I have two sets of in laws and it's fair to say I've had more of a roller coaster ride with them than with DH 
I've loved, liked, hated, tolerated, and everything in between with these folks. I was talking to my mom and she was like not all in laws are monsters...and she's totally right! So let's have a poll!
Add anything else you'd like as well. 
131 votes
kiwi / 698 posts
I waved somewhere between "love" and "like". They are truly wonderful people, but there are certain things about them that drive me bananas (but I'm sure that goes both ways!). I loved them much less when we lived with them for 10 months after our wedding. Distance definitely made me like them muuuuuuch more!
pomegranate / 3350 posts
I've come to learn that they can't be counted on and are not there for us when we need them. I kind of gave up on having a like or love relationship but I did try! I voted tolerate.
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
I like them! I 
seeing how much MIL loves LO. My FIL and that side of the family are really fun to be around. There are times when I am annoyed by them to no end, but that's life and visits aren't long.
nectarine / 2466 posts
I like my fil, he's done a lot of good for us and always tries to be helpful while respecting us as parents.
I really like my step fil even though we don't have much of a relationship.
I can't stand my mil
So all over the map!
persimmon / 1367 posts
I voted "like", as the balance between tolerate and love. I LOVE my MIL, she's awesome and has great boundaries while remaining supportive. I tolerate my FIL (they're married), he's a good person but his politics drive me up a wall!
apricot / 360 posts
I used to like my in-laws to some extent, somewhere between tolerate and like. They are nice enough people, but I didn't necessarily love being around them.
We went through a loss a few months ago and both my husband and I had issues with how they acted towards us and how they decided to make up a story about what happened for the rest of their family. Since then it's pretty much been hate on my part. I haven't seen or spoken to them since then. I know it won't be like this forever though, so I voted tolerate.
grapefruit / 4321 posts
I don't hate them, but they cause a lot of friction in our marriage are generally really disrespectful about boundaries, and are generally negative people, and I really have no desire to put any effort into having a positive relationship with them. So I chose tolerate them, but it's probably not quite that good.
cantaloupe / 6791 posts
I love them and we're really close. DH is an only child and we've been together since high school, so they really are like a second set of parents to me. They've included me as family since the very beginning. They're involved grandparents and love our kids like crazy, but they also respect boundaries.
I somehow got really, really lucky! On the other hand, DH probably likes and/or tolerates my family, depending on the person.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
I love them 100%! I got really lucky in the in law department. There are more people in my own family that drive me crazy.
persimmon / 1322 posts
I have two sets of in laws as well, my father in law and his wife (they've been married since my husband was a toddler), and my mother in law and her husband (they've been together for 15+ years). I waver between tolerate and like with both sets.
I've only met my father in law 5 times, and his wife only three times. They're nice enough people, we just don't really have much of a relationship. I also have a hard time with the fact that they don't really visit, they just expect us to visit. The last time we saw the both of them was thanksgiving two years ago when we flew to visit them in Alaska with our then three month old and my 10 year old stepson. The only reason we've seen my father in law since was a death in the family. We also have some pretty extreme political differences.
My mother in law...I tolerate. She is a decent grandma but was not a great mother. She is judgemental, dramatic and has a tendency to guilt trip. I wouldn't say I dislike her, but she's definitely not my favorite person.
blogger / nectarine / 2043 posts
@Truth Bombs: This resembles mine as well, though I'm probably somewhere closer to tolerate because they're good people and the things they do that cause friction and boundary issues are very cultural and aren't coming out of malice, so I get the reasoning but it still makes our lives hard. And they've violated those boundaries enough that I am not putting any more effort into the relationship, it just is what it is.
honeydew / 7622 posts
Right now it's going badly because MIL does not respect our rules/boundaries. So currently we are taking a break, which is too bad we have been close for over 10 years. I took an average and voted tolerate
pomelo / 5573 posts
I have two sets. FIL and SMIL I go between love and like - they're wonderful people but some of the things they do make me crazy. MIL and SFIL I hate. I've only met them once in the 16 years we've been together, the only relationship we have with them is when MIL needs money or to complain about something.
pomegranate / 3658 posts
Love. They are endlessly helpful and a lot of fun to be around, and fully invested in supporting my parenting decisions/approach.
pomegranate / 3375 posts
I voted "tolerate". My views on life, kindness, inclusiveness, etc. are vastly different from my in-law's views. I'm grateful to live far from them. DH had a horrible, horrible childhood, and while I don't hold grudges, part of me can never forget that his parents were the reason. They've changed (a bit), but I don't see them as especially necessary to our lives. When we lived closer, we purposely took breaks from the relationship with them, because it was just too much.
honeydew / 7463 posts
Tolerate. I really can't stand them but hate is pretty extreme. I don't like them. So I guess tolerate is the best option.
nectarine / 2173 posts
Love. They do things that drive me bonkers sometimes but so does my own family. No drama really though.
kiwi / 635 posts
Love!
BUT that doesn't mean it's easy...!! I believe relationships are hard period! My in-laws definitely have some boundary issues and can be very pushy and difficult at times and i struggle every week with it. But i am so thankful that they raised my wonderful husband and love us in the way they know how to.
pear / 1718 posts
I like them. I love them for DH and what they mean to him. I will never understand his siblings and the way they operate, and why his parents allow them to operate that way. As long as we take care of ourselves and rely on them for absolutely nothing, we're doing okay and I can almost love them.
There is no drama and they are very kind people. DH's siblings bleed them dry of energy though and never pay babysitters to watch their kids, so we are stuck with what is left. We're not even looking for a babysitter, just grandparents to make an effort to see their other grandkids. I am trying my hardest to accept it for what it is while also striking a balance--not bending over backward to make their lives easier while they make the other siblings lives easier.
nectarine / 2951 posts
It waivers between Like and love. They ultimately are good people and love us and our kids. They help take care of my boys. They stepped up and helped when I was on bedrest with #2. That being said, I'd love them a lot more if I didn't see them weekly and if they didn't sleep over weekly.
pear / 1809 posts
I tolerate them. Sometimes I like them, but once I start feeling that way, they usually do something that brings them back down to only tolerable for me.
eggplant / 11716 posts
In between like and love for me, just because our relationship is still somewhat formal. I definitely appreciate what kind of people they are and how they raised their kids and all the sacrifices they made. They generally let us do our own thing (I can only think of 1 overstep since we had kids), and are really nice. My husband likes my mom too, so we all got lucky!
It also probably helps that we are far from both sides of the family, haha.
clementine / 874 posts
I only have my MIL and I like her very much. She's great to my son and watches him around once a week, but sometimes she expects my husband to drop everything he's doing to help her and that kind of irks me.
nectarine / 2047 posts
Love DHs parents, tolerate his sisters (he would vote the same way
bananas / 9227 posts
After a crazy visit with my mom over the holidays, I can no longer complain about my in-laws But really, I can not complain.
grapefruit / 4291 posts
90% of the time I love them but the other 10% they drive me a little bit crazy! We recently had them to stay for ten days and it didn't go so well which is still tainting my feelings (note to inlaws - if you bring an extra child with you, you are no longer "on holiday"!) (and note to said child's parents, it is customary to thank somebody for feeding and housing your child for ten days).
apricot / 356 posts
I voted disowned them but I didnt, he did. I've only seen them about 5 times at family birthdays so I don't know them and we have no real relationship with them. Just to be clear I'm talking about the parents in law. It's a very tricky situation and I've learnt to let him take the decisions as their his parents even if I'm not sure how it will affect our children...
But I get along really well with his brothers and their families.
pear / 1717 posts
Good for all you ladies who are not voting hate! I know how badly some in laws can make your skin crawl! lol
persimmon / 1095 posts
@LindsayLou: "judgmental, dramatic and has a tendency to guilt trip" you just described my MIL to a T!
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
I like my MIL and FIL well enough, but I've had so many issues with SMIL that I voted tolerate.
persimmon / 1322 posts
@alphagam84: You have my sympathies then! I have no idea how my mother in law ended up with such a calm, rational, even tempered son.
pomelo / 5524 posts
I voted like, but I really love my MIL. She truly loves being a grandmother, and our boys are her only grandchildren. She's often the mother I felt like I needed growing up but didn't have because my mom is crazy. My MIL does make comments every once in a while that I don't agree with, but I know she's not saying them to be purposefully malicious. I think my MIL is the easiest person to get along with.
My FIL drives me nuts, but again, he loves being a grandfather, and my boys love him. I try to see that aspect, even when he purposefully tries to argue with us. He's harmless, so I leave most of it go. I also let him have it when he's being disrespectful towards either me or DH. I think he's scared of me, so that helps 
Where I hit the jackpot in the MIL department, my DH really didn't. My mom is nuts. She's the MIL from hell, so I always give my DH and my two SILs props for dealing with her.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
Love! I don't see them that much but they are nice, helpful and respectful!
pomegranate / 3231 posts
I voted "tolerate". My MIL is pretty self-absorbed and a little entitled towards my husband. It is extremely irritating. Also, logic and analytic thinking are... not really her strengths.
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38 comments