Hellobee Boards

@cait: I mentioned this in a post above. @Neekierose: mentioned that since the NBA is an African-American bar association it's not surprising they disagree with the decision.

I disagree with that sentiment, obviously.

@mrsjazz: yeah...the whole 'they're mostly a black association, so they have an agenda' comment made my mouth hang open.

Thankful there are some voices of reason here. Disappointed in those who can't check their own privilege.

@erinpye: like

@Maysprout: or a mostly white grand jury...

I find it ironic that as this thread has continued people have started to pick apart the details of other posters responses, comments and opinions which takes away from the the purpose of the knowledgable conversation that this could be.

Ironic because it mimics the way the focus of the media in the aftermath of the actual incident and grand jury announcement also likes to focus on the action (the looters vs the peaceful protestors) and forgets (or doesn't care as much) about the bigger picture.

This is a message board on the internet - which means you're pretty much chatting with strangers. A lot can be lost in translation. It seems to me that it would be helpful instead of jumping down someone's throat about a comment to maybe stop and think if possibly you read the tone wrong. Or read what you wanted it to say not what was actually said. Most things can be twisted into a negative if you want it to but that doesn't mean it should be taken that way.

@Maysprout: I don't think that's what she's refering to.. I may be wrong but I think she is talking about the posters here who have picked apart comments from the members who had opinions they didn't share. It's happend multiple times to multiple posters in this thread. The point is all about tone. You can't always tell what someone else's tone is, so it's easy to make up your own, when you* could have easily taken it in the wrong context or tone.

Some of the comments in this thread really break my heart. This whole thing does.

I am heartbroken that I have to raise my black daughter to be careful with the police, instead of trusting them to protect her. I'm heartbroken that I honestly hope we don't ever have a son because I probably won't be able to sleep at night. Especially if he does the same stupid stuff so many teenage boys do... Except he won't get the benefit of the doubt or even the benefit of a trial.

@mrsjazz: you have said everything better than I could.

@MrsTiz: I love you, girl, truly and I know your heart. But you got this wrong with the word animal. Too much history you cannot erase. I believe that wasn't your intention but you can get something wrong without being malicious.

I'm not going to go through this and pick out people to respond to since I will just get worked up.

Others here have mentioned learning some from this thread, I would suggest perusing the following blogs if you are interested in continuing coverage of racial justice topics from Ferguson to racist Halloween costumes to voter disenfranchising, etc. Of course, these are liberal-leaning sites and I am not presenting them as facts or the only correct source for info, but just as a learning tool that I truly appreciate and thought others interested in this discussion may also appreciate. I try to unpack my own white privilege and learn, as a mama to mixed race children, a resident of an African-American majority area, and as a person of the world.

http://www.racialicious.com/
http://colorlines.com/
http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/blog/ Sociological Images is much more general, but they cover race issues a lot, tagged here: http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/tag/raceethnicity/

Again, if you think everyone needs to shut up and stop protesting, these are probably not the best websites for you.

I just wanted to say that I've been reading along and I do not feel in any way that I can have an opinion on the matter but you all have opened my eyes. I hope that we can continue to have interesting discussions like this even when it gets heated.

@NeekieRose: the National Bar Association was created because black lawyers were denied membership rom the American Bar Association. So let's not be ignorant to the fact that the ABA, at least once upon a time- maybe now IDK, had its own agenda, which was to exclude people of color.

@NeekieRose: because you were so dismissive that an organization of trained lawyers could disagree with how the prosecutor handled the case & the grand jury's decision.

of course they are protesting. they feel impotent and unheard and powerless. I wouldn't encourage it but god i don't blame them

@Madison43: There was a vi deo I saw one time (I'll try and find the link) where a white male dressed as a homeless person in a busy street. He clutched his chest and collapsed (acting, for an experiment) and laid on the sidewalk forever and tons of people walked by, but never helped him. He then dressed in a business suit and did the same thing and people swarmed around him to help him. People do profile people based on how they dress, most definitely.

@Dandelion: Good point.

Ah. I had a whole paragraph typed out but I'm not sure I can post it. I don't know enough about this particular situation and i'm frightened of offending someone.

@Dandelion: not offensive at all. Remember Officer Friendly from grade school? Black kids like him too.

The conversation is simply there are different rules for different people. Black parents prepare their children for when they will be stopped in their neighborhood for not belonging there. They prepare them for when they will be the one accused of cheating or stealing or instigating a fight or sexual harassment. They prepare them for being followed in a store and being looked upon with suspicion.

Most importantly they prepare them as to what to do when this stuff happens because it will. Comply, comply, comply. Check your attitude. Make sure your hands are visible at all times. Don't do what your (white) friends do because the consequence will not be the same. My bro had to learn that one the hard way. He was in junior high school hanging out with friends and they all wanted to defend their right to be where ever they were. He was the only one placed in a sleeper hold. Everyone came back to our house because they were outraged by the disparity in treatment. They all kept saying how my bro did no more or no less than what they did. The kids wanted to contact the media!

The conversations are meant to prepare and protect.

ETA: my bro didn't wear hip hop clothing, but I imagine some parents probably warn their kids that the way they dress will invite even more unwarranted attention. My husband told me how his mom disapproved of some of his t-shirts saying he didn't need to advertise he was black everyone can tell just by looking at you.

@Dandelion: Of course we should teach our children to respect authority. But it's about more than that, it's teaching our children about profiling, that you might be stopped on the street solely because you are a Black man, that you might be pulled over solely because you're a Black man. Even if you're completely innocent. It's preparing our children so that they don't walk into these situations unprepared. To deal with that on a daily, weekly, monthly basis is crushing to the soul. To always be the one that fits the description, when sometimes you really don't besides being Black! Not every Black man is a criminal, so it's hard for innocent, law-abiding citizens to move about in the world carrying this burden.

Have you ever heard of Driving While Black? I have plenty of anecdotes about that from my family members, both my grandfather and cousin have been pulled over frequently, they drive nice cars and are businessmen, just trying to get to their destinations. I live in a mixed neighborhood, but it's mostly white. I was getting out of the train and there were 3 boys walking--high school age, one Black, two white. They were just joking around being kids and the police stopped them. But whose pockets did they search? The Black kid's. Searched for no reason and then sent on their way. He hadn't done anything wrong.

I was very very happy that I was having a daughter. DH and I talk a lot about having a second child and I told him I want a guarantee that it will be another girl because I don't know that I have the heart to raise a Black boy in this country. To have him grow up to be feared

You may not trust my links, but you can research more on your own if you're curious:
Some Stats on driving while black
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2014/09/09/you-really-can-get-pulled-over-for-driving-while-black-federal-statistics-show/

Also, this comes from the NYCLU about Stop and Frisk and why it was discriminatory:

Myth #4: Stop-and-Frisk is not discriminatory.

“ [B]lacks made up 53 percent of the stop subjects and were 66 percent of the violent crime suspects in 2011... For Hispanics, 34 percent were stop subjects and 26 percent were violent crime suspects.” – NYPD Spokesperson Paul Browne

FACT: Comparing police stops to violent crime suspects is bad math. Only 11 percent of stops in 2011 were based on a description of a violent crime suspect. On the other hand, from 2002 to 2011, black and Latino residents made up close to 90 percent of people stopped, and about 88 percent of stops – more than 3.8 million – were of innocent New Yorkers. Even in neighborhoods that are predominantly white, black and Latino New Yorkers face the disproportionate brunt. For example, in 2011, Black and Latino New Yorkers made up 24 percent of the population in Park Slope, but 79 percent of stops. This, on its face, is discriminatory.
http://www.nyclu.org/node/1598

@erinpye: I am hugely in favor of reforms, but I don't think it's unreasonable to suggest that some groups may have an agenda or policy preferences. That's how change happens in America! I think it's a good thing.

@hummusgirl: I was looking for that WaPo piece but couldn't remember where I read it, so thanks for posting it.

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: @mrsjazz: Thank you, thank you, thank you, for your perspective as black women. It has been really eye-opening to me. I feel like your perspective is what matters the most and we can sit down and discuss all day but unless someone is actually black or from another profiled race, it's impossible to fully understand what it must be like to be you with how our world currently stands on these issues. The conversation over the last few days has been beneficial to me and I'm sure to many others.

@Dandelion: I cannot answer your question directly as I am not black, however I do not agree that we should blindly respect cops because they are in uniform and have been given a position of authority. Should we obey them? Yes because they are enforcing the law. But there's a big difference between obedience, and trust and respect. No one deserves trust or respect solely because of the uniform they wear. Those need to be earned! (at least in my opinion!)