 +0000 immabeetoo 1240263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: I think about this often! It sounds cheesy, but I try to remind myself when I'm making decisions that essentially everything I do is modeling or teaching my son something. With that being said, I thought I'd be a lot more uptight about being on my phone or computer when he is up but after thinking about it often, I am more relaxed. Phones are just becoming a part of life, and I think it's a double edged sword -- today I pulled it up with him while we were playing because I didn't know what noise a baboon made, we played music on it, and I read an article or two. I don't think anything of reading while he plays, or cleaning, etc. and it doesn't compute (in my mind) to cast technology as 'the evil' when it is a big part of our everyday life. With that being said, we're planning on no screen time until 2 and rarely have the TV on when he's awake.</p> <p>Anyways, our parenting goals are to raise someone who feels comfortable and supported expressing his feelings, exploring his passions, and loves to learn. We hope he is kind, and that he's the type of kid who will stand up and say something is wrong when everyone else is tittering or staying silent. Being thoughtful and empathetic is a goal for myself and I hope I can encourage those traits to be a goal he has for himself too!</p> <p>I know you've written elsewhere about rhythm, and I've read some about it, I'd be curious to hear more about it if you have the time. I don't feel like I understand the concept, to be honest. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parenting-goals#post-1240259 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 21:57:10 +0000 Mrs. Bee 1240259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaBehr: I hear you on the toddlers vs preschoolers! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parenting-goals#post-1240237 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 21:34:21 +0000 AmandaB8 1240237@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not to raise a spoiled brat :\ </p> <p>I really want our kids to be kind and helpful, and not expect things to be giving to them without cause. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parenting-goals#post-1240233 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 21:30:54 +0000 Silva 1240233@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: I think the fact that you are thinking about it now bodes well :wink: you will be great </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parenting-goals#post-1240229 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 21:29:40 +0000 LovelyPlum 1240229@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaBehr: LOL, I believe that's why my mother sent me to kindergarden early. Apparently, I was an extra-trying preschooler ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parenting-goals#post-1240228 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 21:29:29 +0000 Silva 1240228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaBehr: ha! It's easy for me to get idealistic about how I'm going to handle things when I just have a 7 month old! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parenting-goals#post-1240226 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 21:28:15 +0000 LovelyPlum 1240226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: thanks! I hope so. I get so anxious so easily, and I know that I could very easily obsess over everything, trying to do everything "exactly right." But I need to remember that honestly, baby won't know the difference, and the best I can do is my best. At least, that's the hope :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parenting-goals#post-1240225 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 21:27:55 +0000 MamaBehr 1240225@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: toddlers are easy, it is the preschoolers that are hard! My 21 month old can drive me crazy, but my 3.5 year old makes me want to pull my hair out! hahaha </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parenting-goals#post-1240220 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 21:24:02 +0000 NurseMommy 1240220@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just want my daughter to be happy, confident, and kind. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parenting-goals#post-1240214 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 21:18:48 +0000 Silva 1240214@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaBehr: it is a really hard habit to break, I'm sure! My LO is still just a little baby, so there isn't much to yell at her about, but I imagine things get real once you hit those toddler years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parenting-goals#post-1240211 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 21:17:22 +0000 Silva 1240211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: those are great! When I was pregnant one of my biggest worries was that I would be an anxious mom. I've been anxious about pretty much everything my whole life. Some how, my daughter showed up, and I chilled out. I haven't felt anxious about much when it comes to her! I hope it goes similarly for you. :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parenting-goals#post-1240210 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 21:17:20 +0000 MamaBehr 1240210@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I find that I get angry and yell more than I would like. I am hoping that it is because I'm pregnant, and once the baby is here I will have more patience and less yelling, but this is something that I'm awfully ashamed about and hate doing (yet can't stop myself either...). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parenting-goals#post-1240205 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 21:14:35 +0000 LovelyPlum 1240205@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Baby is not here yet, but this is a good thing to think about. My current ones are:</p> <p>*try not to be anxious, and not obsess over little things!<br /> *model kindness<br /> *instill a love of being outside by enjoying the great nature we have around here</p> <p>I'm sure they'll change when baby is here, but that's what I've got now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parenting-goals#post-1240174 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 20:55:59 +0000 Silva 1240174@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: we are pretty careful about screen time, but I hate how much she sees us both on our computers. I don't have a smartphone, but I do get on the iPad too much. It's definitely how i relax/ take a break, but there are healthier things for me to do.<br /> I imagine when she gets older it will be hard for us to enforce limits about screen time if we don't follow them ourselves! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parenting-goals#post-1240166 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 20:52:27 +0000 yoursilverlining 1240166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: haha, that's my #1 goal, too.</p> <p>Less technology use (by me) for sure, which is a work in progress as I'm kind of a workaholic. I was totally taken aback the other day when LO had my phone and I couldn't see where she left it. I asked her where mama's phone was and got a blank stare. I said "where?" and pretended to send a text on my palm and she said "ohh!" and walked me right over to my phone. :/ really a gut check that I'm clearly using my phone too much while she is around. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parenting-goals#post-1240165 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 20:51:22 +0000 Silva 1240165@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: ha! I told my husband his goal was to stop swearing so much during football. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parenting-goals#post-1240161 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 20:49:55 +0000 blackbird 1240161@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not raise an asshole </p> <p>:) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parenting-goals#post-1240155 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 20:45:56 +0000 Silva 1240155@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had brunch with some friends is morning. They are great parents. I was so impressed with how they interact with their son. It definitely made me think about some areas I want to improve in.</p> <p>A big one for me is limiting the technology I use when my daughter is awake. I've been getting better, but I often pick up the iPad while she is playing on the floor. I'd rather be productive around the house or interact with her, I don't want to model a lot of media use!<br /> Another goal of mine is developing more rhythm to our days and weeks. We have been making improvements in this area since her naps became more predictable, but I'd like to work on it even more.</p> <p>What are some of your goals? </p>