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@catomd00: just read your post above and our situations sound very similar. Hugs to you as well!
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My mom and I are close. Some of that is because she was a single gle mom until I was in grade school. So it was just us! Some of it is because my sisters were so much younger than me that we worked together as a team. I did a lot of cooking and carpooling in high school.
It's hard to pinpoint something that she did that made our relationship solid, be a use a lot of it was that us against the world mentality. I never felt judged by her. I always felt like she listened to me. My family is very snuggly and huggy so I never felt too old for a cuddle with my mom. As a child she didn't try to be my friend. That makes a big difference. I knew she was the grown up and would take care of me. -
@MaryM: Yes to the non-judgmental support. My mom would have responded similarly.
Also, there were no taboo topics growing up. So I could talk to her about sex, deinking, whatever.
We talk or text most days now and when we had kids we moved back home so we live about ten minutes apart. I see her most weeks, sometimes more than once. My kids adore her. When we got pregnant with our second baby my husband informed me that he needed my mom there again for support and that he wouldn't have made it through my first labor without her. -
We have what feels like a slightly distant friendship. It's very sad for me, but I don't think I can, or should, change the way I feel. We're too different and have very different expectations about what being a parent means, and the less I expect, the less I feel resentful.
Ugh... My parents tell me that I would cry for her when I was five months old, she must have been my world and my comfort, and now we've ended up with this relationship... I look at my own little girl and hope that we're not doomed to the same story. She deserves better.
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I'm very close to my mom and talk to her almost everyday. As a kid I was attached to her hip all the time, but once I got a little older and was a preteen and teen we started fighting more just cause of my awful teen attitude. As I got older we stopped arguing so much and are very close. I'm comfortable talking to her about anything going on in my life and both her and my dad have always been so supportive, I'm very lucky to have a such a close family.
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@Mama Bird: hugs. I was attached to my moms hip as a toddler. And now I am on the verge of cutting all ties. It's so very sad.
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I'm gonna be a real downer on this post lol. I have cut all ties with my mother, and haven't spoken to her in 2ish years. My mother is an alcoholic, who at 50yo has a mental capacity of a 15 year old. Right now my great grandmother (who is 94) takes care of her, but I assume she'll need to be put in a home at some point. Once I became pregnant it was like a switch flipped in my life and I realized that the things she did to me and my sisters (I'm the oldest) as children were beyond wrong, and I would never put my own child through anything remotely similar. Ive has many years to reflect, and I've gone through all the stages that a child with an alcoholic parent goes through. The end result being cutting ties when the person refuses to receive help. The only part that bothers me anymore is she'll never know her grandson. And one day mommy is going to have to answer the question of why doesn't mommy have a mommy, like daddy does? I know that all sounds sad and terrible and I'm sorry to bring the post down.
so on a happier note, me and my MIL are super close. Me and DH have been together since I was a sophomore so I've practically lived with her most of my life. She is who I look to to represent what a mother should be. She is the most caring person I know and would do anything for her kids and grand kids. I love her a lot
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