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@Katrocap: Oh hun. I have been there. You have basically JUST given birth- do not be hard on yourself. Let yourself have this crash right now. It's so normal. Imagine the hormone changes and biochemical craziness going on with you right now. To be supporting a baby for almost 10 months then BAM she's out! Your body needs to adjust. It's a huge change and really tough to have an older kid as well.
I was in the SAME spot. I remember vividly thinking (this is horrible so please forgive me) "I do not want this. This was a mistake") and crying non-stop. I also did not bond with my little guy for MONTHS. I also had PPD but the first days after the adrenaline crash and stuff were the WORST It's also an ugly time of year with short days and holiday upheaval.
That's good you're on some meds if you find that they work (even if they're not working right now). If the blues go on past 6 weeks (that was when things started to turn for me) mayeb you could up? I'm not a doctor but please know your brain and body have basically been hijacked currently. That's what it feels like.

Hugs! Great advice advice but you’re definitely not alone. It’s hard and should improve!

HUGS. Depression and anxiety are so hard. I've had other major physical health issues and NOTHING compares to mental illness. You are not alone.

I felt the Baby Blues for 2 weeks (just like the books said) after DS was born. I barely ate and just generally unhappy. Once that 2 weeks was up, I felt like myself again. Hopefully the same will happen to you! But if it doesn't, there are SO many options out there. Even if it does end up being PPD or PPA, YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS. Maybe set up an appointment with your OB for sooner than they suggest? Then you can at least get the ball rolling if you need more care. Also, get an appointment with a therapist asap. Even if these feelings pass quickly, you'll feel better having established care and a plan.

@Katrocap: I cried 3-4 times at 5 days PP with my second, initially triggered by my son hugging his baby sister too hard and her crying, which made him cry feeling like he’d done it wrong. I felt so awful that my sweet boy was trying so hard and felt he’d failed. It gutted me and I sobbed. Very fortunately that was our low point, and I promise it gets better. However, you 100% need to call your doc to make sure your mental health is taken care of. S.A.D. or not, this cannot wait and you should get the support you need. All that being said, the differences in my mood with my son (born in November after DST ended) and daughter (born in July) was night and day. I figured it would be, but the extra evening light was huge for my mental well-being.

@wrkbrk: This. I had the same issues with my son. As soon as the sun went down I’d have massive anxiety. It’s such a hard time of year to have a newborn.

It’s normal to a point. If it continues past a couple weeks then I’d bring it up to my Dr.

I remember my Mom coming over and holding DD and I would just sob and sob and lie in bed with DH. It was very bizarre and I felt out of control. It resolved quickly and I was under the care of a psychiatrist. It was very scary.

@Katrocap: this was not PPD/PPA specific but I had severe anxiety when my son was hospitalized and I totally lost my appetite as well. I had to force myself to eat and drink. In times of high stress, our body goes into that primitive fight or flight mode and eating becomes a lower priority.

@Katrocap: just checking in, how are you doing?

@Katrocap: awww sounds like you are still having a hard time ... Totally normal . I felt the same, like a few good days then a rough period. And the pressure of "being in the moment" and people telling you to appreciate everything is pressure you do not need. One thing I am working on is taking one day at a time. That's hard when you're anxious and a little depressed but it takes some stress off worrying about tomorrow and the future.

@Katrocap: let's see, at my 6 week appt I definitely was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. 2 or 3 months later the real dark days were over (also coincided with spring here in NY).
Unfortunately I did battle some mild depression for about a year BUT motherhood at that time did NOT suit me, my son was extremely reserved, grumpy and non-interactive (didn't smile for 4 months). We did not bond until he was like 20 months. Very sad for me, I also was not on any meds or going to therapy. I just didn't like being a mom.
This time has been much better. I enjoy the distraction of my toddler! It's broken up the tedium. I don't know if that helps. I just hope you know this is not permanent and not your *future self" so to speak. You will heal!!

@Katrocap: me too. Is anything working for you? My husband went back to work and it's been really hard. My three-year-old has become quite a little monster too. I've had some paranoia

I would say it's more unenjoyable than depressing but still...

I'm sorry you are struggling!!! I had my second in mid-Oct and even with DH home on leave, the first 3 months were REALLY hard. After DH being back at work 2 weeks, I realized my anxiety was not helping the situation (definitely my normal high levels of anxiety, in a new life situation. exacerbated by PPA) and went to my OB and got on a low dose of Lexapro. Life changing- it's still not easy but I feel so much less like i'm the verge of a panic attack at all times. Yes, DD eating more during the day so she can sleep more at night (that got better around 9-10 weeks) helped! But just going to my doc (I called, said I needed a mental health visit- which is someting I learned from these boards! and they got me in the next day) to talk and hear how normal this much difficulty is, and then actually doing something concrete to help myself, made the most difference. Thinking of you.

@Katrocap: Thats something! So good that you're seeing friends and doing some exercising. Happy to hear yesterday was such a good day. Sometimes it truly is one day at a time - so cheesy but maybe true.