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Usually if you plan your party you should pay for it. but! I think it's a Korean/California thing. We always End up splitting the bill and paying for the bday girl too.

If you invite people, you pay for your own food.

@banana: how old is she? I stopped having parties when I was 18! Would just have intimate dinners with 3-4 friends. I know people out there who celebrate every stinking birthday by inviting 20+ ppl......... -.-
I would just use your kids as an excuse and not go to the dinner

@banana: I always go out to dinner with my group of girlfriends on each of our birthdays. We always pay for the birthday girl's food/drinks. HOWEVER, she never organizes it herself.
If I were to organize something for my own birthday, I would definitely pay for my own food. I think it's weird she doesn't offer... in fact, that's just plain rude and presumptuous!

@banana: yikes. I guess it boils down to how good of a friend she is. I still think it's ridic that she assumes you girls will pay. Sad.

in my circle even if birthday girl makes the reservations/plans, we always pay and she doesn't. but it is cultural too....

@banana: RUDE.

I would never have my own birthday dinner and then expect my friends to pay.

RUDE!!

My circle of gfs and I always plan a bday dinner, but it's the non bday girls that plan, and also pay for dinner.

I definitely think that if the birthday girl is planning the dinner, she should be prepared to pay. If her friends decide that they'd like to cover her evening, that's up to them.

I prefer small dinners for my birthday but we have friends who plan big to-dos every, single year for their birthday and we're all at least 30. Sometimes they'll plan a whole weekend of events! I'm not sure how I feel about those dinners/bar outings but we try to go to be nice.

I would never refuse to pay a bill if I was the one that organized the gathering no matter what the occasion was.

@Mrs. Bee: It's similar for us... if we go to dinner as a group, the group always splits the bill and pays for the birthday girl/boy (unless there's an SO, and the SO pays for that person).

If we have a party, then we pay for it ourselves.

That's so weird. If she's the one inviting people, planning the whole thing and even ordering for everybody then it's really odd for her to expect to be treated - even if it is her birthday!

If someone else organized it, then I can see how she would maybe think that. But it's not the same when you organize it all.

We always expect to cover the bday person's portion of a group bill when going out for a bday celebration.

@yoursilverlining: Yup ditto, even if they're the ones who arranged it. Of course, if they pick a super expensive place and take charge of ordering, and the bill gets crazy, that might be a different story. But I've never had that experience.

With my group of friends, it usually IS the birthday girl (or guy) that plans and arranges the birthday dinner. Since it's their birthday, they decide where they want to go and invite people to it. Those that can make it show up and those that can't, don't.

Then it's always assumed that everyone will pay for their OWN meal. So if one person is ordering apps, desserts, wines, etc, THEY have to pay for that - not everyone else. So if someone has a smaller budget, they don't have to stress about what other people are doing.

USUALLY, someone will pick up the tab for the birthday person. Often it's the significant other, but my husband and I have picked up the tab for my best friend AND her husband before. Sometimes everyone will pitch in to pay for the birthday person. But it's at the discretion of the guests to decide if they want to do that or not and the birthday person always goes into dinner with the assumption that they will be paying their own meal (although they usually don't have to).