https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 30 Apr 2026 12:05:08 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-only-as-happy-as-your-unhappiest-child#post-2245914 Sat, 25 Jul 2015 20:02:09 +0000 ElbieKay 2245914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I thought the article was sort of dumb and naval-gazing.</p> <p>I disagree with the statement. The answer for me would always be circumstantial and dependent on my interpretation of the reasonableness of my child's unhappiness; so I don't think it is possible to apply a general rule.</p> <p>However, I do think that the cranky txt msgs were the 12yo equivalent of a toddler tantrum, do I think it's a good analogy!</p> <p>Personally, I don't think I would send my child to sleep away camp if he wasn't interested in going. Seems like a poor choice to me. If he WAS interested in going then I would be clear they he is making a commitment and would be expected to stick it out. At that point, if he complained then I probably wouldn't be too bothered.</p> <p>A serious illness (or similar challenge) is in another league. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-only-as-happy-as-your-unhappiest-child#post-2245882 Sat, 25 Jul 2015 18:23:39 +0000 lawbee11 2245882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>IMO the author of the NYT article isn't talking about tantrums and toddler mood swings. After all, she references her 12-year-old daughter. I think if my child were going through a rough time such as being bullied at school then the saying would be true for me. Even when my LO is really sick I have a hard time being happy knowing how much pain and discomfort she's experiencing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-only-as-happy-as-your-unhappiest-child#post-2245869 Sat, 25 Jul 2015 17:41:16 +0000 LML 2245869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This saying goes through my mind at least three or four times a week. It is one of the truest things I've ever heard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-only-as-happy-as-your-unhappiest-child#post-2245843 Sat, 25 Jul 2015 16:26:49 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2245843@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: great points! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-only-as-happy-as-your-unhappiest-child#post-2245771 Sat, 25 Jul 2015 14:10:36 +0000 Anagram 2245771@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>oh yeah, with this saying, I wasn't thinking tantrums over a broken cookie type scenario--I was thinking real sicknesses and unhappiness. </p> <p>I don't get sad at all at my LOs tantrums---but when she is ill and miserable, I'm very worried and sad myself, so I can't even imagine the mommies who go through serious illnesses and issues with their LOs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-only-as-happy-as-your-unhappiest-child#post-2245739 Sat, 25 Jul 2015 13:01:31 +0000 Mae 2245739@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I mean it hurts when anyone you love is hurting. And since you love your kids SO much, yes I think it hurts a lot when they are hurting. But I think I (and most people here) are at the phase where what our kids are sad about is fleeting and trivial so it doesn't really affect me. But when your kids are teens and having more serous unhappiness I can see it bumming me out more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-only-as-happy-as-your-unhappiest-child#post-2245724 Sat, 25 Jul 2015 12:41:03 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2245724@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's true to a point. If you have a truly miserable kid, it's going to affect you (just like spending a lot of time around anyone in a bad mood would.) It consumes your time so it only makes sense. But at the same time I woudn't say you're necessarily AS miserable as the miserable kid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-only-as-happy-as-your-unhappiest-child#post-2245719 Sat, 25 Jul 2015 12:18:33 +0000 rachiecakes 2245719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rainbow Sprinkles: totally agree </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-only-as-happy-as-your-unhappiest-child#post-2245693 Sat, 25 Jul 2015 11:30:30 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 2245693@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't buy it at all! I feel like my happiness is independent from my kids, though obviously it brings me joy to see them happy.</p> <p>There are times when my 20 month old is melting down and screaming and acting as if her whole world is crashing down and it doesn't really faze me. If I were to get as frazzled and upset as her, the whole situation would be a lot worse. Just keep swimming! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-only-as-happy-as-your-unhappiest-child#post-2245638 Sat, 25 Jul 2015 09:22:23 +0000 Rockies11 2245638@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think I really feel like you're only as happy as ypur unhappiest child. I think that when my kids or my husband are unhappy I feel empathy, but not neccessarily unhappiness. I am in the camp of the second writer that we're responsible for our own feelings. It's one thing that I really want my kids to absorb from teaching about our values. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-only-as-happy-as-your-unhappiest-child#post-2245620 Sat, 25 Jul 2015 09:07:56 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2245620@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: Lol. No. Hubands are "supposed" to be happy if everyone else is! :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-only-as-happy-as-your-unhappiest-child#post-2245604 Sat, 25 Jul 2015 08:43:26 +0000 Anagram 2245604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's true to an extent--esp while kids are young! When they are older and develop their own personalities and issues, then I think it's more healthy if everyone is responsible for their own happiness (as long as family is still willing to help when necessary).</p> <p>It just makes me think about my sister who is schizophrenic. My mom has had some major highs and lows with her (MAJOR highs and lows--like my sister living on the street doing god knows what to having her be on all her meds and almost "normal"), and one thing my mom does is make sure she doesn't get TOO wrapped up in my sister's highs and lows, because then my mom wouldn't be able to function at all and help my sister as much as she does. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-only-as-happy-as-your-unhappiest-child#post-2245603 Sat, 25 Jul 2015 08:41:11 +0000 Anagram 2245603@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: There my not be any sayings, but keeping your husband happy and "fulfilled" (especially in eating and sex) is pretty much the basic tenant of all marriage counseling books and anecdotal wisdom passed from one woman to another. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-only-as-happy-as-your-unhappiest-child#post-2245598 Sat, 25 Jul 2015 08:39:15 +0000 mrbee 2245598@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SugarplumsMom: Haha so there are sayings about happy kids and happy wives... are there any sayings about happy husbands? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-only-as-happy-as-your-unhappiest-child#post-2245594 Sat, 25 Jul 2015 08:32:26 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2245594@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I buy it. It's like "happy life, happy wife" :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-only-as-happy-as-your-unhappiest-child#post-2245567 Sat, 25 Jul 2015 06:38:01 +0000 Tanjowen 2245567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So.far it's been more "only as strong as much as my kid decides to sleep," kind of thing, but I can see the truth in the first article for sure as he gets older.</p> <p>We are responsible for our own unhappiness but a child is part of you. I hurt when my husband is hurt and it's even more true for the baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-only-as-happy-as-your-unhappiest-child#post-2245566 Sat, 25 Jul 2015 06:34:57 +0000 Mrs. Confetti 2245566@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom says this all the time and I think it is totally true. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-only-as-happy-as-your-unhappiest-child#post-2245561 Sat, 25 Jul 2015 05:55:40 +0000 looch 2245561@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's a statement along the lines of "a chain is only as strong as its weakest link."</p> <p>Think about it, if your kid is sad, or going through some emotional things, it can affect you as a parent. My son was recently going through some tough times at school and all I could think about was how much I would fall apart if he came to me when he was older and told me that kids were calling him names and telling him they wouldn't sit with him at lunch. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/youre-only-as-happy-as-your-unhappiest-child#post-2245550 Sat, 25 Jul 2015 02:26:33 +0000 mrbee 2245550@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just came across this saying for the first time here:</p> <p><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2015/07/24/opinion/jennifer-weiner-hello-mother-hello-daughter-texts-of-misery-from-camp.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.nytimes.com/2015/07/24/opinion/jennifer-weiner-hello-mother-hello-daughter-texts-of-misery-from-camp.html</a></p> <p>Another mom countered that parents shouldn't have to take on their child's happiness... that we're all responsible for our own happiness:<br /> <a href="http://www.beamarshall.com/blog/youre-only-as-happy-as-your-unhappiest-child/" rel="nofollow">http://www.beamarshall.com/blog/youre-only-as-happy-as-your-unhappiest-child/</a></p> <p>I dunno though. Maybe it's because my kids are still pretty young, but the saying rings true to me. You? </p>