Hellobee Boards

Well, for Easter, I decided yesterday what I wanted to do, but normally we decide at least a month in advance.

Very last minute when we spend holidays with local family. Days before!

That's so annoying. We don't normally plan in advance, just cause family's so close. This weekend we have plans Sunday to go to my parents house, and I'd been meaning to invite my MIL. She lives alone and we try to make an effort to include her as much as possible, even though it's a pain since she doesn't drive outside of her neighborhood. I hadn't got around to calling her and then my partner mentioned it to her, and I think she felt like I didn't really want her to come since I didn't ask her. I invited her yesterday and she said wasn't sure and didn't want us going out of the way. Then she invited us over to a Greek feast cooked by her neighbors boyfriend Saturday!

So now I feel like we obligated to spend our whole weekend having Easter meals. I don't mean to sound like a brat but it's kind of a pain when we look forward to some quiet family time just us 3 all week!

@autumnlove: Ditto-- we are local (less than 20 minutes) from both sides of the family, so we don't need to plan in advance.

We plan at least a few weeks in advance, but it irritates me so much when my in laws get mad at me for not wanting to plan Christmas like 7 months in advance! Sorry, not thinking about Christmas in July!!

My family is mostly local and DH's family doesn't really celebrate a lot of holidays since my MIL passed. So our holidays are pretty set in stone in that the majority of them are at my grandmother's house. The only thing that might change in the future is the location when she feels like she can't handle hosting.

Years. We alternate countries for holidays so plans are made well in advance.
MIL doesn't get this and gets butthurt when we don't spend Christmas with her on my family's year. And then skips her turn to go to tennis camp.

That's really annoying, and I know from experience, because my IL's do that too.

We plan a good 3-4 weeks ahead and we only live 5 minutes from both families. We've tried for years to coordinate so we could see both sides of the family, but the IL's side makes plans very last minute, and typically because they do this, the plans always interfere with our other plans. They've definitely taken offense to this, no matter how far in advance we've asked them about holidays.

We're at the point where we just don't see them because they don't make enough of an effort to make plans in advance.

At least a month. But honestly, we check in with both sets of parents to see what they were thinking of doing. We also often get together with both sides since my sister lives a plane ride away my parents just come to wherever we are, and my IL love having them if they are hosting. Recently we have been hosting a lot since our house is big enough to host 15-20 and I like to cook. We also have a few sets of friends that we always invite. The more the merrier in my little corner of the world.

@ElbieKay: this is what my in laws do and it annoys me and DH!

We usually make plans at least a month in advance, however my family all live several hours away and DH's family live 10 minutes away. So they assume they get us by default for every single holiday! It's annoying to me, because sometimes I would rather just celebrate at home with my DH and son, but DH feels like since they are so close, we need to stop by for every holiday.

We've had a rotation since we we first started dating - one year we do Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with his, and the next year vice versa. We do our own thing for Easter since there's no time off that goes along with it, and both our families are at least a six-hour trip away (one by car, one by plane). I'm sure one day some other commitment will pop up that will throw our schedule off, but we try to maintain it as strictly as possible to reinforce boundaries (mostly with my mom, who wouldn't be satisfied even with ALL the holidays to herself).

@coopsmama: this used to happen to us all the time. Now, we make plans and then tell everyone our plans and ask when they would like to celebrate.

Stinks that FIL assumes you're just sitting at home waiting to celebrate with them.

Plans with our families involve travel so they are generally made several months in advance. If we are just staying home and no one is coming to us then we make local plans a couple weeks ahead.