https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 14:18:14 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-not-my-friend#post-2537019 Fri, 29 Apr 2016 13:07:47 +0000 lamariniere 2537019@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: @yoursilverlining: @Maysprout: @BananaPancakes: thanks for all your responses. Even though I know it's a normal part of childhood, I'm pretty sure this is the first time it has really happened to him, so I wasn't sure how to go about handling it. The kid in question wasn't at school today, so hopefully all will be well next week. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-not-my-friend#post-2536818 Fri, 29 Apr 2016 10:35:24 +0000 BananaPancakes 2536818@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lamariniere: We're going through this right now with DS and his best friend. They have been fighting like brothers lately, and since his friend has older cousins who are kind of wild, he's already learned some not-so-nice phrases from them, including "you're not my friend," and "I'm not going to play with you EVER again." DS is suuuuper sensitive, so he is absolutely distraught in the middle of it happening, but then they'll make up and play again later, so it seems to even out. His mom and I have been trying to talk to them both when it starts escalating and stopping the play date immediately if they can't play nice, which seems to stop the behavior immediately, but it just seems like a tough thing to navigate for both of us. We both don't wan't them talking to each other like that, but they're just little balls of raging emotions at this age, it's hard to figure out how to handle it. I think with your DS being older than mine, he's probably going to learn quicker that his friend is just using that phrase because he's upset about something, and that they are still friends. It's so hard to see them get hurt by words. :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-not-my-friend#post-2536796 Fri, 29 Apr 2016 10:21:44 +0000 Maysprout 2536796@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think a lot of kids say this to each other. Our little neighbor does it a lot and it's kinda been a good thing for getting our daughter over being hurt by it. I'll ask my dd why she said it, it's usually a 4 year old reason, and the rest of the kids play for a bit. I've liked seeing the transition of dd being almost in tears to being like meh, this will blow over in a min The one thing I don't like is my older dd has then started saying it to my younger dd. we talk about how it's not nice and if it gets to be too much a time out and hpw it's fine to take time to play by yourself without having to say mean things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-not-my-friend#post-2536694 Fri, 29 Apr 2016 08:31:29 +0000 yoursilverlining 2536694@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: We are going through this now too. </p> <p>LO, and the kids in her class, are all really focused on who is whose “best friend” each day. Of course it changes each day, but sometimes LO will comment that a certain friend “didn’t want to be my friend today/anymore”. I talk with her what happened and ask why she believes that X doesn’t want to be her friend that day/anymore. </p> <p>I tell LO that we all have days we don’t feel like playing with everyone, and point out to her that she often tells friends she “needs space” etc. but I don’t really push it too much because tomorrow I know there will be a new “best friend”. Friendship is so fluid right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-not-my-friend#post-2536599 Fri, 29 Apr 2016 06:35:10 +0000 looch 2536599@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're going through this now, I think it's just normal behavior at this age, but it's really tough to explain to kids.</p> <p>My son has told me that some kids don't want to play with him when he asks and I told him that is fine, it's their choice, and he shouldn't feel badly about it, but he still does. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-not-my-friend#post-2536571 Fri, 29 Apr 2016 02:48:14 +0000 lamariniere 2536571@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son (5yo) was at a birthday party yesterday and normally he gets along really well with the birthday boy, "B", and they've never had problems in the past. Something happened at the party though, and when I came to pick up my son, he was upset that B didn't want to be his friend anymore. I have no idea what happened, but I did see that B refused to say thank you and goodbye to my son, which made my son even more upset.</p> <p>When we left, my son asked me why B had been mean to him and didn't want to be his friend. I'm not automatically assuming that my son is completely innocent, and I imagine it has to do with too much excitement, too many kids and someone got their feelings hurt somehow. I remember this happening to me as a kid and being really hurt by it. I tried to tell my son that it was just the excitement of the moment and things will be fine at school again and B didn't really mean that they weren't friends anymore. But that didn't really convince him. How do you console your child in these situations? </p>