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Our first LO was conceived though NTNP, but it seemed pretty quick. The second one took 5 cycles of actively trying, so it was more frustrating.

Going from 0-1 was WAY harder than going 1-2. That said, LO1 was a very demanding newborn and we had tons of BF issues, while LO2 was completely easy the first three months with no issues at all.

Our second only took one try. I was shocked!

Making the decision was about the same. But actually making the baby has been much harder. We got pregnant right away with #1 but with # 2 we've been trying for 9 months and had 2 miscarriages and still aren't pregnant.

#1 took 18 months and two miscarriages to conceive and #2 too, 18 months, 2 miscarriages and surgery done by a RE to conceive. #1 and #2 will be 3 years apart as long as everything works out.

LO was extremely colicky as well. I know the jump from 1 to 2 will be super hard, but LO will be 3 by then, and hopefully will understand more. I'd love for him to be potty trained by then too, but I'm not getting my hopes up too much.

This is an interesting topic. I'm pregnant with #1. But it's important to me to have 2, I don't want to have an only. I would probably prefer a 3-4 yr space but my husband is older, so I think it's going to have to be less. We had fertility issues and it took about 9 months including Clomid + IUI to get pregnant with this one, so I don't know what the timeline will be. Not worried about it now, but it's something we'll have to think about down the road.

@MrsHoneyC: hi! We're just about to start trying for #2 (although I probably should bring DH up to speed on that) The decision for both wasn't hard, it's more of an age issue and just knowing we want 2. Also, DD has been easy so we don't have concerns with that aspect (not traumatized from newborn stage and my recovery was easy-ish) so those things don't worry me.

I do worry about DD losing time w me and I will miss spending all my time w her, I just hope we've got a strong enough bond to keep us close.

I am also worried how adding #2 will affect everything though... schedules, DH and I, me and DD, DD in general. It seems like it will be much harder to me to add another, to go from 1-2 than it was to go from 0-1... but knowing how much I love dd and how much joy she brings us I can't even imagine having another and how much more joy we'll have in our lives so it'll all be worth it (hopefully)

I got pregnant with both of my boys on the first month we actively tried. They are 20 months apart. We always knew we wanted them close in age so it worked out perfectly. Going from 1-2 was way easier than 0-1. Yes it's hard but totally worth it.

First baby took over a year of trying and eventually fertility treatments.

Second baby happened while not trying at all, and I was still breastfeeding. So, conception at least was a lot easier.

As for the actual parenting, we'll see (I'm still pregnant). I've heard 1-2 is easier than 0-1, just busier, which I believe. I think the biggest mental change is going from non-parent to parent. Now that I'm already in the mode of being totally responsible for someone else, I feel like I could have 3 more kids & it wouldn't change things as dramatically as my life changed when I first became a mom.

We got pregnant on the first try which was shocking. But even before I was pregnant with #1 we talked about the ideal age gap for us and we stuck with it. DS is a tough little toddler at times but I am SUPER excited for DD to get here (in 4 weeks!).

@MrsHoneyC: heh my motto is to start as early as you are comfortable with-no earlier, no later if it can be helped. Because you never know. I wanted a late spring baby, but was expecting a summer baby.... I didn't want a < 2 year gap but I'll be damned if I'm not splitting hairs over here

@MrsHoneyC: I really thought because I was nursing and my cycles were too regular that we would end up ku a lot later so told dh we should start a bit earlier. 1st try and they will be 20 months apart. We decided to try for a 2nd sooner than later so we could just ge t the newborn phase out of the way since we didnt think we would go back to it if we waited long enough.
Good luck!

LO1 was our happy surprise. LO2 was conceived on my first cycle once we decided to try for #2.

Our second only took us one try. We were VERY surprised and even more surprised to learn it was TWINS!

@MrsHoneyC: I just always had the idea that with my kids close in age, they would be closer as they grew up. Also as children they might be more likely to play together and be interested in similar things at the same time. The newborn time was challenging in many ways, neither of our kids were the type that sleep anywhere or anytime and we can't stand missing naps so it means being stuck at home a lot. So there was also an element of wanting to get that time period over with. But you've already been through the baby period and know how you deal with it. I know some people can be more active than we were.

As for making it easier... Hmm. My DH and I were both home for my entire maternity leave so its not like it was just me drowning in diapers or anything like that. I think part of it was sleep deprivation on his part, he doesn't deal well with that and was grumpy a lot. That put a lot of strain on our relationship and created a lot of tension in our house. I guess it was less noticeable with our first son because there were two of us to team up on him, and he slept through the night really early. The second was never a great sleeper, and even though I got up with him every time, DH was very stressed out for a long time. I hate to place blame but it is hard to remember anything that made it harder than that stress reaction.