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@aprild: well, all I can say is that super, super sucks for you and your kiddo. Who would have a play space party but not invite their whole class?

Can you reschedule? Do you have a lot of non-class friends and family to invite? I don't know what I'd do, but I'm really sad you are in this position.

@aprild: that’s a tough one. How much do you think your son cares about the people there? Are there maybe 1-2 good friends that would be there regardless?

My daughter got bad croup the night before her 4th bday and we had to cancel. I knew it would be way too hard to reschedule, so we didn’t even try, I just texted cancellations. She was still pretty shy at that point and was very happy to have the special decorations and treats with her little bro in our dining room. This year at 6 the friends would have really mattered though. At her 5th we had a small party anyway and it was a smaller handful she really played with. But depending on personality a small party might be just fine!

ETA that party we cancelled we got everything back ($) since it was at a city Rec center. And i called them the day of! I wouldn’t have expected that from most venues but you never know.

I’d Reschedule and send an evite. I think some kids don’t get paper invitations especially if they are distributed in cubbies at school.

My son and another boy in his class last year had a bday party scheduled for the same day. It sucked and was awkward... I wasn’t sure what to do since I happened to send the paper invites before she sent her invites. She emailed me privately to let me known the situation. Anyway, it all worked out and she rescheduled since she didn’t want to have kids not show up (her time was weird too at like 5:30 PM for a 4 year old party).

I totally get feeling nervous no one will attend the party so be to sure, reschedule it.

I would just leave it. While it's really unfortunately that the parties are the same day, at least they aren't at the same time. Even if you reschedule, there's no guarantee that someone else isn't having a party on the new date. Also, I really doubt at that age that the other family is singling out just one kid out of a class of 20 not to invite. Maybe they only invited half the class or 5-6 kids. Personally, at 5, I wouldn't mind my LO going to two back to back parties.

I would leave it. This kind of situation is crummy and having a wall with all the birthdays on it very visible in DD’s classroom makes it easier for parents to check in with each other when scheduling parties which after one mix up they definitely do now (there are several sets of kids sharing the same bday weekends in November and December and no overlapping parties this year). This happened with 2 girls in her room: one parent put out the invitations very early in the morning, the other mom came in and saw them, contacted the first mom, and they combined the parties. This way they were able to invite the entire class and split the cost. One parent had planned on inviting everyone and the other hadn’t so it worked well. Play places can be expensive—we did DD’s at the same place and couldn’t invite the whole class. It was a flat rate for 8 kids, $18 for each additional kid, and there are like 22 kids. These moms weren’t the kind whose kids hung out outside of school so I was impressed they came together to do this. Also it is SO strange the other parent planning a party or a few others who were invited haven’t contacted you. That would be my first thing: just a simple text “Hey, just wanted to let you know we were invited to a party for Sally the same day and got the invites last week.”

I'd let it be. The other parent probably only invited a select few children but it is strange both parties are at the same place, near the same time. I would just enjoy the party at the time it is with the kids who decide to show up.

@aprild: I'm sorry this happened to you. Last year, on the morning I was planning to send out the e-vites for DD1's 5th birthday, an invitation for a classmate's birthday arrived in my inbox. I got a pit in my stomach, worried there would be a date/time conflict, and rushed to get ours out as well so that people wouldn't quickly accept his, then decline ours because they didn't want to do two parties in one weekend. It turned out his was the day before, and both parties had great attendance.

I was a bit miffed, because I always try to look at the class birthday list and speak to parents whose kids' birthdays are close to mine to avoid this kind of conflict - maybe that's over the top, but parties are expensive and you have to pay the deposit so far in advance...it just seems kind of smart to me to give a heads up! This kid's birthday was actually 2 months LATER (his mom didn't want to throw a party just before school started and he didn't know his new classmates), so I was caught really off guard and hadn't checked in with her to coordinate on party timing. I have one friend who I always coordinate with because my middle daughter and her eldest daughter have birthdays very close together, so at least for now, a lot of our guest lists overlap, and we don't want to screw up each other's parties.

I've definitely shuttled my kids to more than one party on the same day. And honestly, being in one place makes it that much easier to attend both. It's disappointing to you as the parent, but I don't think the kids will care, so I wouldn't stress. And hey! At least your LO's party is first!! Most places I have hosted parties won't let you reschedule for any reason, including illness (I KNOW, right?!?!?!) but I wonder if given the circumstances they'd offer any accommodation, like letting you not serve pizza and taking that off your bill, or replacing it with snacks instead.

Lastly, ditto what everyone else says on the RSVPs...people tend to hold out til the last minute, in my experience.

@PinkElephant: I totally feel you on the need for coordinating. My friends and I are apparently super weird and all have fall babies born Sept-Dec so it is like a very well orchestrated dance to schedule all the parties without conflict!! November is the absolute worst because we have 11/17, two on 11/20, 11/24, 11/26 and Thanksgiving to work around (and two of those dates are my kids so it's double confusing for me!).

@aprild: I would leave it. Lots of people are slow to RSVP. And honestly, my husband and I would take our kids to both of these parties. We'd go grab some food or something in between the two and our daughter would think it was a super fun day! Better than two back to back parties on opposite sides of town!

@Truth Bombs: I agree. We are not inviting the whole class to DD's 6th birthday party. It would just be too much and this stressed mama would not be able to handle 25 kids. So, we are limiting her to 6, since she will be turning 6. The rule is that you send them in the mail and we received the whole class's address list at the beginning of the school year.

I also know that DD has been invited to several birthday parties where only a few of the kids were invited. I can't imagine going to all these birthday parties and buying for kids that I don't even know what they look like.

I'd leave it as is.

I would leave it. I invited a lot of kids from DS's class assuming that most wouldn't show, but we ended up with 9 kids! (2 and 3-year-olds) I wouldn't be too surprised that ppl wait to the last minute to RSVP. I had to change time and location for my son's party, so I just slipped a note in the cubbies of the kids whose parent's I wasn't already in contact with. All but one texted or called me to RSVP at least a week before.

I am only slow to RSVP if I have to call someone for it. If you send me an evite or tell me that texts are okay on the number you provided, I pretty much respond right away. I have had similar experiences when I was planning, I would send out the email and I would get the most responses right in the first few hours after sending.