Hellobee Boards

We've been trying to do 123 Magic with my wild, energetic 3 yo. He sounds a lot like your son. Super sweet, but not a lot of control over his attention and emotions. He's not a great listener and has big emotions that cause physical outbursts when he doesn't get his way (he hits and bites us when we tell him no). If he doesn't listen we've been giving him 3 chances to follow directions or he loses a toy or activity for that day. If he hits or bites (or anything physical) after 3 counts he goes to his room for a timeout. He needs to be separated from us when he gets physical or he will continue to hit, etc.

I like 123 Magic and I feel like it's helping him make better decisions. It really gives him the chance to correct his behavior before consequences kick in. It feels more "real life" to me since we as adults often get second chances to correct our behaviors. There is a book, but I think if you google it there are a lot of great outlines. You can also use it to encourage good behaviors, but the only thing we've done I that category is working on cleaning up.

Mini trampoline? Earlier bedtime? Wine and chocolate for you

@bhbee: I used an outline because I've heard the book is a bit dry but it has really helped, even though we aren't as constant with it as the author tells you to be. The consequences we chose were the ones that seemed to bother him the most. He didn't care about most consequences, but he hates losing toys. He also seems to hate being shut in his room, even though timeouts in his crib were inaffective 🤷‍♀️ I often give him a chance to earn the toy or activity back, but if he gets to another count of 3 he loses that chance and it is gone for the day.

We started this after one particularly horrible night when we couldn't get him to calm down or listen to us at all. Since then I've noticed he stops and listens a lot more after he hears me tell him 1. We still get to 3 a lot, but I am impressed with how much it has helped.

Also, we make sure to leave the house everyday (I SAH) and he does a physical activity (we live in the Midwest, so during the winter it is indoor mall playgrounds, McDonald's play places, etc). If he doesn't get enough energy out during the day he is a nightmare in the evenings and bedtimes can be bad.

My son is 2.5. We had a lot of tantrums around 2 years old and we instituted a timeout chair in the formal living room. What we did was pick him up, put him in the chair, but sat next to him while he had the fit (leaving him there just got him to leave and then it spiraled into a second argument).

Once he calms a little bit, I tell him what I expected of him and what I did not want him to do. Then I ask him if he understood. He has to say "yes" or "okay Mommy" Then I make him apologize for whatever he did wrong. Then I say "I forgive you" and then offer a hug and say "I love you very much." We do this as many times as necessary.

Now at 2.5, I will ask him if he needs a timeout. He can either fix it, or we go to the chair. Usually now he doesn't flip out completely and wail unless he's in major trouble. Instead he kinda fake cries or snuffles or just sits there and listens to me correct him and calms down a bit.

One thing that really helps him settle is physical interactive play. Not just getting him outside and running around (which is important), but physical play that involves touching from me or my husband. Wrestling, throwing him over our shoulder and spinning, hanging him upside down, tickle fights, blowing raspberries, etc. We play a game called "Jaws" where DH or I sing the theme from "Jaws" and make pincer hands and chase him around the house while he screams until he "catch" him. We also do something called "Hug Monster" and we "attack" him out of nowhere and yell "HUG HUG HUG!!! HUG HUG HUG HUG!!" while squeezing him really tight and rolling him around. I also do a version with kisses where I tackle him and start kissing his face and yelling "I love you so much! I love you so much!" I don't know why, but these things really help.

Also, we have a strict predictable evening routine and use a kitchen timer for transitions if he's lagging over something. That way when he has a tantrum, we try to reason with him by saying we do this every single night.