Infertility is hard. It sucks. Once you beat it and have a LO is it easier to ttc the second time around or harder because you know how difficult it can be? I don't even know if I will ttc ever again right now because I'm still working on the first. Wishful thinking has me believing that it is easier once you have one child.
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No idea. I'm following, though! (TBH: once we successfully have a child, we will almost certainly not try biologically for LO#2.)
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I can say it's a bit easier for the fact that I already have one LO so if I can't have another I feel that I was blessed to just have one.
It took 3 yrs and one miscarriage later to have my son and I've been TTC#2 for a year. I thought I would be more relaxed this time but I'm just as frustrated as I was last time. I struggle with infertility so I'm not sure how I would feel if I could actually get pregnant easily. -
I think the sweet part of trying again, for #2, when you conceived your first through infertility, is that you have a reminder, in the flesh, that you need to keep going. Keep trying. Keep hoping. Those are all thoughts I had the first time around, but I didn't have a little smiling face to remind me that it's worth it. (Though he did exist in my dreams...)
I didn't wait long to go back to the RE to start trying for #2. I wish I could have taken it easy and seen if my body would be awesome and just get pregnant without trying. But thanks to the encouragement of several bees in a thread I posted a few months ago, I got back in to the RE, made my way through two more IUI/injectibles cycles, and I'm currently 6w5d pregnant with my 2nd baby.
I think the emotional/physical/financial part of infertility will always suck. Even if you have been through it once. It never really fades away completely. And for me, a lot of the feelings and emotions I battled the first time around came back vividly. But I do think the process makes you stronger for whatever life throws at you.
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Agree that at least having the one helps you know you can get there. But I actually found it more emotional. I'm unexplained and they gave me hope going to term might help ... But it took longer actually the second time and I felt super broken. I used to want a third but I can't stomach it again (nor am I any good at things like ntnp).
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We conceived LO with IVF. She will be one next week.
I like to pretend that we are NTNP even though for me there is no such thing. I know my body all too well (I thank infertility for this) that I can't ignore the signs of ovulation. It's just too obvious.
I have DOR and while it is technically possible to get pregnant naturally, the chances are just super slim. I find that this fact makes it hard. I know I shouldn't be hopeful but I still get my hopes up every months.
I feel very blessed to have LO and could see our family of 3 as a complete family. But part of me still wishes to give her a sibling.
I'm def not as sad or down as I was before I got pregnant with no 1 but infertility still gets to me. So I'd say yes it is a bit easier but honestly not a whole lot. -
For me it was harder and I just decided I was fine with being one and done. I knew I couldn't go back to the days of blood tests, clomid and worrying about the results of this test or that. I was unexplained infertility and I got pregnant with the help of clomid so compared to most my journey the first time was NOTHING but it mentally screwed with me. This time I got pregnant on my own and that was its own kind of shock, I had just convinced myself it was absolutely not possible...and well it was.
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For me, it was a lot easier at first, but it has been over 1.5 years now of serious trying and even waiting with adoption for us, so now it's a lot harder because it was a shorter wait for us the first time around. The good thing is that most people don't have to start at the beginning again, (don't need to get a diagnosis, don't have to start with the least invasive treatment, etc.) so I think it often goes faster and is a lot easier for most people. If we had been chosen or gotten pregnant within that first year or even 1.5 years of trying again I don't think it would have been so hard, but because of how long we've been doing this it's just as bad.
Sigh. Here's hoping you guys are parents SOON and that it will be quicker for you for #2 than #1! It is SO your turn!! -
For me it was easier the second time...I didn't feel as much pressure because I trusted my body a bit more. Our infertility was not as long and complicated to deal with as most though, so that could have played a part.
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I hope it is okay that I post here. I didn't struggle with conceiving my daughter, but #2 is taking awhile... It'll be 11 cycles soon. I think it would be a lot harder dealing with the negative pregnancy tests and disappointments if I didn't already have my LO. She keeps me busy all day so I honestly don't have as much time to dwell on it. Also, I can handle the possibility of not having a second child, but I couldn't deal with not having a baby at all.
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For me, "trying" for #2 was easier. When we got to the point where we'd be open to another we were sort of NTNP with the thought that it could take us a very long time to conceive naturally but that we weren't open to working with an RE right away. I now had J (my son) and he is my world, and so I figured the next baby would come when the time was right - I didn't have that need for another baby, in the same way I had it with my first. I was a mom and that was all that mattered. When we POAS only three months after NTNP because my period was later than normal and saw a + I started crying. It truly felt like a miracle to avoid all of that stress once again. However, I think even if we had had to do an IUI again for number 2 it would've seemed easier now that we already had a child.
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Even though it took a year both times, the second time was easier because I had Liam to enjoy. I was still a tense crazy person, but I was happier at times, too.
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No.
It is harder. So much harder.
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Harder, you have a reminder of what you have and what you want. I knew that we needed another one but it is also harder to put in the time and the money. And it feels so selfish.
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It's harder, in so many ways.
You know what you're missing - and you know how much you yearn for those pregnancy/newborn/infant days.
You know how hard it was last time - and the pain floods back to you so much faster when things mimic the original infertility.
People tell you to be grateful for what you have and don't understand the pain you're in, wanting a sibling and not being able to conceive/carry one.
You put on a happy face so that your little one won't know the pain you're in, the treatments you're going through, the utter sadness that's in your heart while you spent month after month with no baby in your arms.I could keep going... but it's harder.
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@jaguar:
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@sweetooth: THIS!
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For me it was so much harder. My losses didn't happen until after out first was born, and going through IF treatments is so emotionally exhausting not to mention physically taxing. I had another person to care for -- my oldest! -- so I couldn't veg out, relax, take a day off, etc.
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@jaguar & @mrsjumprope - yes yes yes. After what I thought was a bit long to conceive LO1, I was so frustrated that it took 3X as long to conceive LO2. Then after the m/c and D&C I was crushed. Watching LO1 grow into a little boy, all I could think of was how much longer it would be before he gets a sibling. We are still trying and hoping, but nothing can rewind the clock. If we are lucky he will be nearly 3.5 when he becomes a big brother (2.5 years after our "plan" - ha).
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For me, it was an entirely different universe. I had a child. I was pregnant. I gave birth. I was a mother. All of the fears I had of never getting those things were gone. And then it was disappointing to think that I might not get the family size I'd wanted, but that was just one very small piece.
I eventually decided that it wasn't happening, that I was happy with an only child, and that I was basically done. Of course, then I got pregnant. Now I'm experiencing the feeling of being pregnant when I don't really want to be, and that is a whole bizarre thing for this infertile person.
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