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Can you explain to her, repeatedly, for 100 times, over and over, that it is important for us to share our toys and our books, and that we need to wait for our turn to play? My friend and I have same age boys (3.5 years old), and they are such good "sharer", and they are always very good at sharing toys. We just talk their ears off since they were 1 years old, over and over and over that they have to share, and praise them everytime they share toys, and pull them aside and give them a lecture when they don't. They are just very good now.

Another one is books with stories about sharing also really help too. We have the "Llama Llama Time To Share" it was a nice way to explain to them why sharing is so important. I like "Llama Llama and the Bully Goat" too, because it shows the kids that how no one likes a "bully goat" who doesn't share and are mean to other children.

Good luck!!

I let them have a couple toys they can be possessive of, usually it's a baby doll and stuffed animal or some building block project. But those go away then when friends come over and there's no taunting about you're not allowed to play with this, if that happens there's a timeout.

For taking toys away Id tell her to stop doing that and suggest something else she can play with, if it happens again Id tell her to stop again with a warning, third time it's up to her room.

I think with the books I would have just put them away until she was done playing with her friend, I think new toys can sometimes be trouble at that age with sharing.

I've found reminding my little guy that his friend won't be taking the toy home (it's still his even if his friend plays with it) is helpful. Also Daniel Tiger's episode. Then I'm able to sing the song to remind him that his friend gets a turn, then he can have it back. The song is really helpful in the moment. But it's ongoing.

I bought D the book "Mine a saur" has a good lesson in it.

Are you giving her actual consequences? What do you do when she snatches a toy from a friend? In our house that would be give the toy back and apologize and a time out if she didn't do so without any push back. If she showed up at a party and asked where her goody bag was my LO would not be allowed to take a goody bag and would be told that that will be the case every time she is demanding/ungrateful. At over 3 your LO can understand those consequences. If you just talk to her about why her behavior isn't ok but don't actually give consequences I doubt you'll see much improvement.

We had an issue with our eldest not wanting to share his favorite items. We took a bunch of his favorites out of the toy rotation, and he was much more willing to share his less favored items with his sister and friends! Then we slowly added them back in.

We also got more of some heavily contested items, like MagnaTiles.

I think it's just consistency over time. My parents lectured endlessly about sharing because they had zero tolerance about fighting over things. If my brother or I had the slightest argument about something that escalated to parental involvement it was gone - like in the trash or destroyed. Their response was always "we do not work our tails off to provide you with a nice life if you bring discord into the family." If it involved other people, same thing - share or it's gone. If we had a fit, the visit was over - shut it down. And then there were big consequences when we got home because my folks would be furious and embarrassed. It might sound extreme but my parents were generous to a T and could not stand entitled or selfish behavior. One time my brother and I fought over a Popsicle and my mother took it and rest of the whole new box, smashed it up in the yard with a bat, and hosed it all off the patio. "There, now there's nothing to fight over!" So we learned real quick through their consequences that it was in our interest to share. I guess it worked - my brother and I would give the shirt off our backs and consider hospitality and giving extremely important.