Hellobee Boards

Yeah, I didn't really care and LO 1 never mentioned it but I heard parents talking about it at another party. I figure that parties are expensive and head counts, etc.

We got invited to one that our neighbour's son didn't (they're in the same class) - I was the one who spilled the beans ("Are you guys going to Michael's party?" "Uh, we weren't invited") and I felt guilty.

I haven't had this happen (to my knowledge) yet because my LO is not quite 3, but I wouldn't consider this a snub at all. I figure different people have different budgets and family sizes and friend groups and if they want a party at a play place or in their home and they only want 10 kids there, and they pick their child's best friends, then oh well.

Especially as kids get older, this will happen a lot and I think the best thing you can do is not make a big deal of it, explain that different families have different requirements for size of parties, etc.

We're about to have a smallish birthday party for my girls, and because our families all live far away, we are only inviting local friends. I have a HUGE group of mom friends with kids our age, but some of these people I only see very occasionally. We aren't inviting all of them--we are looking at a small play place with packages and we're going to do the 15 kids package. LO's "close" friends only number about 7, and for the baby there are only 5. So I'm going to cap it at that. And it's not because I don't like the other kids in our extended group, it's just because I feel awkward inviting people to a birthday party when we don't hang out much already--it seems like a gift grab to me. That's just my personality. We are inviting only 2 kids from LOs daycare class--but I'm asking the teacher to put those invites in the backpacks and not mention it at all.

There are 22 kids in LOs school class, so that's just too many. Most of them, I've never even seen their parents because I pick up earlier than most.

My son is only 2.5 so I would imagine it wouldn't be such a big deal if this happened but as far as I know we haven't been left out. On the flip side we have gone to parties where it was obvious not the whole class was invited to, but I was just careful not to mention it to other parents and it actually didn't seem odd at all to me because it was for kids that my son plays with the most, so if parents were going to pick and choose I can see why my LO was invited over others.

@pastemoo: even if you don't pass out invites at school?

yes its happened and its fine - I don't invite the entire class to our parties either

LO is not in school but in my mom's group we have been invited to some birthday parties and not others. I don't mind because if you invite the whole group that's like 100+ people. But it has been a little awkward when a couple times I've said, "See you at Sally's party Saturday?" and get a blank stare. I've definitely learned to not assume.

LO will have just started preschool a couple months before her 3rd birthday. I don't know what to expect - if it seems like she has made friends at school we will definitely invite them but we may just skip inviting her classmates altogether to avoid this.

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: yeah,

@daniellemybelle: I think we went to two, I never worried about going to all of them since I knew they weren't "real" invites.

Yes and it's no big deal for us :). Most of the popular kid venues are capped around 15-20 kids and with family and non-school friends, there's no way to invite the entire class (17 kids, plus a neighboring class of 18 kids), especially since most of my kids' classmates also have siblings that regularly tag-along to parties. I WISH I could invite her whole class but it's just not doable for our budget/space. The teachers are very good at quietly slipping invites into cubbies and/or we just use email. The kids celebrate with the whole class in other ways (singing bday song, class snacks, etc). Last year we didn't have a party and I just sent favors for the entire class. Maybe my feelings will change about it if/when DD doesn't get invited to a party she really wants to attend, but so far that hasn't happened and the kids don't seem to rub it in each others' faces at this age. Thankfully we've been able to reciprocate invites for the parties she's attended so far.