Hellobee Boards

@MamaG: Annoyed...for sure! I'm not sure how far you want to go into it, but could you reach out and say just that?! "Hey I saw you posted a gew items for sale, if you didn't plan to use them, I would love to have them back for another friend or tax write off?

I would be put off by that for sure. Not sure I'd bring it up or address it though bc ... well really... what would you get out of the confrontation other than them knowing you know....??

I have a co worker who is pregnant and I have passed on some things to her and I got put off bc I saw another co worker also passing her stuff.... some of the same stuff I had already given her . So I'm not sure if she's doubling up or maybe she's selling one of the items somewhere. I just decided to stop passing things to her and never mentioned it.

I would totally be peeved and call them out on it (nicely like Faithfertility said - "I saw you posted some items I gave you for sale? if you didn't need it, I would have loved to have them back to give to other friends")! I don't *donate* and give away my stuff for other (not in "need") to make money off of. If they didn't need it, I would have more ok with them donating it than trying to make a buck of it.

1. That's really crappy that she ASKED for your stuff in the first place. I'm hating having to buy clothes when I know my SIL has a stash of clothes in every size and is hoping to be done with having kids and I'd love hand me downs...but I'd never outright say "Hey, can I have your stuff??"

2. And even for the stuff we have gotten, if we couldn't use it (we got three tummy time mats), I reached out to the parents that gave me the stuff and said hey, I'm offering these things to a friend and these to a maternity home, is that ok?

If was to sell anything, I'd definitely offer to give money to the person who gave it to me in the first place!

But again...I didn't ask for any of the stuff I got! People genuinely were looking for a good way to get rid of things.

Wow, tacky

I don't know how confrontational you are; if it was me I wouldn't say anything and just would not give them stuff in the future.

If I give away stuff to not so close friends, I would never expect them back. My friend and I just had an understanding because her DD was right in between my two DDs so we were just swapping stuff back and forth. I give her stuff from DD1, she gives them back in time for my DD2. And now after my DD2, they're all going to my SIL with her 3rd DD and since she's family I know I can get the stuff back for me or someone else if ever needed.

If it's "most" of the items you're seeing pop up, I'd be annoyed. Probably wouldn't say anything as it's water under the bridge, though.

If it's only a few things, who knows, maybe they just didn't like them or had the same thing at home, and figured they can get rid of them however they see fit since there was no discussion of returning them.

I’ve done this. Well I didn’t ask. My SIL, in another state, who is done having kids, has sent me everything from her last child. He is one year older than my oldest. I’ve gone through and sold stuff that isn’t my style. We are talking about sweater vests, infant shoes, stuff like that. Nothing that I am getting more than a few dollars for and definitely not the majority of the items.

I have been the recipient of boxes of hand-me-downs from 3 people and though I have been tempted to sell the items I didn't want/care for, I never do because it's just not right to make money off of someone else's stuff.

In 2 years after my kids are done using it, it's fair game then, right? Its mostly been clothes though and I would just give those away to a FTM, to pass on the love.

First, I would love someone to fill up a car full of clothes for me, so that's very kind of you!
2nd, I would be pissed if I donated clothes to someone and then saw them for sale a few days later. She definitely should've asked first before selling them, or she should be giving you some of the money from the sale.

Maybe casually ask, "hey, I saw you were selling my clothes on facebook, how did it go?" and see what she says. At best she offers you some compensation, at the least, she has to explain her actions.

First I would be annoyed, but then I would ask myself if maybe something was going on that I didn't know about where they needed the money. Could that be it?

I would certainly be annoyed, however I defer to Dear Abby/Dear Prudence/Ask Ann on this matter; they always say that once an item is given away the new owner has the right to do what they want with it.

I would certainly be wary of giving anything else to them, and it is certainly tacky for that person to re-sell items that she specifically stated she going to save. However the main point is that the items were no longer yours, so you have no say in what happened to them.

You did say that the family needed the items, so perhaps they were selling the items because they needed food on the table tonight, not clothes for next year.

Its not a great situation and I completely get your aggravation.

I would feel a bit miffed.

Recently I gave my aunt two rugs that I had not planned to sell because they were rolled and stored and it would have been more of PITA to unroll, take a pic, and list on FB. To me the rugs were trashed once I realized I was getting new I didn’t care about eating and drinking over them. My aunt took the rugs, kind of sight unseen, and said she would use them in her garage to soak up car oil. She wanted me to be okay with the car oil use. Well, the next week she put them up for sale at her community garage sale. I know this because she called to inquire about the original price and dimensions to help her price them. I was annoyed for half a minute, but I didn’t have a better plan for the rugs and they were hers now.

I think its kind of tacky that she asked for them and didn't tell you her intentions, but I also agree that once we give something away we've lost ownership and don't really have a say anymore (unless there was some pre-arranged agreement, like "I want these back when you are done.")

I'd let it go. I think I've sold some hand-me-downs before, but I'm not sure. I can't remember what i was given/bought myself. I've definitely never asked for something with that specific intention, though.