https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 25 May 2026 12:56:27 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parents-vs-your-parenting#post-701170 Tue, 09 Apr 2013 06:27:56 +0000 Dandelion 701170@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a "don't sweat the small stuff" attitude when it comes to parenting. I allow DS to wear what he likes to school. It doesn't always match, but he seems comfortable in it, and it's not against dress code, so I just let it go. My mom will see him and ask me why I let him out of the house like that. She was always so worried about how me and my brothers looked. I try not to do that with DS, cause I don't want him to be concerned with just looks.</p> <p>That was just an example, but it's pretty much the difference in everything. DS is already a very particular kid, so anything I can get him to be laid back about, I encourage it. She's quite the opposite. She likes to care about every little thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parents-vs-your-parenting#post-701156 Tue, 09 Apr 2013 05:54:06 +0000 illumina 701156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PrincessBaby: My Dad said "don't read too much into all these recent parenting fads, just do what comes naturally" then later that day said "let them CIO and learn to self-soothe as much as possible" then the next day said "please tell us if we're interfering, we don't mean to" *sigh* It's going to be interesting when LO arrives.</p> <p>@Foodnerd81: For as long as I can remember, our vacations were all about what my parents wanted to do. It was OK, but I really wasn't all that interested in looking around ruins and monasteries in my early teenage years. Looking back, I see what they were trying to do and appreciate it... but I would have liked holidays to be a little more fun. I plan to take my kids to Disney as soon as I think they are old enough to appreciate it and go to places where there are kids clubs and things for them to do.</p> <p>@Bookworm: the "united front" is something I really want to portray to my kids. From time to time I bring up parenting topics with DH to see how he would react to a situation... and it seems as though we are on the same page so far, so that's good. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parents-vs-your-parenting#post-700207 Mon, 08 Apr 2013 17:35:31 +0000 Anagram 700207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It'll be interesting to see how DH and I parent when LO arrives. </p> <p>My parents had 6 kids and both worked (although my mom did have years here and there where she was a SAHM) and owned a business on the side--and honestly, I feel like my parents were superhuman. My mom cooked dinner every night, she sewed, my dad fixed the cars and did all the lawn care and would often make us all breakfast. They never seemed....tired, like normal people are. </p> <p>They both had hobbies and loved us and parented us, but didn't make us their entire world. My parents went on trips without us kids. I think they did a good job. I wish they would have pushed me in school harder---part of the pitfalls of a large family is the tendency to "pigeonhole" each kid into a certain role. And one of my older sisters was already the Type-A, straight A student, so it was like...I had to be something else. But everything else, I think they did a great job. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parents-vs-your-parenting#post-700185 Mon, 08 Apr 2013 17:23:12 +0000 PrincessBaby 700185@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh and btw, my mom says I "read too much" about how to parent! She thinks us doing EASY and trying to control H's schedule and bedtime is bananas and yuppy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parents-vs-your-parenting#post-700179 Mon, 08 Apr 2013 17:21:45 +0000 PrincessBaby 700179@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom told me that she gave my sister and brother cough medicine with codeine to make them sleep. Like even if they weren't sick/on the regular!</p> <p>When I told her once that H kept waking up and crying when I tried to put her down every night, my mom said,"Can't you just shut the door and not go back in?"</p> <p>Definitely two things I don't plan on doing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parents-vs-your-parenting#post-700158 Mon, 08 Apr 2013 17:05:16 +0000 jennylynn 700158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't really feel like I have a lot in common with my mom as far as parenting goes. We seem to disagree on a lot, and she mocks or criticizes some of the stuff I choose to do or choose not to do (like not giving LO a paci in the early weeks because she's breastfed, giving water instead of juice, etc). I think she has a hard time understanding that just because she did it and it was the norm when I was a baby, doesn't make it right for us. It is so frustrating! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parents-vs-your-parenting#post-700130 Mon, 08 Apr 2013 16:49:58 +0000 Cole 700130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Largely, I really think my parents did an awesome job. My mom made a point of field trip Wednesdays every summer and during breaks, we did lots of arts and crafts, read tons etc. They were really good about having each other's backs too, although there was quite a bit of "go ask your mother/father" which now that I am an adult I get-- there are some things I care about and my husband doesn't and vice versa. They were really good about date nights, I know they made it a priority, I don't think it was even every week but it was often enough that it was just part of life. </p> <p>I wish they had been a bit more strict and pushed me a bit harder but quite frankly I was a pretty easy kid and I had three younger siblings so I am pretty sure they had bigger things to worry about.</p> <p>My husband's parents also did an awesome job, they have a great marriage and were on the same page. They were stricter about somethings then I agree with (but odd things-- like my dh stayed up the whole night before prom cleaning because he wasn't allowed to go unless his room was spotless, and I assure you his mom would have stuck to her word!)</p> <p>I know his parents started a parenting group and read tons, I doubt they did cio with my dh but apparently he was an angel sleeper, his brothers might be another story though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parents-vs-your-parenting#post-700113 Mon, 08 Apr 2013 16:42:06 +0000 Bookish 700113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@prettylizy: Same, my dad and I grow more alike every day it seems! </p> <p>My parents had a pretty typical parenting styled for where I grew up: formula-fed, sleep training, SAHM that took care of 75% of the parenting, Dad that traveled, etc. The main thing I will do differently than my parents is the division of labor. Both DH and I work FT, and it will have to be 50/50 or it just won't work, which also means I want to be more of a united front than my parents were. They almost never went out on dates or provided a united 'us' front, and I want LO to experience a more positive marriage example.</p> <p>My mom did a lot of things right and a lot of things I would change. I will not change things like emphasis on education, but I will be trying my darndest to avoid how she raised us from about age 12-onward, which was essentially to pretend we weren't growing up and treating us like we were perpetual 10-year olds. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parents-vs-your-parenting#post-700068 Mon, 08 Apr 2013 16:20:06 +0000 Foodnerd81 700068@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There are things I want to do the same and a lot of things I want to do differently, but nothing I would 'blame' them for-- I know they did the best they could possibly do for us, and I'll do the same for my LOs. And my LOs will probably grow up and have a long list of things they think WE did wrong but hopefully they will know we did the best that we could. </p> <p>However, things I think we will do differently are- more couple time away from kids (common theme here!), hopefully teaching them to clean better than I was taught (which is tough, since I'm sort of a slob if I'm not careful), taking them on interesting vacations for all of us, not just kid centric ones (after a certain age, of course), and DH will be a lot more involved than my dad was... but really, on the big things my parents got it right. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parents-vs-your-parenting#post-700006 Mon, 08 Apr 2013 15:57:36 +0000 illumina 700006@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Modern Daisy: My parents were the same... they never had any kid-free time (apart from when my Dad was at work) and I don't remember them having any friends. Quite sad really.. I don't want to be that isolated.</p> <p>@prettylizy: I could have written your comment! I tend to flare up sometimes, but I'm very aware of my emotions and can usually tell when I'm getting upset and walk away before I lash out! My Dad was too strict with us... I also think they treated us like children for too long, like not explaining why we couldn't do something, just saying "because I say so.." etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parents-vs-your-parenting#post-699898 Mon, 08 Apr 2013 15:30:57 +0000 prettylizy 699898@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm turning into my dad a little more every day and it's makes me proud and crazy at the same time. My parents were strict, sometmes a little too strict, but I think I'm better for it. I hope to have better control over my temper than my dad had. Sometimes I think he flew off the handle to quickly. I'm way more granola than my parents though. No sugar, no TV, extended breastfeeding. All in all, I hope I can be as awesome as they were. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parents-vs-your-parenting#post-699843 Mon, 08 Apr 2013 15:18:01 +0000 Modern Daisy 699843@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents did some things right and a lot of things wrong. Like them I will do CIO once I am able to and our master bedroom will be off-limits once the newborn stage is over. But I think they failed to teach us how to be neat and clean up after ourselves. It's so much easier to just pick it up than to teach a child how to do it, so they took the easy route. And they also never had any kid-free time, we were rarely left with a sitter and when we were it was absolutely necessary. I felt that strained our relationship a bit, especially when we became teenagers and needed some space. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/your-parents-vs-your-parenting#post-699804 Mon, 08 Apr 2013 15:09:19 +0000 illumina 699804@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Did the choices your parents made with you and your siblings influence how you chose to parent? </p> <p>My parents had some views which seemed to differ from the norm at the time: i.e. they didn't give us any immunisations and I was quite surprised to hear I STTN from 4wks due to them implementing CIO pretty much straight away.</p> <p>I haven't given it much thought yet, but I wonder how it will effect how I feel about it when LO arrives. </p>