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One of the things that happens when you lose a child, no matter where in your pregnancy you are, is that you lose the sense of innocence that normally comes with the territory. I liken it to stepping through a door to the other side of innocence. You can never go back to where you were before because now you know too much. Thankfully, there are so many people on this side of the door waiting to support us and wishing we never had to be there in the first place.

It is only natural, to look at someone else, especially someone so close to us, who is still on that other side of innocence and have feelings of jealousy and hurt. Nothing you have said here has any indication of you being anything other than human. I am glad for you that you were able to do what you feel is right and I hope that you can continue to move forward towards forgiveness for both yourself and your situation.

I saw your post over there and was so surprised at the way some people reacted to you. I'm glad you finally got the courage to say something. I am interested to hear her reaction.

Thank you for sharing with us here. I can understand why you would find the photo situation difficult but it is great that you have made steps to be ok with it. It doesn't matter that it took you a while. I am sorry to hear about your MC.

This is going off the topic a bit but I am curious go know what the environment in WB is like. I am not familiar with it. Is it not a supportive place?

@junebugmama: Thanks! That is interesting because not every one here is a mom, pregnant or TTC either. I have come across so many websites where people are so mean to each other but everyone is supportive here so far. I think the HBs will maintain our nice environment.

I think it's really brave of you to decide to share again after the response you got over on WB. I can't say that I can relate to what you're going through - but I do understand the emotions and how it's easy to feel as you did.

I think it's wonderful that you were able to be the bigger person and, even more so, to write her a congratulatory email! You should be really proud of yourself and I'm sure your family would be as well, if they knew.

Good for you, cycle twin (I'm Keppa on both boards).

You aren't rude. Grieving the loss of your child takes time. And only you know how Long it will take to be okay. Plus, it doesn't mean you love your cousin less but you simply couldn't deal. I think when you are ready it might be nice to tell her it wasn't her. That she didn't do anything but that you needed time. Hang in there and we are here not to judge but to listen

I hate when people are mean when you get the guts to be honest. I talked about being jealous of my sister which was really hard and many people thought I was totally lame. (I hope my comment wasn't offensive or unsupportive! I tried to be bright-side.)

You are most definitely not rude. You are doing a great thing by congratulating your cousin and communicating with her.

My sister has been trying to conceive for the last 3-4 years, and she had IVF treatment in August 2010 which was unsuccessful. I conceived that same month, and she had a difficult time speaking to me. I knew not to take it personally because she was going through such a hard time. Surprisingly my not so great relationship with her has strengthened with the birth of my son.

They just don't understand yet. I've never experienced it, but holy cow, I can only imagine a hint of what it would feel like, and I think you were being generous in your actions. Not rude at all. Grieving is a personal process, and I'm sorry you were attacked about it. Obviously you've got a different set of women here who have an idea of what you're going through.

Your post on WB was titled "Do I need to chill?" and you started it with "So I just need you to tell me if I need to chill out and accept what has happened or if how I feel is ok and it isn't super selfish to want to cancel... "

Some people responded to your question and said yes you need to chill, others explained that they had been hurt when they were on the other side of the situation, and other people were on your side. Nobody attacked you in that post or said you are rude, ONE person said they thought it was "slightly rude" to avoid your cousin altogther.

Your post here is not an honest representation of the response you got on WB. I dont understand the need for you to exxagerate how bad the responses you got on WB were.

Hey guys... let's keep our focus on Hellobee and not on any other sites.

Thanks.

I'm going to go ahead and close this thread.

Mrs. Bee and I love both sites, and are not really comfortable discussing the pros and cons of each - especially while Hellobee is still in private beta.