DD turns five this month and we're having a smallish party at our house. We're going pretty low key, having some cake and a bounce house. We've never done the big, whole class birthday party (though we have certainly attended a few).
When I asked DD if she wanted to invite her class, she said only the girls (which some other parents have done). Then she said only a few of the girls. We asked her teacher, and she said do whatever - there's no obligation to invite anyone.
One of the girls she especially doesn't want to come "is always telling me what to do." I'm inviting a different girl because I really like her parents (hah). I'm worried about the others, though. I don't want to force my kid to have people at her party that she doesn't like, but I also don't want any of the girls to feel bad.