Six of us from all over the country are planning a friend's bridal shower over e-mail, and one question is: "What is each bridesmaid's budget?" I have no idea! FYI, we'll probably have the shower at a restaurant with brunch and some decorations, favors, etc. I'm estimating maybe 15-20 guests?
How much have you spent on a bridal shower?
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
Probably $100-$150 or so to help host. Then a gift is a separate expense.
honeydew / 7622 posts
I spent $450 for 12 people total at a winery with a brunch catered. At the time I was recently pregnant and feeling awful so I did not want to have to do anything. That included floral arrangements and gratuity. I was the only host.
pear / 1955 posts
I hosted a shower at a restaurant for around 35 attendees, and the total cost was around $1200 for food, decorations, favors, games, etc. Each of the bridesmaids paid $100 + a gift basket (for prizes/raffle), and I footed the rest of it.
pineapple / 12793 posts
The last time I was a bridesmaid the shower was $2400 split four ways. The other girls planned it because they were all local and I couldn't even go to the shower. I had agreed to a couple hundred bucks...I was pissed.
pear / 1580 posts
@Smurfette: That's around what I'm hoping for, too.
@youboots: Wow, what a great idea! Sounds like it was a pretty good deal considering all the services and how unique it must've been.
@raspberries: I have a feeling that's how ours is going to end up, too. $1200 divided by the six of us shouldn't be all that bad... Was it a brunch/lunch/dinner?
pear / 1580 posts
@oliviaoblivia: Whoa! That sucks! I'm afraid that's what could happen here... I'm due two weeks after the shower, so I can't travel to go to this, so I'm afraid that I won't have much say as to how much it'll cost. But the girls seem thoughtful and nice, so hopefully I'll be able to communicate my budget constraints...
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
@ineebee: Most were in people's houses, with us all splitting the food. I will be hosting one this summer with the other bridesmaids but will be at a restaurant, so I think it will be $200 or so.
honeydew / 7622 posts
@ineebee: I'm not sure what the etiquette is but if you won't even be able to attend how can you technically be a host.
I think it would be fair to say.... As you may know I won't be able to attend the shower since we will be welcoming a new baby shortly after the shower. I would be happy to contribute $150 which is my maximum budget for this event who should I send the check to? No need to include me on further shower emails.
Perhaps something a little nicer sounding, but girlfriend you have a lot going on, and as excited as you are for a friend I'm sure the other ladies will understand if you are taking a backseat on this one.
The shower I hosted was for a close friend getting married the second time with only 50 guests and no wedding party. Since I did not have to pay for a bridesmaid dress and other expenses I was happy to spring for one really nice party to celebrate.
pear / 1955 posts
@ineebee: It was a lunch - it turned out really nice, although there were a lot of random upcharges from the restaurant (there was a plating fee if we brought in our own cake, an extra charge for fresh fruit in the bellinis, etc.)
pear / 1580 posts
@youboots: Is that allowed? 
I'm not sure what the etiquette is when I'm not able to be there. Maybe that should've been the question in my post! But what's worse is that another of our six bridesmaids is also having a baby and won't be able to come. I hate to leave the four BMs with all the responsibility, so I thought I'd help plan/contribute as much as I can...but maybe that's unrealistic?
cantaloupe / 6751 posts
@ineebee: Even if you can't be there, I think it would be nice to offer to help in some way - perhaps help come up with shower games or order the cake?
honeydew / 7622 posts
@ineebee: I think it's fair to be clear about expectations up front. I would not suddenly be setting up budgets after the party is over.
Honestly I give pregnant women some kind of mental blanket forgiveness for not being able to do much for the three months prior and three months or more after having a baby.
blogger / coconut / 8306 posts
@ineebee: the last time I was a bridesmaid was a logistical nightmare. We agreed on a budget & booked a venue, and when it came time to pay some of the bridesmaids played dumb and didn't "know" we had to pay for food. One girl said since she couldn't fly in for the shower she shouldn't have to contribute. For 50 people, we paid about $10/pp and 3 BM contributed $120 and I footed the rest of the bill, including invitations, games, cake & prizes.
ETA: Don't forget to budget for tax & gratuity. Our venue charged 6.75% tax and 18% gratuity on the final bill.
persimmon / 1396 posts
The last shower that I hosted was for my SIL. There were 5 bridesmaids total- I was the Matron of Honor and she had a Maid of Honor. I footed the bill for just about everything. The maid of honor was a flake, and a total bitch. The rest of the bridesmaids offered to bring 2 dishes each. I spent over $500, and the rest spent maybe $20. It was a disaster and makes my blood boil to think about it.
If I were you, I would just send a check for a small amount to contribute, maybe $100, and a gift.
pomegranate / 3779 posts
I've hosted showers for ~$150 up to ~$500, depending on what we were doing. In this case, I think you would be totally justified in saying you can afford $X and sending a check. If you want to be more involved, you could offer to handle invitations - those are done early and can be done without being there.
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
The last one I threw was $200/a person, we agreed to $100 a piece (small shower at a house. One girl went rogue and then "provided her receipts to split the cost." I was very upset because the "rogue" items were on these very weird balloon arches that were completely unnecessary and pricey as well as another unnecessary item that we agreed not to do but she wanted so she did it anyway. I didn't' know her well enough to "fight it" and didn't want to come off cheap, but I was not happy.
coconut / 8430 posts
I have only hosted showers at someone's home. For the last one, my half was around $150-200 for ~15 guests.
@LuLu Mom: Same thing happened to me! What annoys me the most is the other host and I had a "budget talk" and we agreed to spending $200 for everything (food, decor, games). The other host decided to go rogue and purchase a TON of extra food which ended up going to waste/she kept. We had enough food to feed an extra 20+ people.
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