I'm seriously considering not having a first birthday party for C. As weird as it sounds, I'm sort of emotional about sharing the day with a bunch of other people... I'd rather expend my energy on doing something fun with DH and C, then have cake at home. DH and I only get about 2 days off a month together, and one of them will be C's birthday.
Will I regret this? Has anyone else done this?
squash / 13208 posts
Its still a birthday party even if its just you, DH, and DS!
cake = party! 
1st birthday parties are more for the parents than for the kids anyway so don't feel bad if you don't have a huge party - your DS will never know!
honeydew / 7811 posts
@grizz: not exactly, but I also didn't want to share the actual birthday with anyone. So on that day (good friday), it was just me, DH and LO. We ran errands, went to the park, ate cupcakes, etc. We did have a small family party two days later though. I think our parents think I'm a little weird for not seeing them on his birthday, but oh well!
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
We had a family only party for LO's first. (MIL, FIL, BIL, BIL's SO, BIL, SIL, SIL's nephew and us 3. So 10 total.) I was totally fine with not having a big party but my friends weren't happy with me. 
They invited us over for a playdate (a few days after LO's real bday) and it was a surprise party....catered lunch, 3 families, gifts, cake, decorations, favors. Nice but it made me feel like sh*t.. 
You should definitely do what you want! 
nectarine / 2631 posts
We didn't have a party on DS's actual birthday- that day I wanted to spend with just him and DH!!
persimmon / 1230 posts
We weren't planning on having a 1st birthday party for DS. It ended up that my FIL and his wife in town on DS's actual birthday and staying with us, so we had brownies, wore party hats and sang happy birthday. Extremely low key.
I definitely would not have regretted just spending the day with DH and DS.
coconut / 8498 posts
We did have one, and it was fun, but it was definitely more for us. We would have been just as happy doing something as a little family of 3. We considered not having one this year for her 2nd birthday, but we're using it as an excuse to have our first big cookout of the year
grapefruit / 4669 posts
I didn't want to have a huge party for DD, so we only invited mine and DH's immediate families. I still get sassy comments from friends and cousins about it, but I'm glad we did it that way!
eggplant / 11716 posts
I was all set to just have a little cake at home with just the 3 of us----but *now* we might have a small family joint celebration with my mom whose birthday is the week before (just immediate family--about 7 ppl) and then a second joint celebration with DH's immediate family (whose parents are having a housewarming party the week after and want a cake for her there, too).
Either way, I am not planning a "real", elaborate first birthday party.
grapefruit / 4278 posts
We just had a small gathering with immediate family and one set of good friends. I didn't make a huge deal out of it, I think I would have regretted not doing something. Or rather, regretted all the crap I would have gotten from the grandparents.
pineapple / 12234 posts
That's exactly what we did with B. Especially because DH and I rarely had time off together then. I wanted to just share the day doing special firsts. We went to a big zoo and spent most of the day there then had cake at home. We also had family photos taken a few days later.
cantaloupe / 6630 posts
We kind of did both. On her actual birthday we had a family photo shoot in the park, went out for lunch, then the aquarium, had her favourite food for dinner then did a cake smash, just the three of us. Her party was at the weekend and still a lot of fun. I loved the way we did it.
pear / 1672 posts
Us! My mom came to town, and we had mini-celebrations with just the fours of us. We had cake. She opened presents, and that was it. It was fine. She was happy. I took her shopping for books, too.
pomegranate / 3411 posts
@Mamaof2: this.
what you described IS a perfect first birthday party.
I had a party, but only with a small amount of people primarily because i had it at home and don't have a big place, but i liked the intimate feel of it. It was on the weekend. On LO's actual bday, we went out for dinner just me, LO and DH and had him open his first present. I saved the cake for the weekend party though.
papaya / 10473 posts
I just told my mom, and she isn't happy...to say the least. I might have to come up with a compromise because they never get to see C anyway, and they were really looking forward to it.
GOLD / watermelon / 14076 posts
We're purposefully having her party the day before her actual birthday because I want to do something as just a family on her birthday. Her party won't be huge...probably 20 people or less.
pomelo / 5678 posts
@grizz: we are not having a party! It'll be just dh and I and we are taking her to the zoo and maybe a campfire and hike. Definitely the zoo and a picnic. I have felt like the only person in the world (not having one, but I know that is not true.)
eggplant / 11716 posts
@grizz: what about having just you three, your parents, and DHs parents? Still small and no need to do anything elaborate. It doesn't have to be on his birthday...it can be the weekend before and after. Kind of the grandparents' birthday for him?
papaya / 10473 posts
@lawbee11: I think that's what we might do! His cake will be ready the day before, so we could pull it off.
papaya / 10473 posts
@Greentea: That's exactly what I want to do on his actual birthday! All three of us love the zoo, and there's a nearby farm to table restaurant where they always dote on C.
GOLD / watermelon / 14076 posts
@grizz: Maybe even if you don't have a formal party with invites you could invite the grandparents over for cake the day before his birthday? My mom would be really sad if we didn't have at least a little something for M, too.
papaya / 10473 posts
@lawbee11: Definitely! I called my mom to talk to her about it, and I was surprised by how sad she was. We definitely have to have something with them involved.
honeydew / 7504 posts
If I could do it again, I honeslty probably wouldn't have had one. We did it for the grandparents, mostly. I don't plan to have another birthday party till he's old enough to care. It's just so much effort. I think for the next few years we'll do what we did this year on his actual birthday - we had a special dinner, read "On the Night You Were Born" at bedtime, and then Hubs and I popped a bottle of champagne at 11:46pm (the time he was born). In the future, we'll add cupcakes or some kind of sweet treat for him, too.
pear / 1698 posts
We just had Grandma come over and the 4 of us went to the zoo, then came home and had cake. Super low key!
nectarine / 2085 posts
We didn't have a party for LO's first birthday. We went to his favorite place during the day and had a quiet evening in. I made a nice dinner and a cake and then we did a video chat with his grandparents while I helped him open his presents. It was perfect for us and I don't have any regrets.
pomegranate / 3577 posts
We're not really having one. Just a cake. We'll probably have the "party" rather early too. I do not want this little guy totally hyped on caaaaaaaake! when I'm trying to get him to sleep!
grapefruit / 4997 posts
Where there is a cake, candles, and wishes to make, there is a party, even if it's only a party of two or three!
pineapple / 12566 posts
We didn't have a real party. DS's birthday is at the end of December and my ILs flew in from France for the holidays and his birthday. It was just the 5 if us and we did cake and presents, but no real party. I honestly don't even remember what else we did that day!
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