Hellobee Boards

It's more how my DH complains... I totally agree with his assessment of some of my family, but his solution is we should just stop seeing them. :\ He doesn't seem to get that they're still my family even if they can be sucky people.

Yes! I'm very defensive about my family. My husband can even be agreeing with something I'm saying and I'll suddenly get defensive. It's okay when I say it, it's not okay when other people do.

Yes!! I bitch about my mum all the time but when my DH moans about her I get all ragey!

meh, not really. I don't have the monopoly on bitching about my family. In fact, it usually makes me feel better than someone else feels the same way I do

Yes. My mother has a pathetic excuse of a boyfriend who bashes my dad constantly. She doesn't get why I won't spend time with her boyfriend...

Yes, I think that's totally normal. I can complain about them, but nobody else can

Yes, my husband is very judgmental about my immediate family to the point I don't share much with him anymore. He's polite and funny and engaging when they are around, but he holds them in contempt.

Haha! I don't mind when DH complains about my family but sometimes he goes a bit overboard... rightfully so sometimes... I usually interrupt him if he goes on too long and say "I agree with you but can we stop for a moment... if I said some of the things you just said about my family about your family... how would you feel? I don't mind you complaining but I think you are going a bit far now" He usually pauses and thinks about it and agrees.

Yes. I can talk shit.... It's my family and, in the end, I love them. No one else is allowed.

Yeah it's in the family of I can complain about them but you can't. Even though my DH is justified when e does it, I hate when he bitches about y family. I think it's really rude and disrespectful.

Definitely. I always feel like it's one thing when I (or my sisters) criticize my family. We are IN it. We grew up in it. That's our right. But anyone else? Nope, you don't have that right. DH has been critical a few times (with good reason, my family is crazy), but always very carefully so. Even so it makes me feel like my loyalty is split.

@autumnlove: My SIL and I are pretty close. She doesn't go on long rants about my parents but I'm glad she does vent sometimes. Once she blurted out how offended she was that my parents sleep in sleeping bags when they comes to her house. She thought it was a statement about her housekeeping and it had probably been bugging her for years. I can't explain it but they do the same at my house. Usually it's something like that. I wouldn't enjoy a long rant.

I probably need to do a better job about not complaining to DH about his family. My comments are 95% about them as house guests so I hope he takes it as my issues as a hostess and not issues I think they have.

I think it's tricky. If its well know gripe that my whole family gripes about, it's usually okay for DH to complain about it, too. If he uses it towards/against me and in a condesending way, yeah, that's that good.

As for my MIL, I don't think she should be complain about my parents or family at all. She's said some offensive things (crossed a big line) during my wedding, and she lost that card. I would think she knows better nowadays. We are getting along right now and I hope it stays that way. I really hope she learned her lesson.

I do complain about DH's family and it usually in front of him. Now, if his other family members are complaing about another family member, I'll listen but I usually don't say much.

Yup! My parents are divorced and I grew up listening to them bicker about each other so I've grown to know how to defend my family. DH and I like each other's family so we don't say anything there. My older brother talks a lot of crap about my dad, it's a complicated relationship, and I try to shut him down when he is out of control about it.