My last post here on hellobee was when I was so happy to post about expecting my LO. Now he is 7 months going on 8 in about 4 days. Time flew by so fast. Calling it an emotional roller coaster doesn't even suffice. Nevertheless, seeing LO's smiling face makes me heart melt and makes any bad days go away.

Speaking of bad day, we had to take our LO to the ER as instructed by the pediatrician last Saturday. He had Croup. It was scary since it didn't sound like he had a cough that gradually became croup. Friday night as he was already laid to sleep for the night, he coughed himself awake and it sounded like croup right away. It was so scary to hear and I rushed and did everything I could to make him comfortable.

He was treated at the ER and came home 4 hours after. Since then, I've been feeling guilty that if I had been able to care for LO at home, then he would not have gone through all that nonsense with croup. This is the fourth time he's been sick since he was born and every single time, the guilt feels the same. It makes me think twice about being a working mother and that I wish I could just get a job that would allow me to stay home with him so I can keep him away from all the icky stuff. I know I can't keep him away from everything but I would surely try my hardest.

Being a first time mom is really challenging and I'm always told this is the worst part of being a parent but as my cousin said, "this too shall pass". Although the croup is somewhat gone with just residual cough as evidence, the guilt is still there. I wonder when it will ever go away, or will it?