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I'd style it a ballet party, not ballerina, and go with a 'costume' theme. There aren't any superheroes in any of the ballets I'm familiar with, so I'd try to get generic capes and masks/crowns.

As to the tutu question, no, my son wouldn't want to wear one, and wouldn't have wanted to at 4. But a superhero-specific cape probably wouldn't appeal as much as a generic pretend-it's-whatever-you-want cape. The plain one we've got still gets a lot of use.

I have a 4 yo girl but we've been to a lot of preschool friend birthday parties this year and based on what I've seen barely any of the boys would want a tutu (if any, really.) In my experience at this age they are just getting the idea of gendered clothes and activities and therefore very into that, even despite parents not encouraging it. I wouldn't waste $ on extra tutus but I like the idea of more costumes for both, like swans, soldiers, princes etc. Maybe just costumes to wear and something different for favors.

What about some of those ribbons on sticks. I could see that being appealing to everyone. Can get different pastel colors like blue green pink purple yellow.
I'm not saying give those to boys only and tutus to girls only, but you could have tutus AND ribbons and everyone can take and use whatever they want.
My son is 2.5 and I don't think he has any idea what's girly and what's boyish. He actually loves ballerinas (they learned about them during arts week at school). But maybe 4yo are different.

@Foodnerd81: We did a ballet themed joint birthday party for our girls last year, and we did invite boys--we didn't have tutus to wear at the party itself, but just did the invitations and decor sort of ballet themed. I didn't want it to be a pink explosion, so I picked a color theme of pink, purple, aqua, and yellow and I felt that made it all more gender neutral. And we added a boy ballet dancer to the invite. Here's the invite with the addresses deleted.

My DS is 4 and he'd probably wear a tutu! But he is obsessed with princesses.

I like the idea of capes & masks. Then the kids can choose what they want. I really think all the kids care about is having fun.

I love the idea of a ballet themed party! My son is 5, and he takes ballet because he wants to be in the Nutcracker as a soldier. Swords and toy drums would be fitting. Capes are totally awesome too! Its all about that fantasy world. I just know my son would be happy about the ballet themed party.

My son is 6 now, but he loved pink when he was 4 and I think he would have worn a tutu/crown. He was invited to a Frozen themed party a few months ago and he was the only boy. He wore an astronaut costume (almost all of the girls wore princess dresses) and he had a great time. I think having a variety of costume accessories is a good idea.

My son would have been fine with a crown, but I think if you're going to have other favors, you're better off getting either everything the same or nothing at all because kids, no matter what your intentions are, tend to see things as black and white and have the whole "but I want that!!" thing going on at this age.