Most of the weddings we are invited to are child-free but we have two family friendly weddings coming up in the summer. I am kinda nervous about the ceremony for one of them because it will be really hot outside midday....I might get a sitter to avoid meltdowns and pick them up for the reception!
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LO hasn't been invited to a wedding we've attended, but those weddings weren't necessarily all child-free! we will all be in my SIL's wedding in june, but my parents and sister will be there to help with DD too.
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I can't remember the last time I went to a wedding with children in attendance, and I'm in the Northeast. However, if I still lived in my hometown in the Midwest then child-free weddings would be the exception, rather than the rule. I went to sooo many weddings as a kid.
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I would be unlikely to go to a wedding that was child free. I'm glad that isn't how my social circle generally does things.
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@sarac: Agreed.
We've never been invited to a childfree wedding. That said, we've had two weddings in the last year that we didn't bring the kids to -- mainly because they'd not be able to sit through the ceremony.
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All weddings on my side include the whole family. On his side there's only been two weddings since we've been together. One was and the other wasn't. We have a family wedding on his side coming up in August. Don't know yet if the girls are invited. From what we've been told it should be!
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Most weddings I have ever been to are childfree except if you are family, then you can bring children.
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I refuse to go. Makes me sound like a wet blanket...
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@Greentea: oh dang, I love childfree weddings... even after having kids!
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Only attended one wedding since having kids, but I love child free weddings!
@autumnlove I'd totally get a sitter if I were you!
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Yeah bringing kids to a wedding doesn't sound fun to me at all as a parent. I eNt to go and have fun!!
That being said, DD is a flower girl in a wedding this November and I'm pretty excited for it
but if she wasn't in the wedding party I would not bring her.
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Most of the ones I have been to are child free, with the exception of kids in the wedding party.
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Most weddings I've been to have been child free with exceptions for family sometimes. I don't think I'd want to bring DD to a wedding. Doesn't sound like a fun time for me an DH.
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@luckypenny: Agreed!
We have a family friendly wedding coming up this summer and... we're not bringing L! I want to go and have fun and dance and have a few glasses of wine while I socialize with some friends I haven't seen in a while.
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We're traveling for a wedding in May and it's childfree. It's going to be so hard to find childcare in a strange place. I'm so disappointed because I'll have a 3 month old. I don't want to leave him with a stranger! It's going to be really hard on us. I think weddings are a celebration of family and kids should participate... but that's just me! We got a babysitter for all the kids at our wedding and parents and kids alike had a blast!!! There were activities and dress up for the kids and parents could drop in and check on them at any time.
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@luckypenny: My LO was a flower girl last weekend and we had my mom pick her up after the ceremony so we could to to the reception child-free!
I haven't been to any weddings that are explicitly child-free, but most of them are in the evening so I feel like that's an implied child-free? I prefer going without LO because it's so much easier to drink and socialize.
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I've never been to a child free wedding since having kids. We just went to a wedding and my kids were fascinated during the ceremony!
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I've actually only been to one child-free wedding, and am going to another one in two weeks. I've probably been to 50 weddings, and all of them have been kid friendly! We've brought our kids to 6 weddings, I think? I love weddings with lots of kids running around and showing off on the dance floor.
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@Rainbow Sprinkles: yeah, to me it isn't a wedding without kids. I've only ever been invited to one that was childfree, but LO was only a few months old so we declined.
@autumnlove: Can't blame you!
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@Greentea: I feel the same. Our reception wouldn't have been what it was without the crazy kids overloading on cotton candy and breakdancing on the dance floor.
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I've never understood the hate some people have for child-free weddings. You don't want to go? Don't. You prefer weddings with kids? Great! You can have your wedding like that! But if it's not your wedding, be happy for the bride and groom and let them decide what kind of wedding they want. Not saying that everyone who prefers kids at weddings would be upset about it, I've just come across many people who seem to really take it personally when the bride and groom don't see their wedding as a family reunion.
Our kids are young - 2 under 2, so we haven't brought them to any weddings yet. I'd be nervous about a temper tantrum being thrown during the ceremony, they wouldn't be able to sit still, and to be honest it's just a lot easier to let them have fun at home with their grandparents or a sitter while DH and I get to relax and have some adult time!
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Even after having kids, I love child-free weddings. I enjoy having some drinks and adult conversation without kids interrupting, personally.
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@wonderstruck: As usual, I totally agree with everything you've said!
Since we've had LO, we've been to a few weddings, and they've all been child free. I absolutely enjoy leaving him home where he's comfortable with someone in my family while we attend and enjoy ourselves. If there was ever a situation where I wouldn't be able to go because my child was too young to be left behind, then I would respectfully decline and think nothing of it.
It isn't my choice what type of wedding someone has...it's the bride and groom's choice.
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@wonderstruck: Yes, this!
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@wonderstruck: Agreed. And I always feel like that mentality must be a new thing? Or maybe it's regional. I don't know. But growing up I didn't go to any weddings except the two times I was a flower girl. The rest of the weddings, my parents were like, "Seeya!" lol I'm sure they were happy for the night off. I didn't specify my wedding one way or the other because back then none of my friends had kids. But I probably would have preferred child-free if it were necessary to explicitly choose.
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@MrsSCB: It might be regional, but I don't think it's a new thing. I had a REALLY hard time telling my mom that we were having a childfree wedding. She just didn't understand. Weddings are massive family events in our family and she was really put off.
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@.twist.: I ended up caving on it with our wedding, and it was kind of weird...my mom didn't care either way but my aunt was SUPER OFFENDED that I was considering not having kids there because she really wanted her grandson there. My mom pointed out that they had never been invited to family weddings when they were kids and she acted like that was totally irrelevant. Kind of weird.
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@wonderstruck: The only exception I made was for my nephew, but he was 10, not a baby/toddler. We had such an adult event -cocktails and reception at a pub!- that it just didn't seem appropriate! If anyone else was offended no one told me, and I'm ok with that. It was a blast!
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I don't usually see a ton of kids at the weddings I attend. At our wedding we only invited our two nephews and a few tween cousins. I was never invited to weddings as a kid so child-free seems to be the norm where I live - and I'm perfectly fine with that!
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Only been to one child-free wedding. Most weddings were very family friendly.
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@wonderstruck: I totally agree with you! But, from experience the bride and groom (okay, probably mostly the bride) get really upset if someone (with children) decides not to attend! I don't think it's ok for the bride and groom to dictate that people must leave their children at home and attend! lol
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I've always assumed weddings were child free and I'm from the northeast like @meredithnyc. I would never expect J to be invited to a wedding unless he was a ring bearer. I guess that's more the norm in my circle/region but in my circle it's also the norm to drink heavily at weddings, so maybe not the most child friendly places
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I've never been to one. I think having kids at these sorts of events makes it much more fun!
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I don't have any problems with child-free weddings, as long as the bride and groom have a good attitude about it. I'm actually a bit offended by the "we're doing it so you can have a good time" attitude. I have no problem with the "it's not the right place for kids/we don't want anyone crying/I just plain don't like kids" attitudes. I just find the "we're doing it so you can enjoy yourself" attitude patronizing. What if it's really expensive or impractical to get a sitter? You certainly aren't helping me out there. And as long as the bride and groom are understanding if you can't make it because kiddos aren't invited, then I have no problem with it.
That said, the summer LO was 7-10 months old, we were invited to 3 weddings. One was a plane ride away, one a car ride (but overnight), and one just a 45-minute drive. He was invited to all of them, and we took him to all but the last one because he was BFing (and didn't take a bottle). I've not been invited to a child-free wedding while I've had a kid.
We are invited to a wedding this summer when LO1 will be 2.5 and LO2 will be 1-2 months old. We will leave LO1 with my parents, but obviously will need to take LO2. Once we've passed the baby/toddler stage, I'd definitely leave kids behind if at all possible.
It's unusual in my region to have child-free weddings, and I had over 30 kids at mine--but I love kids and wanted the excuse to see all my cousins' kids.
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@illumina: Yes, that is also not okay! It's an invitation, not a summons!
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I have never been to a wedding where kids were invited (other than immediate nieces/nephews or members of the wedding party). I honestly never thought twice about it because the weddings in my circle/ area are at night, after most kiddos are asleep and involve a lot of alcohol. Other than it being a wedding, it's not a party you would even consider taking kids too. For those of you where kids at weddings are commonplace, are the receptions typically earlier in the day, or less boozy?
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@wonderstruck: this made me laugh! So true!
@Madison43: typically wedding ceremonies here are 1-2pm, then food around 4-6, then usually people with kids go home and the party continues into the night.
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@wonderstruck: I don't have hate for it, but you can see my problem. These are very close friends and we've been through a lot with them in the last year. We want to be there for them at their wedding. But it's a destination wedding far away and in a place where finding a reliable sitter for a 3 month old and two other children is going to be very sketchy (resort community). Am I supposed to leave my husband home with 3 kids? Am I supposed to leave my infant with someone we don't know at 3 months? My dear friends will be hurt if I don't go.
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@Mrs. Jacks: for an infant at least, i would ask the couple to bring him along. i feel like in that situation, it's worth the ask for me.
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@birdofafeather: I asked and the grooms said no
but if she wasn't in the wedding party I would not bring her.
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