Hellobee Boards

Our family has a stomach bug. All Christmas plans are canceled.

It’s our 5th this year.

@LBee: No! I'm so sorry, that sucks! We're you planning on traveling?

@Kaohinani: Oh hell no. My pet peeve in life is people not sending cards - or texts! - to acknowledge a gift. Same thing happened to me this year, where I didn’t even know if the things were delivered?! Unreal. I make my son write (draw) a little note every time he is sent something without fail. I can’t with rude people.

@Kaohinani:
Agree 100%.

@LBee: I'm sorry to read that. My DD's first year in HI, when she was 3, we all came down with the flu around Christmas. (DH and I had lived there before we had children.) It was horrible. We missed out on so many activities, parties, and DH's company/FRG family event ... I felt terrible and was "extremely dramatic" as I was so upset that DD was missing out. I do feel for you.

So I'm going to sound like a boat, but here goesit. I'm hosting and I'm sick. So I'm cranky. I need DH to get the almost 3 year old out of the house so I can wrap presents and he keeps stalling. The sick baby will be up soon, so my wrapping window is very short.

And my in-laws do a strange Christmas gift where they have us buy a gift for our kids from them. (Ie put the work on me). So I have to wrap gifts from them which makes me bitter.

Lastly, DH was supposed to organize that the 3 year old was going to get a hand me down train set from his nephew to expand his current set. But he never confirmed the details. I just saw the set and it's plastic and battery powered,not wooden. So it's not compatible. It's a really nice set, but not what he was supposed to get and now he will have two tiny train sets instead of the big set he really wanted. Had DH confirmed this sooner, I could've amazoned the wooden tracks.

ETA: Amazon is amazing. There will be wooden tracks here tomorrow. But my husband woke up the baby as he took my big kid our so I could do wrapping

@LBee: ugh! Our plans are canceled too. I was diagnosed with strep and flu B today and I dred my Family getting it. We have been so sick this fall.

Why, as the women, do we have to think of everything? We are heading to my MIL's house (6 hours away) and should be getting in around 5:30. She is notorious for inviting us over around mealtimes and then not having any food in the house. So I asked DH, have you checked with your mom about dinner plans? No. So he checks and says, she's making soup or chili. (Which I'm amazed that she cooked for us but whatever). So I mention that DS is kind of picky and definitely won't eat chili. Maybe we should check with MIL to see if we need to bring something S will eat. What, specifically, is she making? Why am I the only one with this thought process?

@catgirl: I’m so sorry about your kitty, there’s not much worse than that and the family drama sounds incredibly annoying.

@Chuckles: you’re kidding, your tiny child won’t eat a bowl of fucking spicy beef chili for dinner and you have to be the one to troubleshoot the situation even though it’s not your mom and you’re probably also wholly responsible for getting everyone out the goddamned door? 🙄

I don’t really have any gripes because I have shunned my entire family and made almost no plans whatsoever. So since nothing is supposed to happen, nothing can go wrong I had some daydreams where I’d have two hours to make some non-frozen pizza actual food, but the baby won’t nap (what’s new) and the boy has a cold so there’s no way, oh well. the only payment is long-standing judgement and resentment from both sides of the family that I selfishly refused to travel or host.

My MiL is insane when it comes to gifting. She sent my almost-3-yr-old 15 things this year. I gave her a list of suggestions because if I don’t, she just sends a bunch of random crap...turned out she sent every single thing I suggested *and* a bunch of random crap. She never visits, so I can just return or donate a lot of it with her none the wiser...but this is the last year I’ll be able to get away with that, since next year she’ll be able to ask him about it and he’ll understand if some things are missing. Plus we’re expecting #2 in a few months, so then she’ll be over-buying for two. Total first-world problem, I know, but it really bothers me. She’s sending him more stuff than he gets from all the rest of the family combined.

@LCTBQE: thank you!! And yes to being the one who coordinates and plans everything (though DH does help with stuff like packing the car and dropping the dog st the dog sitter). And yours sounds like a good plan. I hope you have some relaxing time away home.

We just spent 2 hours ripping up carpet and trying to air out our flooded basement area from a leaking pipe. And it's Christmas and nobody will answer their phone to come out.

And DH is a stress ball about work this month and everything is just the end of the world to him. And I want to bite his head off because life is not really that bad. And he and our 5 year old are fighting so much this past week. I feel like I'm holding on to the Christmas cheer by my fingernails in our house.

@catgirl: I am so sorry about your cat, that must have been terrible!

I was feeling just a little grumpy about some family dynamics on DH's side, his last-minute approach to the holidays, and our different gift giving styles . . .

But now my grandmother is dying. This is neither sudden nor unexpected, but I am still sad, and at a bit of a loss for how to handle this waiting game. It feels like nothing else should matter, but I also have to keep preparing, as the celebrations start tomorrow either way.

@pachamama: TLDR: I'm too tired to bother
long version: my kids are 4 months and 28 months, we are in the middle of potty training, my (divorced) parents are so difficult they're almost as much work to take care of as my children, we can't stay with when we travel to see them because they live in filth, I don't want to share a $$$ hotel room with my kids waking each other up all night the entire time after we've hauled ass flying across the country, and even if we did all of the above, I would be too preoccupied trying to breastfeed and stop my toddler destroying a non-child-proofed area at the same time to even have a decent conversation let alone eat food; possibly others would enjoy us being there but I'd be exhausted, annoyed, and out $4000. and goes without saying I'd be responsible for arranging everything and packing everyone and transporting gifts and wrapping gifts once there etc etc. My in-laws are nice but staying with them is very uncomfortable and we just saw them, and lastly we're atheists who think Christmas is overblown for the secular crowd and when I see a bumper sticker that says "keep Christ in Christmas" I'm like: YES, why are we doing this again?
So instead we're staying home, enjoying our tree, listening to the Charlie Brown Christmas music, and I hope to make boeuf bourginion.

@Chuckles: tell me your husband is the one who researched and found the dogsitter and then booked your dog's stay without you having to even ask about it getting done and I will die a happy woman.

@CatchAFallingStar: is that a yellow lab?!

@pachamama: tell me about it! She’s come to visit exactly twice in the 14 years J has lived here - once for our wedding, once when L was about 10 months. She’s such a workaholic that she won’t leave her job for two seconds, even though she definitely could and we’ve invited her regularly. She just sends piles of junk for L instead. Thank goodness J talked her out of sending a trampoline

@LCTBQE: that was awesome. You are amazing.

Also, out of the past 9 christmases, he has only given us gifts 3x. All of the other years, it was "coming in the mail" or "forgot to mail it" or "Amazon says it is delivered" or "I'm setting it up for you".... eye roll..... dude, just fess up and tell me you didn't want to spend money on me. I know.

We hosted my BIL, MIL, FIL this past weekend, in the house we just bought and moved into two weeks ago. I love my in-laws, so I was happy to do it.
I came home every night last week and stayed up prepping all the food, figuring out sleeping situations, digging out sheets from unpacked boxes etc, and stressing about the fact that I couldn't find the time to wrap the presents. Friday night rolls around, I'm making dinner, waiting for the in-law to arrive, and my husband says:

DH: There is still so much to do, how would you feel about moving the 'Christmas dinner' to Sunday?
ME: They are all leaving Sunday during DDs nap, so I don't think that will work.
DH: No, they are all staying until Monday afternoon, so it works out perfectly!
ME: ..... what do you mean they are staying until Monday?

HE NEVER TOLD ME THEY WERE STAYING ALL WEEKEND!
I had food shopped and planned and made lists & menus and prep'd and DISCUSSED IT ALL WITH HIM!

Then DD only wanted mama all weekend, so DH took that as a hall pass, so he just pretended he was one of the guests too, while I worked my ass off with a sick toddler on one hip.

Final thought vent? DH told me he didn't have time to get me stocking stuffers so not to expect anything.
(I did all of the xmas shopping and wrapping for the entire family. all he did was me.)

So I'm angrily sitting at work today, happy to be out of the house and angry at his ability to abdicate his senses and responsibilities. I couldn't do that even if I tried!

Thanks for the vent. Merry Christmas

@jennlin821: Oh my gosh. Did your DH at least help clean and cook? As for the gifts, I would be livid. There are plenty of hours in the day to go on Amazon.