-
@JoyfulKiwi: I don't think so. Worth a try.
-
Note: if discussions of rape and vicim blaming make you uncomfortable or are triggers for anyone, please skip this post.
@littlebug: Hugs. I am also a rape survivor. I also didn't report my rape to the authorities, 13 years ago or at any time since. In my case, the perpetrator was someone I had considered a friend; someone who I had "turned down" in the past (most recently the previous night); someone who was well respected by his peers - a poster boy, if you will; someone who took advantage of me at my most vulnerable; someone who did not care about my consent.
It was very much a case of rape culture. He bragged about getting with me, said I was easy. My boyfriend at the time did not support me when I said it was not consensual (it took me years to say rape), and then broke up with me, because he respected the guy. I was mocked and called a slut by classmates, mostly all friends of his or his girlfriend, but also by a few supposed friends of mine.
All of this happened at our nation's military college, an institution designed to groom future leaders. The perpetrator of my rape has been promoted ahead of many of our peers, and is still considered a poster boy. In the last year, sexual assault in the military has been in the forefront of the news, and a special investigation ordered by the government. Recently, all serving members were "encouraged" (read, ordered) to complete an anonymous survey detailing our experiences with sexual assault, sexualized discussions, and unwanted attentions over our careers and over the past year. It was disheartening to recall how many instances (not just the rape) I was reporting. What bothered me the most was the fact that at no point was I asked, why I didn't report any of these actions. If I had been, I could have answered a hundred different ways. And so could so many other women (as well as those men who have survived sexual assault).
-
@littlebug: @Astro Bee:
-
@littlebug: @Astro Bee:
It's so discouraging that we STILL live in a rape culture. That's not the society I want my children to grow up in. I want to live in a society where rapists are ostracized and victims are believed and supported.
So much love to you ladies who have experienced this. I hope the next generation has it better.
-
@littlebug: @Astro Bee:
I apologize for the wall of text, and this comes with a trigger warning as well.
I too am a rape survivor - and in my case, twice. I reported it both times, and both times was told it was my fault (did you know that sexual assault survivors are actually at a higher risk to be re-victimized?).
The first time, I was a sophomore at an Ivy League college, and my rapist was my best friend's boyfriend. I was drunk, and upset by something dumb I said and turned to him to vent / commiserate. I pressed charges within the college because the local police convinced me my case wouldn't go anywhere in the courts. The Dean of the college presided over my case. My rapist was my class president, and all around golden boy. He was on the cover of our Alumni magazine the month of my hearing. Our student handbook says that being under the influence means zero consent, and multiple people testified as to my inebriation that night. The Dean, when he found him "not responsible", told me in front of my rapist and the others on the committee that I should get help for my drinking problem so that "things like this don't continue to happen to girls like you". So, because I was drunk one night of my life, I had a drinking problem and was the one at fault. I then endured months of him stalking me and taunting me. I finally had to go to the police to get a stalking letter issued against him to get him to leave me alone. I lost most of my friends, including my best friend / his girlfriend. Pretty much no one believed me. My college still reveres and honors him.
The second time, I was on vacation at the beach and had a date rape drug slipped in my drink by a young military guy. I went to the hospital, but they delayed drawing my blood for so long that nothing conclusive showed up. They collected my clothes (we had been out at the clubs, and I was dressed in a short skirt and revealing top) did a sexual assault kit - which absolutely makes you feel re-victimized. I had to tell my story over and over to detectives and submit to their questioning, as did my friends. A few weeks later the SVU detective called me and told me the prosecuter declined to pursue my case because of how I was dressed and that I had been flirting with him and dancing with him in public, so it was a loser case. Again, I was told it was my fault.
I still have issues around sex. I'm not comfortable with my body or my sexuality, and it's been almost 20 years. Being a rape victim is a life sentence. It's forever.
But hey, I'm sorry this jerk doesn't enjoy his steak anymore. That's a damn shame. <sarcasm>
@DillonLion: Your quote really resonated with me. I've shared it with some other groups I'm in.
Rape culture is a real thing, and we're not doing our sons any favors by continuing it. I am working hard to raise a son to know what consent is and how to treat other people. I'm not sure how to put that into words because I'm too emotional about this, but I want to raise a boy who turns out like the ones on the bikes.
-
I've been thinking about this nonstop for the past few days. I'm curious what his mother thinks of all this? I'd be absolutely horrified if this was my son. And if that man (his father) was my husband, I'd be filing for divorce.
@ballerinabee: "Being a rape victim is a life sentence. It's forever." So true. That's what people don't understand. You don't just move on. It's always there. It permanently changed me. Sending love to you and @Astro Bee:
-
@littlebug: Yes, I've been wondering about the mother too! I'm curious about her take on this situation.
Sending
to the survivors on this thread. Your stories are so heartbreaking. I can't believe how much victim blaming is evidenced in your stories. Horrifying.
-
@littlebug: @Astro Bee: @ballerinabee: I'm so sorry that happened
and so angry for you.Not the first time I'm shocked at the people we have working as judges/prosecutors. Too many of them have no business in the justice system. Wonder what their qualifications and who holds them accountable.
-
@ballerinabee:
What an f*ing disgrace our justice system is, I am so sorry you were so betrayed, and twice. It was not your fault, and I'm disgusted that anyone made you feel that way. I am a phd student on a college campus that's been criticized (rightly) for how it horrifically inadequately deals with rape cases, and it is so incredibly frustrating.ETA: I just came across this article while scrolling NYT for election-related news: http://www.nytimes.com/2016/06/08/nyregion/schools-punished-teenagers-for-being-victims-of-sexual-assault-complaints-say.html?_r=0 This isn't a high-profile story at all (local New York Times article), and I'm sure this happens all over. Victim-blaming is so pervasive within our educational institutions, it is completely disgusting and infuriating. Like so many other people have said, we need to do better with our own children, and we need our institutions to tackle rape culture in a serious way
-
@Astro Bee: @ballerinabee: @littlebug:
️
-
New in. He is now in protective custody to keep him safe from gen pop.
-
His dad created a Facebook group to ask people to donate funds.
Page is now deleted but there is a cache of it. What is wrong with these people?!? -
@bluestriped bee: Ugh, so out of touch with reality.
-
@Astro Bee: @ballerinabee: @littlebug: So much love to you guys and THANK YOU for sharing your stories. I am so so angry for all of you. And shame on all of these authority figures that are supposed to protect you and fight for you!
-
@bluestriped bee: To clarify it sounds like a family friend set up the page. Ive heard about people in odd situations getting Go Fund Me pages and stuff set up for them when they dont really want them. It sounds like it could be some of that. Heck it could have even been a random internet stranger setting up a page trying to make the dad look even worse.
-
It's disgusting! The impact on her is far greater than on him.
The judge should have made an example of him instead of letting him off easy.All these campaigns on highschool and college campuses everywhere saying that consent can't be given when intoxicated aren't even mentioned here!
-
@T.H.O.U.: Yeah, the article said it was the dad at one point and then a family member who created the fundraiser. I think the dad was mentioned a few times so I assumed it was the dad. Yeah, so odd.
-
-
@Mrs. D: Good point -- I heard plenty of times in high school and college that a blackout drunk person cannot give consent, no matter what they say. I'm sure he has, too! The idea that he could offer anything of value in terms of alcohol education is so laughable. What's he going to say? "I ignored the times I was told a blackout drunk person cannot give consent because I didn't care, so don't be like me guys!"
ETA: I will also say that his argument that alcohol made him do it is actually super offensive to men. Because I've been very drunk around plenty of men (friends) who were also very drunk and NONE of them ever so much as attempted to touch me in an inappropriate way. Alcohol does not turn an otherwise upstanding person into a rapist.
-
This case is crazy. I saw an article today saying that the judge was receiving death threats. There is also a petition going around to get him out of his judge seat.
-
@Pumpkin Pie: It's unfortunate that he just had a 6 year term renewed because he had no one running against him.
-
I was thinking the other day that this case wouldn't have received so much attention had he received a fair sentence. The fact that he received a 6 month sentence is making the whole world go crazy (and with good reason). Love the power of social media. I sometimes wonder what would've been worse - this or a 6 year jail sentence.
-
@Pumpkin Pie: I'm wondering if the family is also getting death threats. If the judge is, the family is probably, too.
-
@Freckles: I thought the exact same thing. 6 years in jail is probably looking pretty good to Brock right now
-
I'm just catching up on this case. It is just so so crazy wrong.
That dad is out of his mind and there is something deeply wrong about him.I also read that it was actually the father who opened the fundraising account.
-
@Adira: I just shared that on Facebook last night! It's as simple as tea!
-
And now his sentence was reduced to 4 months for good behavior. http://www.dailydot.com/lifestyle/brock-turner-jail-time/?fb=dd
WTF? I really hope Karma decides to show up soon.
-
@bluestriped bee: WTF?!??!??
-
@Astro Bee: @ballerinabee: @littlebug:
@lawbee11: I saw this earlier, and totally cried when I got to "I see you."
-
@bluestriped bee: unbelievable. I can't believe nothing can be done about this!
-
@bluestriped bee: Wow! I'm at a lost for words. smh
-
I've been thinking a lot about the men who saved her. They were Swedes. Is rape culture so horribly ingrained in to us that if they had been American grad students who happened to pass by, she wouldn't have been saved? I hate to, but I believe the answer is yes. And that's a travesty.
-
@bluestriped bee: I'm so angry at this I'm shaking. They don't anticipate any misbehavior from him?! Of course not! He's a spoiled little punk who's probably crying himself to sleep at night! Man I wish they'd put him out in gen-pop...
And Joe Biden... I have no words. That letter is amazing.
-
There is a petition to have the judge removed. The goal is 1 million signatures. Link below.
-
@Pumpkin Pie: IDK, I don't think that recalling the judge is the best path. There is already a system in place to address cases where a judge made an ethically questionable ruling. I think the case should be reported to the ethics commission and they should take it from there. (And hopefully find the judge guilty and barring him from serving!) Recalling a judge because we don't like their decisions is a slippery slope. How long until judges are recalled because they struck down abortion laws or upheld anti-discrimination laws?
-
Finally, USA swimming has not condoned his actions and said he won't able able to swim in any Olympic events. http://abcnews.go.com/US/usa-swimming-bans-stanford-student-brock-turner-life/story?id=39752826
-
Thank you for the
s. @bluestriped bee: OMG! I can't even describe how angry this makes me. "The court believes that Turner is "unlikely to misbehave behind bars."" No shit, he can't rape people if he's locked up? Amazing. And he doesn't even have to share his cell?
Even at 22 I knew how futile it would be to report, this says everything: "Yet, as infuriating as Turner's special treatment continues to be, it's unfortunately not rare. According to the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN), 97 of every 100 rapists go free for their crimes. Out of every 100 rapes, only 46 are ever reported, 12 lead to an arrest, nine will be prosecuted, five will receive a felony conviction, and only three will ever serve jail time."
-
http://distractify.com/news/2016/06/15/a-little-bit-of-justice
The judge was removed from another rape case!
-
Just saw this disgusting update in this case...
Page is now deleted but there is a cache of it. What is wrong with these people?!?
WTF? 
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
128 comments