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I did it with both my kids. With my oldest, he was 5 months and both Hubs and I left him for two days. We left him with my in-laws and he was totally fine. He was used to taking a bottle, so there was no issue, and he had a fun time. He was definitely excited to be reunited though!

The second time was with my youngest when he was 6 months. I left him with my husband. Again, zero issues! It was definitely harder for ME to leave them than it was for them. They were fine! Out of sight, out of mind, apparently!

Your LO will be totally fine.

This is hard. But you can do it!

My mom watched my daughter when I was on a work trip and she did wonderfully. I was only an hour away though. She was probably 5 months old and EBF.

It might not be ideal, but I know when my friend was in labor, and had a home birth, her doula had a 4 month old, and brought the baby with. Pretty much just kept him in the carrier the whole time, and just nursed when she needed to. Is that an option?

@IRunForFun: could DH and baby go and just cut it short to one night? Then it's a little easier on everyone but mil gets her visit. It sounds like you have anxiety about the time away AND the time with MIL.

To answer your question, no I never spent two nights away from an under 6 month old, because neither of my kids really took a bottle

i had to be away for three nights for work when my son was six months old and primarily BF'd. i hated being away but he did great with dad and i was able to keep up my pumping even despite a grueling work schedule. in some ways i think it was good for me to learn to let go and let my husband be primary caregiver for a few days. when everything went great i realized i probably didn't have to put quite so much pressure on myself to be the lead parent at all times.

all of that said, if you don't want to do it your MIL can deal.

While I'm sure it would all be fine if DH took her alone for the weekend, in your situation I would have a) had DH tell MIL "too bad, so sad" and delayed the trip (stuff happens!) or b) gone on the trip with DH and DD and told my client to call me at the VERY FIRST sign of anything happening and then make the 3 hour drive back should she go into labor. But, I'm from MT so a 3 hour drive seems like nothing to me

I lean towards what @Truth Bombs: said. Especially if she doesn't sleep through the night. It would be really difficult to plan how much milk to send and keep it from going bad if you don't know how often she's going to wake up and if she's used to nursing back to sleep.

If you really want to make MIL happy I'd suggest your DH go for one day, no over nights. So he could leave early in the morning, say 7am and be there by 10. Visit with his mom, she could still have her BBQ, and then he could leave at 6 or 7pm and be home by 9 or 10. It's a long day for your DH, but it is his mother and ultimately might be easier than solo-ing for 48 hours.

Three hours isn't that far...could you go but plan to drive back alone if your client goes into labor? And bring milk with you in a cooler with ice just in case you need it. That way it wouldn't be a full two days even if she goes into labor at some point. My doctor told me it "could be quite soon" and it took over a week still, so that probably colors my view a little.

ETA: if that's not possible, I agree with @ShootingStar that one night of your DH going alone is a good compromise idea.

I was away from my 5 week old for two nights to move us into the new house and DH visited MIL. At the time I was BFing, so the worse part was being engorged, pumping and having to toss my liquid gold. The two of them were totally fine although DH says LO cried for most of the four hour trip to his mom's house. Then, soon after I returned to work I had an OOT business trip. Since having a dehydration scare when LO was first born we had no problem giving him formula when breastmilk wasn't available. My LO did not have nipple confusion or issues going from FF to BM. If we had experienced feeding issues then I probably would not have been able to leave him so young.

I did it at 5/6 months. For like 5 nights! DH and I went on a trip that was previously planned and it was glor.i.ous. My mom watched him and said he didn't even notice we were gone. That's like the PERFECT age to go away.

ETA: but it sounds like more of your issues are with MIL vs actually being away. I strongly dislike my MIL and I'd have a hard time with that too. Although I'd also love to be alone in my own home for a weekend. It's a toss-up.

So I personally wouldn't do it, but that's me. I'm sure my kids would have been fine, I just wouldn't have wanted to run the risk and it would have been too hard on me emotionally. I think your daughter will be fine if that's what you want to do. If, however, you're just doing it because you don't want your MIL to get angry I think you shouldn't do it. There's no need to cause yourself and potentially your daughter the stress.

But - I don't know exactly what your requirements are as a birth doula, but three hours isn't that bad - couldn't you just tell her to call if you she starts having any contractions? Usually you wouldn't go over there at the very first signs of labour anyway, right, you'd tell her to monitor and call you back once things had progressed? Or would a doula go over immediately?

@IRunForFun: maybe you'd surprise yourself! I often find that the anxiety leading up to leaving my son is WAY worse than actually being apart. Sort of like out of sight out of mind. Not that I forget or don't miss him, but it's not as bad as I thought it would be.
Maybe make a list of things you could/would like to do while they're gone and it will help you decide. Either projects or just a show you've been wanting to binge or personal maintenance. That way if they do go you know you have things to do (or not do. Whatever )

If YOU aren't ok with it then that's that. Everyone else just has to deal with that and you're not being unreasonable.

That said, for me, I don't mind it and honestly think the months before separation anxiety even when they are super little is the easiest time to do so. Not sure if it's already set in at six months. I will be leaving my third for a week a month (daddy home though) from basically birth!! I probably will get judged for that but it's the nature of my work and I'm used to doing this with the other kids and all having my dh work nights and long hours. My oldest we went on a trip at five months and left her with grandma BUT I had anxiety and depression and it honestly helped me to take a breather. I didn't leave my son until I started this job when he was over a year old. Every situation is different and everyone has their comfort level with who they will leave their kid/s. I don't think your MIL will do any permanent damage if you do decide to let them go, but if you can't even concentrate on work I don't see the point. Your MIL can have a nice visit with DH and LO1, and you can blame it on work and leave it there.

@IRunForFun: Sounds like the issue is bigger than I gathered from your original post with the safety concerns. Safety is certainly non-negotiable! I agree with all the ladies who said you are not responsible for how your MIL or anyone else reacts to a situation. I see you've decided on a solution that you're comfortable with, and that's great!

If you're ever faced with a similar dilemma in the future, I often find that reframing a question helps me find clarity. To me the question becomes do you distrust your MIL more than you trust your husband? That's not meant to be a slam on your husband (I always assume dad and mom are equally capable of being the primary parent). I also don't think there is a right or wrong answer for everyone, only you can answer for yourself.

Hope you have an uneventful trip