What do you do for a kid who just won't listen to the "rules"? I've long given up on hoping that she will go back to sleep at 5 am but I do expect her to stay in her room until at least 530, preferably 6, for various reasons. We've tried sticker charts, talking about how her room is a special relaxing place only for her, asking her to wait to come out until the sun comes up....I like to spend a few minutes reading and drinking coffee in the mornings (I'm asking for 10 to 20 minutes here, not long) and this morning, she was obviously testing her boundaries. In a 15 minute span I asked her to go back to her room at least 10 times. I told her I would come get her when it was time get up but that didn't seem to be assuring to her. Anyone have any suggestions on getting her to stay in her room? Am I expecting too much of her? (She's 3.5)
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A gate?
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@erinbaderin: then she would just yell and wake her sister
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Would she listen to an Ok to Wake clock? I find my DD listens to inanimate objects better than me, haha!
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For my 3.5 year old this level of choosing not to follow directions would mean a pretty serious loss of privileges. Of course we also do all the positive talking first about relaxing and personal time and expectations, but if that's been done and LO is still coming out, not cool. We use an OK to wake clock, so there is no excuse. If the clock isn't green, you stay in your room and quiet and resting because your body needs rest to be healthy. If you choose not to follow those directions you lose a privilege. But that wouldn't really be fair without a clock or a light on a timer or other foolproof way for her to know when she's allowed to come out. Once you have that the expectation is perfectly reasonable. Then if LO continued to come out there would be a consequence. For us asking to go back 10 times is a big no. If I had to ask more than once or twice LO would have lost screens for a few days.
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@abbydabbydoodlebug: I have no idea if she'd actually follow it!
@MrsSRS: I agree that it wouldn't be fair to remove privileges without something a little more concrete than the sun to go by. But you did make me feel like I'm not being unreasonable for at least being annoyed that she can't seem to follow my instructions. It's an added layer of hard because we have a small house and I'm not sure how she would react when I tell her tv time (or whatever) is taken away and I really don't want her to wake her sister. But in that note, if one bad morning led to more great mornings, I guess it would even out! -
My parents always said "delayed obedience is disobedience." There was no 2nd warnings in my house. However, I don't know if 3.5 is when to start that? And I agree, more concrete guidelines would be helpful, not just when the sun is up.
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@DesertDreams88: that's how I feel too. I felt like she was disobeying me but I felt like it was/is unclear what the rules were and what the consequences would be so I just didn't do anything but ask her to go back to her room. Clearly, we need to set up More clear and firm boundaries. Thanks guys!
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Picking up an okay to wake clock at target today! She says she wants a Frozen clock so we're compromising and she is going to decorate it with Frozen stickers. I'm thinking she can get a jelly bean in the morning if stays until it lights up, no jelly bean if she doesn't and loss of screentime for leaving her room more than once. Is that too complicated?
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Hmm... Does she get to potty first at least? My 3.5 year old has to potty first thing in the morning, and take off her wet pullup. I would never deny her that since it's pretty gross to expect a potty trained kid to be in a wet pull-up.
Our 3.5 year old has an okay to wake clock, and I do encourage her to try to stay in bed until it's on, ...but if she comes after I'm awake for the day, I'm fine with it. I guess the idea of drinking coffee alone doesn't exist in my house, haha. Also, I leave for work at 6:45 am, so I don't mind getting a few extra minutes with my kiddos in the morning while I get ready. Today she was up at about 5:50 and she sat in the bathroom while I dried my hair. =) =)
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We are using the okay to wake clock to try and get LO to not scream for us until after it is green. He is usually pretty content in his room but he shouts for me the second he wakes up. So far, we are on day 4 and he didn't' shout for us until after it turned green!
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@Anagram: at this point I feel like it's more about testing her limits than actually being ready to get up. She's been getting up at 450, 430...crazy times that are completely inconsistent with how she's slept in the past and what I know her needs are. I don't plan on making her stay in there till 7 or anything but 545/ 6 would be nice. I also crave consistency, I hate not knowing! If she asks, she may certainly go potty without penalty. She knows how to remove her pull up herself and doesn't usually feel the need to ask for permission
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My daughter is also 3.5. She knows what the number 6 is on the clock and will not come to us before that. We got to this point by making chocolate chip banana bread muffins together (which we called "cupcakes" and we told her if she stayed in bed until 6 that she gets cupcakes for breakfast. That was a long time ago (maybe a year?) but it has stuck and she no longer expects a reward for staying in bed. She does come running right at 6 to tell us it is 6, and we give her hugs and congratulations for waiting until 6.
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