https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 04 Apr 2026 03:07:13 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-a-bad-dad-and-other-quips-from-mil#post-2112027 Tue, 17 Mar 2015 15:43:51 +0000 LuLu Mom 2112027@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>yuck, this is not okay to me at all! I wouldn't want those comments said around my LO, no matter how old they are! I would express as kindly but assertive as possible that "DH is a wonderful dad and I would appreciate if you kept your opinions to yourself" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-a-bad-dad-and-other-quips-from-mil#post-2111981 Tue, 17 Mar 2015 15:08:13 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 2111981@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Modern Daisy: my MIL does this too. They are insanely irresponsible with their money and FIL up and quit his job with no where else to go and any time DH gets a bonus or anything we get snark "well, good for you" comments instead of her being genuinely happy that her son has learned from their mistakes and is doing well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-a-bad-dad-and-other-quips-from-mil#post-2111978 Tue, 17 Mar 2015 15:05:53 +0000 Modern Daisy 2111978@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh, that's so irritating! Sorry you have to deal with that. I know that my MIL says things that REALLY get under DH's skin and I feel so bad for him. She's very threatened by our success and is always talking down our accomplishments, especially his. Like when he got promoted, she immediately interjected with how DH's cousin got a BIGGER promotion. Overall she's actually an extremely sweet and caring person, but this side of her really grates on us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-a-bad-dad-and-other-quips-from-mil#post-2111936 Tue, 17 Mar 2015 14:23:53 +0000 jetsa 2111936@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry that's horrible.</p> <p>I love my MIL, she seriously does a ton for us but she drives me crazy when she watches LO because she doesn't sleep is very necessary, "oh he did great last night he slept 8 hours"...umm no he needs 11-12 to not be a terror by 2 pm ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-a-bad-dad-and-other-quips-from-mil#post-2111934 Tue, 17 Mar 2015 14:23:35 +0000 blackbird 2111934@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would stop giving her fodder for one, but for two, I would tell her she needs to keep her negative nancy shit to herself! What a miserable woman to talk about your son like that. And I would try to avoid her, heh.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-a-bad-dad-and-other-quips-from-mil#post-2111915 Tue, 17 Mar 2015 14:03:33 +0000 littlejoy 2111915@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sunshine: It's not your hormones ... I would be livid if my MIL said anything bad about my husband. She should have the forethought to realize that with the new baby coming, you're probably a little emotionally charged, and she should be offering kindness and good thoughts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-a-bad-dad-and-other-quips-from-mil#post-2111906 Tue, 17 Mar 2015 13:59:42 +0000 rachiecakes 2111906@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both DH and I have negative families. Everything is a complaint, "too bad the weather has been awful", "he makes me tired just looking at him!", everything is "too much" for them, groan groan groan, travel, time, energy, etc. and I'm the one that drives us the hour to and from to visit. They NEVER come our way. They've come 3 times since J was born and 7 times in the 16 years I've lived here.</p> <p>We just try to keep positive and work through it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-a-bad-dad-and-other-quips-from-mil#post-2111902 Tue, 17 Mar 2015 13:57:45 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 2111902@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: DH says she's kind of always been like that but it breaks my heart every time and it seems like she has a lot of comments lately. It could just be my pregnancy hormones getting the best of me too, but I just can't stand to hear her say those things about him. On the bright(?) side, it definitely makes me put out more of an effort to appreciate and love him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-a-bad-dad-and-other-quips-from-mil#post-2111892 Tue, 17 Mar 2015 13:48:19 +0000 littlejoy 2111892@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just couldn't handle that. I'm sorry you're going through it. </p> <p>One, proximity is an issue. I feel like when family is really close, they feel like they get to have an extra opinion or something. We are FAR from our family, and it's honestly really nice. </p> <p>As far as the comments, it sounds like your husband needs to tell his mom to watch her backhanded comments. It's hurtful to you, and it's clearly causing resentment. I'm a fan of each spouse dealing with issues with their parents. </p> <p>My MIL smokes, cusses a ton, and says racist things on the regular. She tried to let me her hold our 3 month old after she had a cigarette, because it's "good for their immune systems". She said "fuck" like 18 times the other night while we were Skyping.</p> <p>I just realize that she is who she is ... I've gone from secretly resenting her, to being able to laugh about it with my husband. Once we were on the same page, it was way easier. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-a-bad-dad-and-other-quips-from-mil#post-2111885 Tue, 17 Mar 2015 13:43:27 +0000 avivoca 2111885@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That is so awful! I can't believe she says things like that.</p> <p>My MIL isn't too bad, but she grates on my nerves when we tell her H is sick or something. If she has the tiniest fever from teething, she goes on and on about how we need to take her to the doctor and get some antibiotics, and we're like chill out woman, it's teeth. The last thing that bothered me was when she made some comment on FaceTime about how loud Mommy was being (I was emptying the dishwasher). I gave my husband the death look and he immediately got off FT. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-a-bad-dad-and-other-quips-from-mil#post-2111883 Tue, 17 Mar 2015 13:39:41 +0000 Cole 2111883@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yuck! Your poor dh! That just isn't nice!</p> <p>My mil is a pretty nice person but she can drive me batty sometimes, she came out to help after my lo was born and basically destroyed my kitchen cooking for us, it would have been easier to get takeout than scrape dried raw egg off my counters. </p> <p>The only awful thing she ever did was invite bil 1's girlfriend on a family trip but not bil 2's. Bil 2 found out at dinner the first night of the trip and when he asked her why his girlfriend wasn't invited she said she didn't think unemployed people deserved vacations. Bil could and would have happily paid for his girlfriend but mil knew that and just hated the girlfriend. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-a-bad-dad-and-other-quips-from-mil#post-2111877 Tue, 17 Mar 2015 13:35:30 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 2111877@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: I know. I'm really trying to work on watching what I say around her! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-a-bad-dad-and-other-quips-from-mil#post-2111876 Tue, 17 Mar 2015 13:35:07 +0000 Adira 2111876@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>... I have no words. I don't understand how she can think so poorly of her own children! That's just... sad. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-a-bad-dad-and-other-quips-from-mil#post-2111875 Tue, 17 Mar 2015 13:34:04 +0000 HLK208 2111875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Whoa...how sad and messed up. I could never imagine thinking so little of my children. I agree with Foodnerd, only share the positive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-a-bad-dad-and-other-quips-from-mil#post-2111874 Tue, 17 Mar 2015 13:33:59 +0000 Foodnerd81 2111874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I thinkin would stop saying anything negative around her, ever. Like, never say when LO had a bad night, or anything. Not a very truthful relationship but better than what is happening now. </p> <p>I don't have any real issues with my ILs- but they live clear across the country and go out of their way not to step on my toes. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-a-bad-dad-and-other-quips-from-mil#post-2111867 Tue, 17 Mar 2015 13:30:47 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 2111867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL has always been...umm, nice without being nice, if that makes sense. She views herself as very kind hearted and helpful but she is constantly complaining when she has to help others, I've never heard her say a single nice thing about FIL, DH or BIL (seriously, I think she hated being a mom) and she's just all around kind of difficult to listen to talk because she is never positive. Her son's have a strained relationship with her and she doesn't understand why they don't talk to her. </p> <p>The other day, she was giving us some books for DD that used to belong to DH when he was a kid. She said something about how he could read them to her and I jokingly made a comment about hour he reads to her in a monotone so that probably won't happen. Her response was "You are such a bad dad." Which totally shocked me and threw me for a loop. He didn't say anything but I quickly said "no he's not. He's a great dad and LO clearly adores him." And we left. </p> <p>Two days ago, we were discussing how we will have 2 kids under 2 in 5 ish weeks. Several little nuggets of gold were "Do you think you'll even be able to do it?" "I bet you're going to need your mom to come stay with you." "I hope you don't think LO2 is going to be as good as LO1. If that's what you think you're in for a rude awakening." </p> <p>Today, I was telling her about how we had a rough evening with LO, I ended up crying while giving LO a bath so I was telling her how DH swept the livingroom floor and waited to finished his dinner so we could eat together after LO went to bed (we usually eat as a family but the evening was going really badly and that just couldn't happen). Her response was "wow, I'm surprised that he did that, he's so selfish usually." I said "he's a really good dad and husband. We think he's pretty great." "Well I would never believe it if you hadn't told me that." </p> <p>we live on 5 acres split 5 ways so we see her everytime we go outside. I just don't know what the hell is wrong with this woman. I'm getting very close to telling her off or at least telling her to keep those comments to herself around our daughters. I want them to think the sun shines out of their daddys butt, and they should think that! I just don't understand her at all.</p> <p>Share your in law vents! </p>