That sounds harsh, but I'm sick of my youngest not eating the dinner I make 9 times out of 10. She eats all the kid friendly things I make for breakfast or lunch, but generally refuses dinner. So much food gets wasted and I end up caving and handing her something she does like later on. I don't want to force her to eat, but I want to get better at saying "ok then, it will be there later if you are hungry, and no bedtime snack" Any tips on following through with this?
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Save the dinner in a way that is easy to give it later if she's hungry. So, something that can just be popped in the microwave for a minute and give it to her.
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If my son doesn't eat dinner because he's not really hungry, fine. If he ends up being hungry later, I do a combination of letting him eat the original dinner (if its something we can salvage) or giving him a really bland boring thing. At our house, that's rice or banana. That's it.
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@Bao: I haven't done this yet, but I sometimes wonder if bringing it back out at breakfast would solve the problem. My kids aren't too phased by going to bed w/o dinner if they don't like it, but are always STARVING at breakfast (regardless of whether or not they eat dinner nicely). They'd be mad if they had to eat dinner food instead of oatmeal, fruit, etc.....I'm hoping mad enough to start eating their original dinner?!?!
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This is such a battle for me lately. Usually I'll just ask what the kids want and the options are just what's in the fridge, no short-order cooking. The problem is, lately DS sticks to bread and cheese and then has stomach problems. He knows he has to eat veggies though, so most days I need to dig in and tell him that either he eats a veggie with the bread and cheese, or he's not really hungry. And then repeat that ten times over till he agrees to eat something acceptable. It's as fun as it sounds
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I leave the plate on the table. I'm not worried about food safety as there isn't a long time between dinner and bed. Hungry? Back to the table we go then!
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I mostly do what @gingerbebe: said. BUT I also tend to make foods she should like. She eats so much at breakfast (always) and lunch (sometimes) that I just don't worry. It's very rare that she asks for food before bed.
That said, I definitely end up giving her kid food for meals more than I would like. I just don't have it in me to make the effort for something she won't eat. So DH and I end up eating after them anyway.
This is about my 3 year old. The 1 year old is in that awesome pre toddler phase where she likes almost everything.
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If he's not eating much at dinner I'll remind him a couple times that this is his opportunity to eat and there's no more food once he leaves the table. We both WOH though, so dinner's not until around 6 and then we start bath at 7 so there's not much opportunity for snacking after dinner.
I found when I gave him an alternative, like a pouch, he'd always pick the alternative. So now it's dinner or nothing.
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We give him a small portion and say he had to taste everything (chew and swallow one bite). If he then doesn't like it he can have toast with cream cheese or any leftovers in the fridge from previous nights.
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@ShootingStar: that's why I want to work on this, I think she knows I'll give in to an alternative so instead of trying to eat what I give her she just holds out for something "better"
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I feel bad, but not enough to cane, so it's eat what we have or be hungry.
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We usually have at least one thing that we know she would eat, esp if the other stuff is more new/adventurous, etc.
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I just remind her, that she doesn't have to eat but she won't be getting anything else later. She will often try one bite of something to see if that convinces me to give her something else of her choosing but it doesn't. She almost never eats dinner anymore. Even foods that she likes. I may try what @PinkElephant suggested but I know that would be a ROUGh morning. But rough enough that it just might work!
My DD asked for a waffle with pb and blueberries today and about 5 minutes later I caught her throwing the ENTIRE waffle in the trash can. The ENTIRE thing because she changed her mind. So I get where you're coming from. It makes me so mad
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Well my kids aren't super picky so it hasn't been much of a battle. I know he will always eat the veggie and fruit so he always eats something. As long as the main dish isn't spicy, I don't ever make any alternative for DS1. 80% of the time he eats it without any fuss. Sometimes he doesn't care for it and I don't worry about it. He will always take a bite or two and then if he doesn't like it, he eats the other stuff.
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@Mrs. Sunshine: if you try it, will you please report back?! I'm so so tempted, but don't know how much I can take before coffee!
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My oldest are 3 and 5, they used to eat whatever we served without complaint but somehow they got pickier and pickier. Started around maybe 3.5 and 2. We make them take 1 bite for each year of age of the main dish. We serve dinner with a few side dishes that we know they'll like, including some veggies. ("sides" are nothing fancy, usually just some cut up fruit, veggies, crackers or chips, etc) They are decent eaters, open to trying anything, and we try to just make sure they have something they will eat that will keep them satisfied and are trying a variety of flavors.
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@Boogs: Same. She gets enough at breakfast and lunch plus snacks so if she chooses not to eat everything for dinner, there is no alternative. She's never woken up hungry. Fortunately she's been better with dinner lately but there was a phase she would go without for a few nights a week. Ugh
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Unless it is spicy, DS eats whatever we eat for any meal. I do pay attention and avoid things that I know he doesn't eat (eg. tomatoes, potatoes...etc) but in general we all eat the same thing at all meals. If he doesn't eat he doesn't get snack until the next meal, and I usually don't cave in on that. They will never learn if you keep caving in.
I do realize one thing, my DS (almost 5) would eat 1.5-2 good meals a day. So if he eats a good breakfast and lunch, chances are he may eat a lot less for dinner, because he is just not too hungry. Maybe that could be the case for you?
My problem is I get upset with the speed he eats. It takes him 1+ hour longer than the rest of us. I can't even take away his plate because he said he is not done. grrr. I don't quite know how to deal with that.
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@fancyfunction: Same here. It has finally gotten better again. It's hard to not cave, but I know they are just testing limits so I try to stand strong.
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My sister tells her kids that the kitchen is "closed" and shuts the lights off in the kitchen after the meal to drive home the point. I agree with @gingerbee. If they accept something bland like a banana then they aren't likely to make a habit of it.
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@Bao: is it possible she's just not that hungry at dinner time? When my big girl was smaller tea was often her smallest meal because she generally ate more at breakfast and lunch.
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At our house dinner is what's on the table and it gets eaten at meal time. If you don't then all you get is your glass of milk before bed. That said they usually (like 97% of the time) eat at least one of the components of dinner so they don't really ever go to bed hungry.
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@PinkElephant: haha I will definitely report!
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@PinkElephant: I have definitely brought out leftovers for breakfast! Sometimes I do this anyway - my family LOVES curries and chili for breakfast! I had one particular foster child who demanded pancakes (and ONLY pancakes) at every meal...it took a couple days to get consistent eating, but this method worked really well.
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I always give something when hungry. I want her to learn when she is hungry and for how much, but late night it is bland like ww toast or bagel.
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