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I didn't have the experience you had, but I would remind you that your first pregnancy will not be your second, and your first child will not be your second. I don't know the details of your pregnancy so that might be the same (although depending on what was rough about it some things could maybe be planned for and managed?), same with childbirth. My first child was a fairly bad sleeper, didn't sleep more than 3 hours straight until past 6 months. My second was and continues to be an amazing sleeper.

For what it's worth, I also found going from 1 to 2 to be much easier than going from 0 to 1 - I was much less anxious, I knew what to expect which made it easier, etc.

Good luck with whatever you decide! And remember that you don't have to decide NOW - you could wait another year until he's got even more communications, self control, etc and see where you are.

With your first, he is just going to get more independent and be an even better communicator. I had our 2nd when my 1st was 2; and what a difference a year makes! At 2 she was still very baby-ish but now she is like a full blown person and she can actually help me!

I also agree that it's a chance you take, but LO2 doesn't have to be exactly like LO1. Same with pregnancy. I also feel that if trying for a 2nd will complete your family, it's worth the hell-hole that is the 1st year of life. Neither of my kids were great sleepers; but with the 2nd one I just have so much more patience and am so much more mellow b/c I know when it's hard, that "this too shall pass".

I think if you can actively think of ways to manage possible PPD this time, figure out a few childcare arrangements, etc, it's totally doable! I love love love love my 2 girls and we're currently in limbo when it comes to a 3rd

I try not to think of family planning in the short term. In the grand scheme of life, pregnancy and the infant toddler years are a very small snippet of the life you would share with another child. Yes, they are difficult, but they are short-lived and if you feel like your family is not complete, then I wouldn't base a life long decision on the difficulty of a few years.

Also, @erinbaderin: is completely right. Your second pregnancy/child is likely to be completely different than your first, and you are much more experienced parents than you were the first time around as well.

I believe @gingerbebe has a more spirited LO1 and a more easy-going LO2. Hopefully she will chime in!

Not sure if you're feeling pressure to decide now because of your age or DH's age, but you really don't need to decide now. My LO is 4.5 years old and my husband has just come around to having a second in the last 6 months Not that it would take you that long, but we definitely didn't want to go ahead with trying for a second unless we were sure we were prepared, mentally and as a couple.

My first had always been challenging- very fussy and needy as an infant, and now at 4 she is still very spirited, emotional, prone to outbursts- but also incredibly smart and can be so sweet and funny. She had a period between 1 and 2 years where she was actually pretty easy and no surprise- that’s when I got pregnant with her little sister.

I won’t lie- being pregnant and nauseous and exhausted with a needy 2 year old was NOT easy. And even harder, the first 6 months or so with two kids. I had plenty of times thinking that I ruined a good thing by having a second kid. BUT now they are 2 and 4.5 and they just love each other so so much and are starting to play with each other and I cannot imagine only having my older one. And my second daughter is so much more easy going than her sister. Their personalities are so different.

So, I’m also saying if you want two, go for it. Your second may well be easier, and if not, you’ll make it through somehow and it will be worth it. I would just say have a plan in place in case PPD comes up again!

We had a difficult first child. He was colicky, and didn't sleep. I had PPA that went undiagnosed for a very long time (well into our second child) and I had experienced 2 losses before him. So I felt horribly guilty that I couldn't stand him screaming 24/7. He had some minor speech delays as well which caused more tantrums than the normal child. It just wasn't easy for us. Now that he's 5, he's an absolute dream. He's a rule follower and is just a sweet and funny little dude.

I went on to have 2 more miscarriages, and worked very hard for our 2nd son. He was an absolute angel baby who was "normal" by most people's standards. He ate and slept easily, was a happy baby, and I still had PPA. I couldn't connect with him, and I didn't realize it until he was 11 months. Going from 1 to 2 was something I was not prepared for. You go from being able to have a break by letting one of you take the kiddo to never having a break as usually someone has one or both kiddos. It wasn't until later that we figured out a good routine to give each other a break that we started to come out of our fog.

Now the boys are 5 and 2 - our youngest is extremely strong willed. He tests his boundaries constantly, which is completely opposite of my rule following older son. DS2 is purposefully defiant and throws more of a fit when there's consequences. I take that as normal 2 year old behavior, but he's just more intense than DS1 was.

Looking back, we've been through hard times with both of them at different stages. I was pregnant 6 times and have 2 beautiful boys who I wouldn't trade for the world. I think there will always be hard times with each of them. DS1 is sensitive, and DS2 is defiant...I think a lot of it is their age, but who knows if they'll continue down those paths. If you feel in your gut that your family isn't complete, I don't think you should let the fear of the unknown hold you back. It could be your biggest blessing.

My first sounds very very similar to your child. Colicky, hated being held (unless he faced out), terrible sleeper, struggled with breastfeeding, speech delay, early walker, climbed/explored everything. So, SO exhausting! I wanted a large family and then I had my first. Ha! It took until he was 18 months old before I even considered having another. At 20 months we figured we'd start trying since it took us a while to get and stay pregnant the first time. I got pregnant the first month and was terrified the whole time. I felt like I was preparing for battle knowing what having a newborn was like. And then my second was born and he is so different from his brother. Loved snuggling, breastfed relatively easily, decent sleeper, no colic. I am actually even considering a third now.
Obviously it's a luck of the draw but you aren't destined to have another challenging baby. I think going from 1 to 2 was waaaay easier than 0 to 1, but I think much of that stems from having such a rough go the first time.
Good luck in whatever you decide.

Meeee! My girls are 2yrs 9mth apart. I hated almost every second of the first 2yrs of being a parent. A horrible birth experience, colic, breastfeeding problems, PPD, the works. My oldest didn't STTN until she was 3. I wasn't sure we would survive another baby, but I couldn't shake the longing for the missing person. My second daughter was very different - and I really enjoyed her babyhood. It has actually been a very healing experience for me. She is a WILD toddler now - so much more challenging than her sister ever was - but watching my girls adore each other makes it totally worth it.

Not my first, but I have similar feelings now after having my third. My first 2 pregnancies were very smooth, but this last one was just awful with hyperemesis and so.much.bleeding, I constantly thought I was miscarrying. I vowed to never have another pregnancy, I couldn't do it again! But now that she's here, there's a growing feeling that I'll regret not trying once more for a boy (we have 3 girls). It's so stupid since I can't guarantee the gender, and my husband is firmly in the NO camp, but I feel like someone's missing!