Hellobee Boards

Thats a tough situation. You want to be nice but you also want what's best for your child. Unfortunately I'm not as nice as you, haha. This happens with my MIL and happened today. He is clearly overtired and she gets in his face and talks with an insane baby voice and shakes rattles in his face. I finally picked him up and said "MIL, he is tired and getting in his face is upsetting him. He needs to go to sleep." She continued to follow me to every room. It was literally like she was chasing me. I finally had to tell her I am trying to be alone with him in a quiet room to calm him down (he is hysterical at this point). She finally got the hint. Sort of.

Maybe since she likes "helping" you, when it's time for a nap or some downtime you can ask her if she wants to help you get him ready for his nap or sit and talk while you rock him or something like that. Maybe she'll get the hint that now is nap time and not crazy play time.
Or maybe you can sort of "confide" in her that LO has been a little clingier than usual when he's tired. That way when he's freaking out and she has him you can sort of roll your eyes and say "this is what I was telling you about. Here, I'll take him, he'll be more fun when he's well rested".

I'm grasping for straws because I'm not as nice as you and I just tell my MIL (who sounds like your friend) that it's time to stop getting in his face and time to hand him to me. So I'm trying to figure out a nicer way to do those things. Hope this helps even a little.

I think you should try to enjoy the extra pair of hands, it is only for a few days and IMO not worth drama.

Uhmmmm...am I the only one who thinks it's really weird that she wanted to watch you pump?? I would be frustrated by everything else you mentioned but probably let it go, but that is just strange.

@MrsHansen82: I totally agree - that is super weird! I guess I can see her being curious if she's thinking about TTC soon, but I would be creeped out by someone wanting to watch me pump.

Like @Jess1483: I'm gonna go against the grain here. If my baby is crying and wants me to soothe him, it seems kind of awful to say, "Eh, it's only for a few days, let her try to soothe him." Routines and naps getting screwy I can be a little more flexible with depending on how your LO takes that stuff - mine turns into a screaming upset mess if I keep him out past bedtime, so no matter what the special occasion is, bedtime is still bedtime and we don't stay out past it. But if my child is crying for me and the person holding him doesn't want to give him up, I insist. You don't have to be mean or dramatic about it, just say, "Looks like LO wants mommy right now!" and take him. If she tries to argue or follow just say, "I know you want to spend time with him and you'll get to again later, but I'm the mom and right now he just needs some quiet time with me/bedtime goes much smoother without extra people there/whatever."

But in general, I'm not going to let one of my kids be upset to make an adult happy. My responsibility is to my child and I want him to feel safe. Find your inner mama bear!

I'm wondering if it is cultural? From what I understand (and someone feel free to correct me) in general Italians are known for LOVING babies and children. I live in Europe and in my experience living in and traveling to a number of countries, the breastfeeding thing is simply no big deal. I'm not saying every woman is fine and comfortable with having an audience while she BFs her baby, just that, in general, it is something done rather openly. As for watching you pump, haha, that is a bit over the top. But I think she's coming from a genuine place of caring and interest.

That said, you should definitely do what you and your son are comfortable with regard to the feeding and him not wanting to be separated from you.

My first thought was maybe she really loves kids and can't have children of her own or something to that effect.

The pumping part is weird to me but from what I've experienced over in Europe they are much more open about breastfeeding than we are. So she probably sees it as no big deal.