I'm coming up on 12 weeks and thinking about how to tell my coworkers.... for some reason i'm really nervous/stressed about it.
I just told my boss because I've been really sick lately but will need to let everyone else know at some point. I don't want to make it a big spectacle... so I'm thinking about just firing off an email. Is that awful? I just don't want to have to answer 100 questions and talk about it non stop, it feels so attention seeking to me and I'm not particularly close with my team. What did you/will you do?
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Yay for another milestone for you!
I'll be in your position next week, and I'm planning on just letting it out casually, in conversation. If others had made announcements over email or whatever, I'd probably follow suit. But no one else has done it that way (and there have been plenty of pregnancies), so I'm planning on just letting it come out organically. What have others done at your work place?
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You don't have to tell anyone or make an announcement. Just tell people one-on-one as it becomes relevant to your professional relationship.
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I told my immediate manager personally, and my department head personally as well.
For everyone else, I just either told them in conversation or let the word filter around. I really didn't want to do anything specific like an email or formal announcement or anything.
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I let people know in conversation, I felt strange sending out an email, no one had done that before at my work. I told 2 coworkers first because we are friends, and then my boss, and then the rest of the department close to 12 weeks.
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I just went into one of the girls I'm closer with and told her and said that if she could spread it around that'd be great. haha I felt kinda weird just going from office to office being all like "haaaai, guess whaaaaat!? I'm all knocked uuuuup".
It was easier if she told people and they could do what they wanted with that information.
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I struggled with this too because I also wasn't that close to my team at the time. I ended up just telling my boss and then he brought it up during a team meeting, so the cat was out of the bag, which was a relief to have someone else mention it, so that I didn't have to.
Last time around, I announced it during a meeting, but I was really close to the team I was working with at the time, so it felt more natural to do it that way. This time, I was new to the team and didn't really know anyone, so it felt weird announcing, but I also didn't want to keep it a secret.
In reality, you can probably just not say anything. They'll figure it out eventually and as long as your boss knows, that's probably the most important thing.
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I worked in a very small office setting when I was pregnant with Chloe, so I told everyone individually... and by everyone, I mean like four people.
I didn't make a big deal out of it but my coworkers were also like family so I felt comfortable letting them know.
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I'm 21 weeks and I work in two schools. I've already informed my principals and supervisor in person, and now I'm telling teachers I work with on an individual basis. If I see them eyeing my stomach, I'll say, "Oh yeah, I'm pregnant."
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@ineebee: i'm only 10w4d but this is stressing me out... i still have a week and a half until i really want to tell them. i told my boss because i've been SO SICK and i feel like she suspected. she actually guessed haha. i work with a bunch of much older ladies so there have been no pregnancies since i've been here. unchartered territory, so i have no idea!
@.twist.: ya i feel so awkward just telling everyone one on one. it feels so like... guessssss whatttttt, everyone be happy for me!!!! ya one girl i work with knows... maybe i'll just ask that she starts telling people.
@Adira: i reeeeeeally like the idea of having my boss mention it. i might run that by her and see what she thinks. unfortunately, we dont' have frequent meetings so she'd call us together just to announce. hm.
i'm really hormonal/emotional today so maybe i'm overthinking it. it just never feels like it comes up organically. i wish it would so i could tell one person and just have them spread the word.
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@Happygal: i wish i could wait that long, all the ladies i work with are so nosey/opinionated so i'm dreading them finding out. unfortunately i need to start training people on my accounts etc... so i don't think i could get away with it for that long!
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I told my principal first (during the first trimester) because he asked me to start a new summer program so I had to tell him I would be having a baby instead. And I asked him to keep it quiet until I was in the 2nd trimester and ready to announce.....
But he told the secretaries that he needed to start looking for a mat leave replacement and they told everyone. I was fine with it at that point.
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@loki: Yea, I felt like popping in office to office was really needy and we don't do group meetings (which I think, for me, would make me super embarrassed!) so I just asked the girl I'm closest to to gossip. HA.
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@loki: I think your frequent sickness is a perfect way to bring it up! That's what I did with my principal when I was going for IF treatments and missing an hour or two of work here and there. (She herself was elated about being pregnant herself, so I thought she could sympathize.) I told her that I'd hate to give the impression that I'm not being as responsible as I usually am, but that I'm trying to get pregnant. She was totally sympathetic and even excited for me! Not exactly the same, but explaining the sickness might be a way in?
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My entire first trimesterI felt weird telling people I was pregnant. I have no idea why, it just felt too much like talking about my sex life!
I agree with those who've said just to let it come up naturally in conversation with a few people. Word will spread from there! Good luck!
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DO you have some sort of staff meeting or larger gathering???
I am a teacher, and I told my whole staff at our staff meeting. I had the secretary, who knew, bring in cupcakes I had made iced in blue and pink with a sign that says "Baby xxxx" due early November" She just carried the cupcakes in, and held the sign. It was great! I didn
t have to say anything, and then everyone knew at the same time. I have also seen a snack just put on work room table with all the details so that everyone can read and find out, then you dont have to answer questions! -
@MrsScottish: ya i was thinking that might be easy. oct 1 is my birthday so i was thinking of maybe bringing in some sort of treat and just making it obvious at that point. thanks for the suggestions!
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@loki: Yeah, we have weekly meetings, so it was natural for our team to be together and then my boss was just like "Did you tell everyone the news?" which was a great way for me to then announce to my team.
You could probably just wait it out. It will eventually come up or you can find a way to fit it in naturally. Like when someone mentions stuff happening in January, I could bring it up by saying "I'll be out on maternity leave then."
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I just told people as it came up in conversation. I personally told my boss and department VP. At least in my office, I think it would be weird to get an email stating that someone is pregnant. I feel like in most offices, once you tell a few people the office grapevine will take care of the rest.
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@Adira: ya that's a good idea. i might just wait it out and see.
i've had a horrible cough for weeks and the timing sucks. all last week people were coming to my desk being like "you should take this medication, etc etc" and it woulda been a perfect opportunity to say "i can't have x, i'm pregnant"... missed my chance!
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@loki: haha, don't worry, stuff like that will come up again! Even just people mistaking my drink for a coffee, I could say "It's actually hot chocolate! I'm avoiding caffeine!"
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I told my boss super early cause I was not feeling great and he thought I wasn't happy w/ the job!
I never officially announced it to anyone... My boss told his daughter that also works at my company, and we were talking about it, and people overheard, and it just kinda spread!
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I'm not pregnant, but a few women in my office were over the last couple of years. There wasn't usually a big announcement, one told me in an email when she mentioned she was missing a meeting for a doctor's appointment and the others I heard through the grapevine. That type of news seems to spread quick! One did do a little gender reveal with cupcakes but by then she was visibly pregnant so everyone knew.
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Well, i set leftover gender reveal cupcakes out on my desk. Everyone was like "CUPCAKES. WHAT ARE THEY FOR NOM NOM NOM" and i said, "oh i'm pregnant, having a girl, and these are leftover from the party".
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I work in an office where I'm one of the few women, although the men are all dads, and they frequently bring up their kids, and say, "when you have a baby..." Also, I was on a business trip with one of my closer work friends last week, and he brought up a couple of times that he thought I might be pregnant, but since I had a rather obvious cold, he bought my excuse that I was tired, dragged out, and not drinking because of that. I could have told him last week, and I wanted to (sort of), but hadn't heard the baby's heartbeat (I did today) or had an ultrasound yet (I will tomorrow), and wanted to wait until I knew everything was okay.
I'm 12w tomorrow, and will probably tell in 2-3 weeks. I have a doctor's note restricting my duties, but the doc said I could just hold onto it, until it becomes necessary - it's super obvious from it that I'm preggers! I guess I'll tell my boss first in his office. He's such a big mouth, with no sense of his employees' privacy that everyone will know by lunch, even if I ask him to keep it quiet. I will let a few people know in person, but just let the word spread from there.
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We all work from home and see each other may 2-3 times a year. So I won't have to worry about baby bump spotting. Depending on how long I can keep it under wraps with my manager I will either announce it on a conference call or just let it filter through word of mounth.
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I work in a super small office but I still sent an email. I wouldn't have said anything but my boss wanted me to tell people. It's what I was most comfortable with. I also did it from my phone right after I left (so I wasn't around for comments but people were still there to receive it so They weren't reading it the next morning when I would be there lol). Do what you're comfortable with!
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Our team is small and we bring in treats for each other regularly.
After I told my boss, I brought in cupcakes (one set was blue and one set was pink) and I printed a boy? or girl? sign.
I told them at 2nd trimester and before our a/s but it was a fun way to announce!
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I didn't, I just told people as it came up. Within like a day or two of telling the first person I had people coming up to me saying,"Soooo....I heard something about you today. Is it true?" LOL! At which point I confirmed that it was.
I was found out a bit earlier than I wanted because one day my morning sickness was bad enough that I wore my sea bands to work. A co-worker gave me a weird look and said, "Why do you look like you should be on a boat? I've only ever seen people wear those on boats. Well, except for my sister when she was..." and then she trailed off and said my name loudly and excitedly enough that about a million people heard her and wanted to know what was going on.
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I had some issues very early in my pregnancy so I was on leave from 4-8 weeks so most people assumed it had something to do with being pregnant. I basically told people as they asked and let the info trickle down.
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At my company, it's customary to send an email announcement to the whole team, about 90 people. Of course, I told management privately first.
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I told at a staff meeting. With the next I'd likely send an email but that's very common. 3 people have done that-- send a picture of their 1st child wearing a big brother/sister shirt or something. But I'm in an elementary school and we do stuff like that.
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thanks for all the ideas! it sounds like it totally depends on the dynamics of the team. i'm going to wait a few more weeks and just see how i'm feeling. might just blurt it out to one person and let them spread the word. we'll see!
I'll be in your position next week, and I'm planning on just letting it out casually, in conversation. If others had made announcements over email or whatever, I'd probably follow suit. But no one else has done it that way (and there have been plenty of pregnancies), so I'm planning on just letting it come out organically. 
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