I feel like there are a million angles to my question, so I'll try to keep it as simple as possible. The overall question -

If you have more than one child, particularly if they're close in age, does having a specific kind of party for one child dictate the kind of party the other child will receive? As in, do they have to be "equal"? So if one child has a big school party (inviting up to 18 guests and possibly some siblings), the other one can't just have a small family/family friend party (inviting 2-3 friends and our family)?

In the past, I've had playdate-style birthday parties with just a few close friends (people I'd consider whole-family friends), or a family party on a weekend with a few friends and those same whole-family friends).

This year, DD1 (turning 5) is in a pre-k class where most of the kids are having weekend venue parties and inviting the whole class. She's been to 3 since starting school in January. I feel like we may have to reciprocate (although we can probably get away with not doing it and not being super obvious about it, because her birthday is after school lets out).

DD2 goes to the same school, but will be turning 3 in May, and the big parties are less of a "done thing" in her class. Her age being what it is, she's not super tight with kids in her class, and I don't know those parents well, unless they have siblings in DD1's class as well....only one kid in her class (one of the siblings) has had a big party, so she's not confident that birthday = giant party (the way DD1 is).

I guess my question is multi part -

(a) Do you always give your kids the "same" kind of birthday party; and

(b) Regardless of what I do for DD2 (whose birthday is first), would you feel compelled to throw DD1 a giant party after school lets out, a smaller party with just a few (school) friends, or just do a family thing?