How do you make sure you spend time with both/all the kids?
I just went back to work and so far, I only get half an hour to eat with my toddler and "catch up", then I have to nurse baby (and try to continue to engage with toddler), then move into bed time for baby and usually don't make it out before she goes in the room with DH for her bedtime.
I was find the whole day at work but now I feel oh so bad 
nectarine / 2821 posts
That sounds really tough 
You are such a good mom, you'll find your way and settle into the new routine. Take good care of yourself and cut yourself some slack as you adjust!
grapefruit / 4455 posts
@snowjewelz: I no longer woh ft (and it has nothing to do with not seeing the kids) but when I did, I had the kids all weekend (usually just me) and just tried to do more with them then and to make the most of the weekday moments and do things like prep food while they were sleeping (that now/before working I would do while they were up). It's just one of the sacrifices of being a WOH parent. Remember all the other kids at school/daycare are in the same type of situation!
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
@mrsbubbletea: thanks mama I was very taken aback at how affected I am post work... I know it will get better eventually!
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
You just adapt. My Moro for this third is that this is all such a short phase. We will have a good solid year of craziness and then it will feel normal
eggplant / 11861 posts
@snowjewelz: this gets me every week by Wednesday I have such guilt!
I'm home by 5/5:30
On nights DH is working we come home
Prep dinner as DD does am activity in kitchen and DS watches in his Bumbo
After dinner we usually go into D'S room and play/ read until 6:25/6:30 He is ready for bed so we get him in jammies then DD usually will gather books for us or watches 1 episode of Doc Mcstuffin as he gets a bottle and bed
So I really get 1 hr with him
Then me and DD read/blocks or something until DH comes home at 7:15 He does her bath and bed as I scramble to clean up as much as I can!
So I have 2hrs with her?!
It's hard and I am looking forward to DST so we can hit park on way home on a good nap day for D'S or take a walk after dinner
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
@FaithFertility: it hit me sooo hard this evening how little time I have with them! I think it's harder too with K2 so young and can't just hang out for long... I know you get it!
grapefruit / 4988 posts
I'm in a similar situation and went back to work last week. I have a 3 year old and 3 month old. The evening routine was tough at first (actually, it was harder before I went back to work) but we've been lucky enough to get into a groove. These days, what we do is all eat dinner together, then DH takes the baby up for a bath while I hang out with DD for awhile. Then I bring her up and DH does her bath, teeth, etc while I nurse the baby and put him to bed. He's usually asleep quickly enough that I can read DD a story before she goes to bed.
We could (maybe should) put the baby to sleep earlier but he likes a long bath and it gives DH a chance to spend time with him while he's calm and me a chance to hang out with DD so this works out for us. Her bedtime got shifted a little later but she seems ok with it. My only regret is that our bedtime routine is now super long so I get less time alone or with DH in the evenings. But right now I like the extra time with the kids.
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
When I first went back to work, I definitely didn't have as much time with my older one as I wanted. I'd get home, and have to nurse, then we'd all have dinner as a family and I could get in some play time with the older before I needed to nurse the baby to sleep.
It definitely gets easier as they get older though! Once I stopped nursing my youngest, he wasn't as time consuming and I was able to spend more quality time with both of them or one-on-one time with each of them individually. And now at 2 and 4, they are constantly playing together!
pomegranate / 3921 posts
I feel you! I think our girls are similar ages--DD1 is 26 months and DD2 is 4.5 months, and I've been back to work for 2.5 months. It's honestly still kind of crazy, but I know it'll get better. I try to plan meals really well so that I can plop something in the oven and play with DD1 instead of having to spend a bunch of time making dinner. We talk about her day while I feed the baby, and then after dinner all four of us pile into the bathroom for bath time. (I've also been known to sit on the floor and nurse baby sister so I can help with a puzzle or play a board game. Haha.) Sometimes if I'm feeling REALLY rushed, I'll have DH distract the baby a little bit so I can do the snuggly bedtime thing with my oldest before putting the little one to bed. You guys will find your groove!
eggplant / 11861 posts
@snowjewelz: I totally do! On a good nap day AJ can hang until 6:30/7
On a bad nap day I am pushing him awake just to feed G and he is miserable! It seems each week has more good days than bad so the older they get thr better it seems!
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
@mfa_lady: Thank you! Yes! I think I was just a little shocked but I hope to find a new normal that I can deal with!
@Adira: So true! I think it's just so crazy now b/c their schedule/needs are so different. Glad to know they're playing so much together!
@catlady: I am considering giving DD2 another cat nap and pushing back her bed time to spend more time w/ DD1! Will see how it goes!
@FaithFertility: That's great! I think it will be better once the little one has some what of a schedule... She does now but I impose it to make my life easier haha.
coconut / 8861 posts
@Adira: So much word on this. My guys are 4.5 years old and almost 2. Once the youngest stopped nursing and sleeping through the night, it got a lot easier to manage them both. Before that, it was a lot of nursing, prepping bottles, quick bedtimes, and multiple naps for the youngest.
Now, they both drink milk, get up close to the same time everyday, get dressed, etc. It's so much easier now that we're out of the baby phase with the youngest. They nap at the same time too. Before that, DH would take our eldest out for park visits while the baby napped on the weekends. It's a lot of balance and one on one parenting with two in the beginning, but gets easier as they get bigger.
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