Hellobee Boards

I think i was disconnected in the sense that i had no time to really think about it. Busy with a toddler, work and life...no time to dwell over whether he was an eggplant or broccoli yet. I think i felt more connected once i found out the gender.

I didn't feel super connected with my second pregnancy. I was still spending so much of my time and energy on my first-born. It got easier to connect when he started kicking.

I'm almost 23 weeks and think about being pregnant a lot, but I just don't feel connected to the baby or really think a lot about what will life be like when he's here, which does make me sad!!! I have a lot of those typically second time mom thoughts of "will I love this baby as much as LO #1? What if I still give preference to #1?" It's just hard to imagine splitting my attention!

I usually forget I'm pregnant and its flying by, but I don't think I'm anymore or less connected than I was with DD1. I don't really connect until baby is born.

Definitely. Even when I thought about the baby it was in relation to my toddler- like I was excited to see her with the baby, not excited to see the baby. It took a long time. Even after the baby was born I didn't feel as connected with her as I did when my first was born. Once she started developing a personality it lifted. She's 9 weeks old and I can say I love her just as much as big sis, but it really did take longer than I expected.

Our situation was different, in that we didn't have a LO running around, but it was actually shocking to me how connected I was with our second (well, 4th, but second that was viable). Once we found out R might not make it (at 20 weeks), I totally disconnected. It was a defense mechanism, and probably a good one, as it turned out. But once we were sure L was healthy, I was able to be really emotionally involved and it was a totally different experience. DH was the same. He was FAR more involved with my pregnancy with L.

I was much less connected for my second pregnancy. I think the fact that I knew LO1 was a boy from the second I knew I was pregnant (great intuition!) helped me think of him as a person with a name. But I didn't have that intuition at all the second time around and so it was much harder for me to connect, and we didn't even start thinking of names until we knew the sex. I think I was also trying to protect myself from gender disappointment had LO2 not been the gender we desired.

@Applesandbananas: I almost wrote this exact same post this morning as I am feeling somewhat (and you named it perfectly) disconnected. I hate this feeling because it is unfamiliar to me... last time around I could have told you how far along I was to the exact week/day and I had so much more energy to devote to daydreaming and thinking about pregnancy. This time around, even though it took a bit longer to get pregnant than last time, I was in sheer disbelief until after our first appointment. For a while, I was convinced that the "disconnect" was my mind's way of protecting myself until we knew that everything was OK, at least in the beginning. I am beyond excited but just can't put my finger on why I don't feel the same "everyday excitement" as last time. Perhaps it's because I am busy with LO and my job has gotten more strenuous but part of me is constantly comparing pregnancies. I know I am being harsh on myself and in reality know that 2 pregnancies, 4 years apart, should really not be the same (!), but it's just hard to have a different "connection" from the get go.

Less connected for sure! I started to feel more connected once I found out the sex, and started feeling movement near the 2nd half of the 2nd trimester. I felt less connected at the birth of my 2nd too, and it took me a few months to really feel connected to him. Now it's all a distant memory.

I was less connected at the beginning of this pregnancy. For one, I got pregnant on the first try this time. With DS it was close to year and I had to see an RE. I was so much more bought into the process. For a long time it just felt too good to be true, and like I shouldn't get attached.

It was also so weird to me to suddenly be pregnant, and yet it was nothing like what I remembered pregnancy being. There was no big bump yet (visual reminder of baby), and no baby kicks or hiccups (physical reminder of baby). I knew this was really weird - but I kinda felt like pregnancy should've just picked up where the last one ended, lol.

I'm now close to 15w and I'm feeling a lot more connected. We found out the gender and we've decided on a name. Oh, and I've been feeling some movement too. We've started decorating the nursery and I've got a pronounced bump. I do look at DS and wonder how I can possibly love another child as much as I love him. I felt connected with DS my entire pregnancy and I fell in love the moment I saw him. I hope/assume it'll happen that way again.

I do. It's still so early and this pregnancy was a complete surprise. I think I'll connect more when I know the sex and can feel movement.

@catlady: I'm so sorry!

@Cherrybee: beautiful

@Cherrybee: I have felt more connected to baby 2 as soon as she was born. For LO1, she was such an awful sleeper and so high needs, I didn't reeeeaaallllllyyyy enjoy her until she was a year old. But LO2 has been so different--I think because now I realize the baby days fly by, I actually ENJOY the baby stage and I don't even mind night wake ups and it's just so different, mentally. Hope the same happens for you! I know you also had a higher needs first one.