For those with older kids who are in kinder or 1st grade, what are your kids learning right now at school? Can they read really well now? What is expected of a 3rd grader by the time he starts school? If you're a teacher and have experience with international kids, were those kids held back a year because they were schooled internationally (not an American school)? Or do they get tested to see if they are on target for the grade level that they are suppose to be in based on their birth date?

My husband and I are disagreeing about what to do with our oldest. I was born in Asia and currently are living here for a few years and I really want our oldest (turning 6 in a few months) to go to a local school here so he can continue to learn his native language (Chinese). It is going to be really hard to continue learning Chinese once we move back to the U.S. b/c it'll only be once a week for 2 hours. Right now, he is in kinder going to a bilingual Montessori school and is thriving there. He still speaks perfect English and can also speak his native tongue really well now too, and voluntarily! Anyway, this really good local school nearby (locals rave about it being that it's a public school), they offer English but so limited for 1st graders (2x a week for 40 minutes each - prob not enough). Also, he is probably going to be ahead in English as he starts 1st grade there. I don't think kids learn the alphabets until they are in 1st grade unless their parents teach them at home. My son can read really easy books now. I'm a little torn that I may have to either tutor him in English outside of school (and I'm not a teacher) or sign him up for English classes after school every day. I don't mind doing either as long as my husband is in agreement. But he is not.

My husband really wants him to attend the American school here which is an excellent school. And only wealthy locals who can afford it send their kids there and it's really hard to get in. We'll get in without a problem. I have friends who graduated from here and all have gone on to attend ivy league colleges and are really successful in their careers now. So there is no doubt that it is a great school. All of my husband's colleagues' kids love it there. I know my son would too; but then there is the lack of Chinese classes there. And all the kids speak English there. It will be hard for my son to maintain his Chinese if I don't primarily speak it to him at home. I do speak more at home now, but it's hard since my husband can't speak as fluently as I do. He understands, but can't respond in a full sentence without needing help.

I thought taking my husband to visit the school today would help but he wasn't convince AT ALL. I agree, the lack of English is concerning. But I also think he will catch up if he falls behind when we move back to the states. Worse case, he gets held back one year. It's really not that bad to me; but not to my husband. He doesn't want him to be held back at all.

SO, here we are... I'd love to hear what would you do if you were in my situation? How would you convince your husband to have your son attend a local school? And, teachers, what are your thoughts. What level should a 3rd grader be expected to be at by the time he starts? What about a 2nd grader? Because, my compromise is to have him attend the local school first, and then attend the American school during our last year here so if he's behind, he can catch up here rather than back in the states.

Thanks for reading this super long problem of mine!