My friend's baby showers were cancelled due to pregnancy complications. Baby is coming early. One hostess cancelled her shower and the other postponed it with no mention of when it will be.
If your showers were cancelled or postponed how did you get your stuff so you were equipped when baby arrived?
pineapple / 12793 posts
My parents brought it to me when they came to meet the baby. It meant that my dad and husband were at home assembling the crib while I was at the hospital, but it all worked out fine.
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
Can someone set up a drop off station and sort of collect everything?
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
We didn't get a shower last time. We bought our gear. In adoption, people mostly don't do showers because you never know... So we buy our stuff as should be expected for everyone. And we are infinitely grateful for any handmedowns given by friends.
Edited to add: I guess my reaction was more to the fact that I feel like no one should expect gifts to kit out the child that they chose to have... But I don't think that's what you meant at all in this case 
cantaloupe / 6751 posts
Maybe one of the hostesses could offer to collect all the gifts and drop it off to the parents-to-be?
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
I think I might have misunderstood. People already bought them stuff?
pomelo / 5129 posts
My sister's first was 6 weeks early so she hadn't had a shower. They simply made due (and I think had a welcome home baby party later?)
He was so tiny that he didn't need a crib anyway. I'm pretty sure he slept in a laundry basket at first.
cantaloupe / 6059 posts
Well, having a shower isn't exactly a guarantee that you're (and by you I mean your friend) going to get all your gear anyways. Hopefully if someone bought them something that was necessary immediately they would drop it off themselves or coordinate delivery in some way.
grapefruit / 4800 posts
My grandmother passed away the day before mine so it was cancelled last min. it was rescheduled for several weeks later but people who couldn't make it then all had their own way of passing gifts along. . Some mailed gifts, some came to vist us or my parents, we didn't have any organized way.
grapefruit / 4235 posts
My SIL's baby shower was the Saturday after she gave birth due to pre-eclampsia at 32 weeks. Since it was so close, my mom and her mom had the shower anyway, they opened the gifts and delivered them to her.
pomelo / 5258 posts
@dagret: That was one idea the family is toying with. Do you know how your SIL felt about not being there? I really don't think my friend would care about missing her in law shower.
honeydew / 7230 posts
My work shower was supposed to be the weekend I was admitted to the hospital for pre term labor. I went home on bedrest a few days later, but just wasn't up to rescheduling. Some of my work friends brought over a few after my babies were born. My mom's friend's daughter had her son early (30 weeks I think?) and they rescheduled her shower for when she was home from the hospital (her son stayed for several weeks after).
apricot / 253 posts
I was just about to consider letting my sister throw me a shower when my water broke at 28 weeks and I was put on hospital bedrest for the remainder of my pregnancy.
A very dear friend took it upon herself to organize a sort of "virtual" shower and gifts were sent directly to my home. Perhaps the hostesses could contact their guests and arrange to pick up the gifts?
grapefruit / 4418 posts
If I was attending a cancelled shower, I'd put my gift in the mail or stop over to drop it off if it wasn't going to impose too much on the family.
pomegranate / 3272 posts
I've been to a few showers that happened after the baby was born due to either an early birth or b/c my friend is Jewish and that's her tradition.
grapefruit / 4235 posts
@Corduroy: TBH she's very dramatic so she still talks about it. (My nephew will be 7 next month.) but that's her personality... At the time, her main concern was with my nephew's health, not missing her shower, you know? I know she appreciated/was touched by all the gifts but I think she really misses that center of attention opportunity. ETA: my nephew was in the hospital for probably 6 or 8 weeks, so it depends on how early the baby is, but you don't necessarily know when to reschedule a shower... it's a tough call.
grapefruit / 4584 posts
It might be too late, but I've seen showers still take place with the mama attending via FaceTime from her hospital bed. It gives family and friends a chance to get together and get excited for the baby (and bring their gift). In many cases, there are sunk costs for the shower (cake, food, decorations, or a venue deposit), so the view is that these might as well to good use. Of course I'd never do the above without the mom-to-be saying it's fine....if it were me, I'd say go ahead.
pomelo / 5628 posts
I had my baby at 25 weeks in October and we had a shower in December...still before he came home. The NICU supplies everything necessary, so although not ideal (and a bit more somber), it worked out fine.
I think a lot of people didn't quite know how to interact with me/were scared to talk about it and having a shower made things feel more normal, so definitely do something for her!
pomegranate / 3401 posts
I had my baby unexpectedly at 30 weeks and never had a shower. We bought most of the big things ourselves and our family gifted us a couple of very nice big items (stroller, car seat). We did not reschedule the original shower but had a Welcome Home party once LO got discharged from the NICU. at that time we got gifts but we're not expecting it at all!
apricot / 268 posts
I know of one person this happened to and the host ended up rescheduling the shower for after the mom and baby were home. I can see that being tricky though depending on how the new mom is feeling and also with it being flu season here.
If I had purchased a necessity from someone's registry and this happened, I would be sure to mail or drop it off to them, hopefully her guests will do the same!
nectarine / 2180 posts
My friend delivered at 26 weeks and she had her shower about 8 weeks later, when baby was still in the NICU, but was more stable.
apricot / 274 posts
I had my baby at 27 weeks. We had just sent out the invitations for the shower. My best friend called everyone and said we were rescheduling it and to wait for a new invitation. We had it 2 months later. My baby was still in the NICU, so I didn't need any gear.
nectarine / 2220 posts
I think maybe I'm confused as well as to whether people have already bought gifts and it was cancelled at the last minute?
Mine wasn't cancelled but it's considered bad luck to bring baby stuff into a house before a baby is there so my shower was after baby was born, by about a month. It meant that I just purchased all the stuff I'd need right away by myself. I only got a bit of clothing at the shower, no major items at all.
nectarine / 2784 posts
I didn't have a shower and I bought everything myself. I'm sure some people will give the baby a gift after the birth but as far as gear I'm self-equipped. If I were a guest at a shower that was canceled and I had bought a gift or was planning to, I would arrange for the gift to bd delivered to the mom-to-be's home or with the shower host if for some reason that wasn't possible.
pomegranate / 3375 posts
@Corduroy: I would contact the host, and ask if she's arranged to take the gifts over to the mom. If you don't get a response, ask your friend when/where to drop the gift. She's probably stressed and doesn't want/need to worry about all of that.
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