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We never did this in my family growing up, except for my godfather Uncle Doug, though he wasn't a blood relative... but he was my godfather so I don't think that counts as just a close friend. Then again my parents didn't have a lot of friends, quite frankly.
We will probably do Mr and Ms FirstName. I worked at a daycare so that's normal to me.
FWIW, when I became a teenager I started dropping the "aunt" and "uncle" labels and just used their first name. No one batted an eye.
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DS only has one biological uncle, no aunts, so our close friends are aunts and uncles.
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@plantains: I grew up saying Mrs or Mr for all adults. So even when I was in college, I called my boss Mrs. Judy. Almost twenty years later, she is still Mrs. Judy to me.
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I'm probably gonna get slammed for this, but kids calling adults "mr & mrs" totally reminds me of 1980's american telemovies. or dennis the menace. MIIISSTERRR WIIILSOOOON! To quote big fat greek wedding, its just so "dry people".
That being said, greek kids are taught to call everyone aunt & uncle, like previously said it is a term of endearment. Heck, greek kids already have about 50 biologically related aunts and uncles, what are a few more going to do? We call the neighbour grandma, and I wasn't confused if she was ACTUALLY my grandma. I had about 5 of those! Even the lady down the road was a pretend aunty! Even at age 32, if I dare call an older lady by her first name my mum will give me side eyes and then chew my ear off later hahaha
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Auntie and Uncle are the norm for all adults in my husband's culture, so LO does it for his friends but doesn't really do it for my friends.
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We have two sets of friends that we use aunt/uncle for. Other than that, friends are just friends, and family is family. For us though, we live thousands of miles from our family, so I think it'll be really lovely to have an "adopted" family for my daughter to know.
I never thought to ask those two set of friends if that's ok ... I assume so, since they're our best friends, and have a big place in our lives. I'd be honored.
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My two best friends are called Auntie--I think some friends are family!--but all of our other friends are Mr. or Miss FirstName. Maybe it was the way I was raised or the culture of where I'm from, but I find children calling adults by their first names only disrespectful.
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DH & I just had a conversation like this 2 days ago about him wanting our brand new DD to call his friend/mentor/former boss Grandpa. I don't necessarily feel that comfortable having DD call non relatives by relative names. I can't really explain why, either, but it just seems kind of weird to me & also a little bit of a slight to actual aunts, uncles, grandparents etc.
Eta: I would love if there was another different term of endearment for these special people, though. My friend on the easy coast has her DSs call people Miss or Mr (first name), which I do like for the level of respect.
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@GoGoSnoGirl: yes! I can understand it if the family is small, lives far away, or is not involved, but when it's already a large family, most live very close, and are extremely involved, it seems a little insulting to call someone else that, particularly when they are less involved.
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We do this with all our friends and neighbors, or call them grandma this or grandpa that if they're older. It's a cultural thing and pretty much everyone I know here does it. I'm pretty sure DS knows who his actual uncles and grandparents are.
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My kids call my best friend Aunt. They also have a real Aunt (my SIL) and a real Uncle (my brother). But I would say the involvement level of all parties, relative or friend, are the same. We exchange birthday and Christmas gifts with my best friend's family, just like we do with our actual families. And we invite them to our "family-only" parties.
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I did it as a kid. We are doing it with LO, it is cultural. It has its pros and cons and that was a tough one to decide so I went with the least path of resistance in this case.
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Growing up we did this - called our parents closest friends Aunt/Uncle
In my circle of friends we do this too!
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This thread is so regional/cultural. Personally, I super dislike the Mr. or Miss First Name thing that is commonly used in the south...it seems demeaning, like something you call your child's 18 year old babysitter. I was taught to use Mr. and Mrs. Last Name growing up, but I agree that society has evolved and plus now I live in the northeast, and that isn't really done here.
In my husband's culture, people would flip out over the rudeness if you used someone's first name and they are older than you---Auntie and Uncle are a must. I even call my inlaws Auntie and Uncle (as well as everyone else who's older than me in his family).
There's going to be a lot for LO to navigate as she gets older.
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I have no opinion and would never deem it disrespectful to call non family aunt or uncle. I grew up calling all my dad's friends aunt and uncle, so it was totally normal. I always knew they were friends and not blood relatives.
For our family, my LOs only have 3 uncles (with 2 aunts by marriage) and I don't use the term uncle with them, just first names. With my best friend, we jokingly call him uncle (and sometimes auntie), but it's all for fun. We don't use aunt or uncle with any of our other friends though.
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@Anagram: I'm in the south and Hispanic so I did the miss or mr thing in both spanish and English. It's just a sign of respect and how I was taught growing up. I plan to do the same for my boys. I agree that it's defintely regional/cultural! But I'm ok with that! One of my goals is to raise my boys to be gentlemen - hold the door open for others, say ma'am, etc. It's so lost today and I miss it. But then again I live in southern Louisiana where we do things a lot slower and hold on tight to old traditions.
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@lamariniere: I feel like I have a similar opinion. I honestly never grew up calling my real aunts and uncles "aunt" or "uncle." We typically just use first names around here...except for grandma and grandpa of course. I also have several friends who called me Auntie Sarah when they told me they were pregnant, and I am flattered by the title! But once their kids are old enough to talk, I would be totally fine if they called me by my first name.
I also think "auntie" vs. "Aunt" feels less formal, and more just for fun with close friends.
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I thought about it from the perspective of me being an aunt and how I feel that say, my nephew might call someone else "aunt" in my presence and it really doesn't bother me, because I subscribe to the village approach. The more love to spread around, the better.
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@Miss Sarah: I would be flattered too if I were someone's "auntie".
@looch: going along these lines, we have Kenyan friends and their child calls me "mama DS's first name", so if my kid is John, the little boy calls me "mama John". I think it's totally cute and endearing.
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@lamariniere: that is so sweet!
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I grew up calling my parents' friends aunt and uncle and we call all of our best friends auntie and uncle. DS only has one "real" aunt and uncle and they live far away, ours friends are around a lot and really love him. We want to honor them and for DS to know they are special people who care about him. We also call my mom's boyfriend Grand-(his first name). My dad passed away and we don't want to replace him but he and my mom take care of DS quite often and they've bonded. We have a small biological family so I'm trilled to have a big honorary family.
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@AmeliaBedilia: my husbands family does this because they think it is disrespectful for a child to call an adult by just their first name. I thought it was odd, but I'm used to now. Honestly, I wouldn't take any offense. There are plenty of blood related aunts and uncles who are not involved and don't deserve a special title, but get one just because. Your relationship with your nieces and nephews will be special because of the effort you put in, not because of the title they call you. But I get the weird feeling about it.
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While we don't do this with DS, my brother and SIL do it with their kids and their close friends. As their Aunt, I really don't mind it, but it bothers the heck out of my mom. I don't see the harm. My brother and SIL are really close with their friends and they see my nieces and nephews probably as often as we do. Like @looch: I'm about the "it takes a village" approach. I personally think it's awesome that they have so many people in their lives who love them as much as I do and only want to see the best for them.
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