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I think DS is like that a bit. He's a very easygoing kid, but he has a very intense side, and when it comes out all you can do is duck and cover. I've had days when I couldn't get him off the playground for hours, he's perfectly willing to just go off somewhere on his own and not look back (and he's not even three!), and he can cry for an hour straight or stay up partying till midnight. I feel like this kind of determination could be a really good thing for him when he's older, if we're lucky and he channels it into something good. But till then... yeah... it's hard.

I guess if he's acting out at an event, see if you can step out for a while so he can run around and let steam off, or take turns with someone watching him, so you have a few minutes to go up to the bride and groom and say congratulations, or eat something!

@Mrs. Lion: DS doesn't really fit the "feisty" description you linked to, but he does sound a bit like your son out in public. For my son I think a big part is age (he's 19 months) but some of it is curiosity and testing boundaries. For example, the couple time we try to just let him walk in a store it's a disaster. He does not listen whatsoever. We let him roam one night in Target and we basically had to keep pretending to run away from him to get him to follow us.

So I've given up for a while on letting him walk and he must be in the stroller or the cart. At restaurants he must sit in the high chair. He's used to the high chair but he doesn't love the cart. But we try to keep moving and use different things to distract him. At the grocery store he gets animal crackers. Other stores we might give him the pacifier.

For get togethers he's usually fine. But I would never take my son to a wedding. At least not for a few years. He's not capable of behaving appropriately at a wedding, but I don't think most toddlers are.

(raises hand.) DD1 is so independent and bright and energetic which I LOVE, but when we go anywhere she just wants to run and climb and explore. She is not one to hold my hand and walk. She's not even 21 months so I have hopes that within a year she might be able to listen better, while I would focus on still giving her outlets for her energy. I just feel so frustrated and embarrassed currently. We just did my maternity pictures and we couldn't do any of just me and DH because she would just run- and I mean SPRINT - off happily if we weren't holding her.

@Mrs. Lion: Oh, I wasn't directing it towards you, I understand the term was from the article.

Having an inflexible child is extremely challenging, I won't lie...it's about making sure that my son is in a mixture of environments where he will succeed and environments that push his boundaries as well as giving him the tools to learn to manage them.

It means not forcing sitting down and practicing letters on a piece of paper, but instead taking the chalk outside and drawing the letters on the driveway to involve the whole body. It means sometimes having to leave functions early or when my son gets overstimulated.

@Mrs. Lion: that example is so my daughter. When we did Gymboree- even before she was a year!- the other kids would sit nicely with their parents in the circle and DD would run up to the teacher and when the gymbo doll came out, she would basically attack her for it. It was "cute" but she was also way less mobile and crazy then. I also notice the difference between her and her peers.

@Mrs. Lion: I would describe DS as energetic, independent, and determined He's going to be 3 next month and it has gotten slightly easier to manage his behaviors, but that's partially due to the fact that DH and I have learned that he is easily overstimulated and we leave parties, dinners, and other outings whenever we feel it's too much for him to handle, and we do so without getting upset at him because we know it's not something he can easily control. We find that he does best with a predictable routine and that too much preparation for things (like telling him about a party hours before we go) only makes things harder. He's a super social kid, but he does best with one or two other kids, and not in a setting where he is required to sit down for long periods of time.

It's interesting that my LO is both "slow to warm up" and "feisty." She is VERY physically active, which I think is common at this age, but I see other LOs her age that are a lot more compliant and not always getting into things. But when we are in new environments, she is very quiet and still at first. So, she will sit in my lap frozen for the first half of story time, and the second half she is bouncing off the walls and yelling.

@Mrs. Lion: I totally agree with you on the whole library storytime thing. DH has been bringing DS to storytime since he was 4 months old. He is now almost 2.5 and still it is hard for him to sit still through the whole thing. At home he loves to be read to and will quietly sit on our lap for a whole book or 2 or 3. But for whatever reason, has a difficult time at the library doing that. I'm not sure what it is, but it makes me wonder about him when I see other toddlers sitting "nicely" with their parents during storytime while mine is wandering around the room or constantly moving around while I try to get him to sit with me. I totally feel you, but unfortunately I'm not sure how to help you.

@Mrs. Lion: The main thing for me is LO's energy level--he just never stops moving. I"ve had strangers. family, etc comment on just how active he is. I do find that he does better if he is in situations where he can burn off energy freely--so a park, rather than a gym class, because sitting in a circle to sing hello is just asking for trouble. I do wonder how he will do when he starts preschool this fall, but am hoping that he will be better behaved for the teachers than for me!

My first is that way.... independent, strong-willed, determined, inquisitive, focused.... Although these are extremely trying times, I have to remember that these are the traits that are admirable in adults. I'm definitely struggling with it, but I have realized that she does tend to be a very sensitive kid.. so I try to appeal to that side of her when she's misbehaving. (and when all else fails, send in DH for reinforcements)

@bushelandapeck: @HTownMom: same thing here! To listen to the day care, you'd think they were talking about a different child. I thought they were pulling my leg for a long time. But B's day care teacher, who manages to have ten toddlers more or less behaving themselves every day, also admits she could never get her own son to behave at that age. They just know they can get away with more at home!